When is it okay to call a woman a slut?

In My Humble Opinion
41

I agree it is a sexist double standard. When I think of it I remember Jerry Seinfeld said on Seinfeld, when Elaine asked what he would do if he were a woman and he said he would be at the docks waiting for the next ship to come in. In other words, if men had the access to sex that women did, they would do it constantly with multiple partners. I think perhaps it got that way because a woman with multiple partners wouldn’t have a man willing to provide for her when she was vulnerable in pregnancy because none of the men could be sure the child is theirs.

And, well…see the difference there is that you cannot choose what race to be, and race has nothing to do with the quality of person you are. Your actions, however, are something you can be judged by. When someone says “don’t judge me for my race, gender, etc” I agree. When someone says “don’t judge me for my actions” you get a big eyeroll. What else can you safely judge someone by but their actions? Also, I’d use the term both ways; a man that has sex with a lot of women is a slut.

42

I think this ignore the history of how the word has been used to demean and degrade women. Someone might say “I don’t use the word ‘nigger’ to demean black people exclusively – anyone who is lazy and dishonest can be described as a ‘nigger’” using the same logic.

43

Again, though, it is descriptive of an action: slut - sleeps with lots of people, whereas racist terms are descriptive of stereotyped traits. I recognize that you see them as the same, but I don’t.

44

Slut isn’t just “sleeps with lots of people” – it also implies one is unclean, impure, dirty, untrustworthy, of lower character, fit to be objectified, etc, in its use historically.

45

I have known ladies who were totally proper with me in public and a bit freaky with me in private. Some of them liked to be called sluts (as in let’s have fun in bed).

Some think of sluts as people who sleep around and some think of them as people with no, or fewer, personal hang ups.

Like morality, ‘slut’ depends on personal interpretation.

46

No, she’s quite clearly a whore.

Overheard on the internet:
“If a key opens many locks, it’s a master key. If a lock is opened by many keys, it’s a shitty lock.” :smiley:

47

This.

48

Well, the spice is there, but you’re limiting your positions.
(In all seriousness though, the OP strikes me as an odd sort of question. Like asking “when is it OK to call someone the son of a motherless goat?” but less amusing and more vicious. I mean, why!?)

49

If you’re in a D/s relationship, where she’s the sub?

But only if she’s ignorant.

50

Its ok when women have achieved total and complete equality with men and the word does not have the connotation it does now

And also if she asks you to

51

I think the first step to equality is to make an effort to treat both sexes as equal, which means either we make no sexual/gender based insults at women or men, or we make them to both. Personally, I don’t think I’ve ever used the word slut, but I also don’t think it belongs on the same level of taboo as blanket racist or sexist terms like nigger or cunt. To me, the word slut particularly references a degree of sexual immorality or uncleanliness, which is obviously up to interpretation based on the user and the intended target, so I can’t see it as a generic term to be applied to any random woman.

For instance, if one wants to insult a woman in a gender specific way, say she cuts you off in traffic, cunt or bitch will work in any circumstance, but if you call her a slut or whore, it seems incongruous to me. Obviously, the ideal situation would be to let it slide and use no insult, or perhaps use an interjection that doesn’t rely on one’s gender or whatever, like calling her an inconsiderate jerk.

I still think any kind of blanket ban on it makes little sense. If one discovers that one’s partner is cheating, as the vast majority would consider that an immoral sexual act, male or female, I think a word akin to slut or whore is reasonable. I’d like to think I still would refrain in such a situation, but I’d have a hard time condemning a friend, expressing his or her anger over such a situation, for being somehow gender insensitive for using that term. I have, however, pointed out that I think it’s wrong to others, in the process ofinsulting a female boss, with a similar term, that while she was, in fact, being selfish, inconsiderate, and irrational, and I used a more accurate insult.

That all said, I do think there’s still a double standard regarding the sexual morality of men and women, but it seems to have significantly lessened in my generation compared to others. I don’t think any of my friends see women who engage in regular casual sex as any different than men who do, the woman isn’t a slut and the man isn’t a stud, they both just have casual sex. And even when I’ve known people who have cheated or been cheated on, it seems that the anger is more directed at the betrayal, rather than at the sexual act itself.

52

Because it’s really satisfying to heap social opprobrium on those you dislike. And to enforce shared community standards. Pretty much the point of half the internet, including this very message board. You should go around to pit threads and copy-paste this post, just changing “slut” to whatever the insult is. I guess not everyone has ascended to your level of sainthood yet.

53

Those not feeling to “heap social opprobrium” on others now qualify for sainthood?
:dubious:

54

I think of “slut” as pretty deeply tied to a “shared community standard” I find deeply offensive. It still pretty strongly carries the idea that sexual activity is inherently demeaning to the woman involved. Even if a particular woman is engaging in particular sexual behavior I find offensive or problematic, I am going to avoid a word that still carries this more universal connotation in many circles.

55

A slut is a woman who sleeps with lots of men.

A player is a man who sleeps with lots of women.

I, personally, strongly dislike both.

56

I disagree slightly.

A whore is a woman who sleeps with a lot of men.
A whore is a man who sleeps with a lot of women.

A slut (said as lovingly as you can think) is the one who isn’t afraid to know what she wants. Let me make you make noises…

57

And the best I can do is talk about my kayaking I did over the weekend.

58

If they’re a friend that you have that sort of relationship with, then it’s ok. I have female friends I call a slut, they call me a whore. It’s all in jest. (just so we aren’t going after the same guy!)

59

Slut—man-whore. It takes one to do one.

Maya Angelou was a prostitute at one time. When Oprah said she’d been promiscuous stemming from childhood sexual abuse she enabled a lot of us to say, “So that’s why!”

Maybe a woman is a slut if she doesn’t have anything else to give, or banks everything on that one activity. But it’s never okay to label a woman “slut” unless you’re willing to carry the label “judgmental without knowing the why.”

60

An enlightened, sex-positive man is one who returns home from work yet again to find his preschool-age children unattended and unfed in a filthy house, and when his wife arrives late that night, intoxicated and without her underwear, says to her “you negligent mother!”