[quote=“Nametag, post:154, topic:617093”]
There’s not a social cue in this entire paragraph.
QUOTE]
What are you??? Blind???
99 times out of 100, when someone is suddenly being curt or rude to you, it’s because you didn’t pick up on the dozen other cues in body language or tone that would’ve clued you into the fact they’re not interested in chit chat (little to no eye-contact; short, stilted answers; no reciprocal questions; body turned away from you; “uh-huhs” or throat clearing; feigning interest in something else; lighting themselves on fire; etc.)
After someone doesn’t pick up on these ingrained, passive attempts, the only other options left is to endure the uncomfortable yammering on their part, or to say “Don’t talk to me anymore” (i.e. “shut up!”). Perhaps he could’ve said “Please,” but I somehow doubt that would’ve made a difference. It seems rude, because, just maybe, you weren’t picking up on some clues he might have dropped above.
I can’t stand chit-chat with strangers myself, so anytime I’m in line, in a waiting room, or at the Secretary of State, I always seem to get beleaguered by the chit-chatters. I’ll usually exchange the weather and other pleasantries, then drop those clues as politely as I can. It’s rarely ever happened, but unless I felt the other was bizarrely off-kilter or inexplicably aggressive in their interaction with me, then I’d flat-out resort to “Dood, leave me alone!”
Then I would have said, “Ok.” and left it at that.
That’s what I’ve been trying to explain.
I know that may be too complicated for you to understand so I’ll break it down for you:
He should have said that (“I don’t really feel like talking right now.”) so I would not have to say what I should have said (“Oh, sorry, I’m getting an estimate and wondered if this place was reasonable.”).
It’s ok. I know possible worlds are not easily understood.
And by saying, “You are brazen.” after saying that, the guy is still talking to me.
Heh. You didn’t leave him alone after he said, “I don’t want to talk to you,” now, did you?
Instead:
How did “I don’t want to talk to you,” not get interpreted by you as, “Dood, leave me alone!”
cmyk - Can you tell me where I’m going wrong (or right) on this:
“Dood, leave me alone!”
Implying: "You were giving a nice chat, even though I don’t like chit-chat, and you seemed nice, but you were focused on pushing one topic (sports, religion, your personal life, ect.) and your enthusiasm could be interpreted as unwanted physical contact (slapping my knee, kicking my leg, obsessively wanting high fives, ect.).
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
Implying: “How dare you even think that you may speak to me.”
This is the first paragraph that cmyk posted:
It doesn’t remotely imply what you’d like to think it does.
Or reciprocal high fives. 
Frank pretty much read me right, but not being there, I can’t really say what ultimately resulted in him saying that, because none of us can see and intuit the interplay that led up to it. Also, despite the exact words he used, it seems all too clear in reading between the lines you were bothering him in some way.
Maybe he was having a shitty day. Maybe his dog just died. Or he was just bummed about having to cough up some cash he probably couldn’t afford in the first place. Maybe he’s not talkative, or friendly, or was just being a dick. Whatever the case, if someone tells me to not talk to them, and they owe me nothing, the onus is now on me to respect their wishes or for whatever reason, to escalate it. For reasons a lot of us are having trouble understanding, is why you felt you needed to escalate this situation. 
I was just asking the man about the estimate on his headlights.
Here is the conversation in its entirety. I even called the man “sir”. :smack: The only thing that I can think of is that I did not attach “sir” to the question I repeated. What went wrong? 
(he sits down)
“Are you getting your headlights repaired, sir?”
(he indicates that he could not hear the question)
“Are you getting your headlights repaired?”
(he answers in the affirmative)
“What was the estimate?”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“For someone who speaks so politely, you are very rude.”
“You don’t want to talk to me. I want to talk to you.”
“You are brazen.”
“Brazen?”
“Didn’t you say you don’t want to talk to me?”
Who wouldn’t be?
I was wrong to escalate it. I was angry, about the money, about my car, and I wanted advice. Here’s how the conversation should have went:
(he sits down)
“Are you getting your headlights repaired, sir?”
(he indicates that he could not hear the question)
“Are you getting your headlights repaired?”
(he answers in the affirmative)
“What was the estimate?”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I was just hoping you could tell me whether I was getting a good estimate. I’m sorry that I offended you. I won’t talk to you anymore today, sir.”
How is this conversation different from the conversation that unfortunately took place?
In a word, pride.
Are you serious? How is it different? One is a slightly unpleasant interaction, the other is a threatening and socially clueless display.
Are you sure the old guy wasn’t trying to give you the brush off earlier on in this interaction? I’m guessing that what you interpreted as ‘sorry I can’t hear you’ was actually ‘look kid, I’m not interested in conversation’. When you didn’t pick up on his signals he was then forced to verbally tell you that he wasn’t interested.
Two things:
-
Please stop saying “should have went”. The phrase is “should have gone”.
-
You are not responsible for what the other guy said. You are responsible for what you said. What you have here is an entire thread full of people telling you that the part of the conversation you were responsible for did not go well and we’re not entirely sure why you’re so proud of it.
Okay, this is just a projection of your issues and nothing more, straight up. “I don’t want to talk to you.” Means only that. That you interpret it as “How dare you…” only demonstrates that your insecurities are out of control and affecting your interpretation of innocent remarks.
When you read, ‘how dare you’, into another’s innocent words, it’s pretty clearly your issue. All you.
Pride, never easy to ignore. I get it.
The red exchange is the part that’s brazen. The rest was goading him, so of course you pissed him off, then began to act strangely by actually remaining silent by taking “Don’t Talk” too literally and not apologizing or keeping to yourself, so you made a scene when you began to mock the guy wearing glasses, and your silence made things even moreso bizarre and unsettling.
I should have known this. :smack:
I think we’ve analyzed this two minute conversation for days, the end of last month. I, for one, think it’s time to give it a rest. Lesson learned. It’s a new month. I’ve literally 
and figuratively turned the page. Tomorrow I’m going to a car shop that a coworker friend I’ve worked with for three years recommended. I told him about the car. I did not ask him to take a look. He volunteered and took the time to see the damage to the car. “It’s not too bad”, he said. I nodded. I pointed to the hood, fender, bumper and headlight. He said to have someone heavy sit on the hood or get a rubber mallet and pound out the dent. He said I could get the broken plastic replaced. I told him I’m not worried about the fender or the bumper. He said get the hood repaired and get the plastic replaced. I thanked him and he went his way. I want to get my car fixed so that I will be ready for the next car accident. It’s an old, beat up car anyway. Michigan drivers…
No, I already made a scene when I said what you highlighted in red.
dude. You was the bitch brought it up.
While I respect your opinion, I do not want to go over the conversation, or any variation thereof, again, unless you can discuss the cooperative principle. Other posters are, of course, free to discuss the cooperative principle. Moderators are welcome to close this thread at their discretion.
I’m convinced that Kosmik is every person in this story and was just arguing with himself. It’s the only way it makes any sense.
Malcovitch! Malcovitch! Malcovitch!
Who asked you?
Universal Pictures today announced that it was withdrawing its copyright infringement lawsuit against the producers of the new film Being Kozmik after it suffered the worst box-office opening weekend of all time. In addition to the record-breaking poor attendance, the film has attracted near-universal critical scorn and is thought to be a motivating factor in the recent alleged suicide of film critic Leonard Maltin. In a press statement released Monday, Universal President and CEO Ron Meyer said the existence of the film itself was “punishment enough.”
*
Being John Malkovich* director Spike Jonze, reportedly off doing something adorable and twee, could not be reached for comment.