A woman with a shaved head and wearing men’s clothing started obnoxiously hitting on me when I had no interest in her, she ignored all polite attempts to shut it down. It got to the point I was like damn stop please, I don’t need you to draw me a diagram of fellatio although it might be funny.
I would have thought it was all in good fun except for the fact she seemed sober and humorless and had no friends with her, if she was trying to make some kind of point it was lost.
Kozmik really reminds me of this guy I worked with for a year in China, just with a few slight differences. This dude was a seriously hardcore Christian fundamentalist (which I don’t believe Kozmik to be) who was totally manic every time I ever saw him. He would go on and on about linguistics, and then suddenly he’d be talking about the exorcisms he had been to. He had so many of these bizarre confrontations with people, and he never understood why.
One such confrontation involved seeing a man walking down the hallway of the building where he lived, and he called the cops. It could have been that the man was indeed a prowler or something, but I’m just not sure what the deal was. Anyway, the man was arrested and not seen again. Several months later, we group of people (myself and the guy) were having dinner at a restaurant and the man walks in the restaurant, sits down with us, and lectures the guy for several minutes. Turns out the man was sent to a labor/reeducation camp (without trial) based on the accusation by a foreigner. (Or at least, that’s what the man said happened.)
The guy said nothing through this whole exchange. The man got up, left, and that was that. Dinner resumed, with the rest of us just gobsmacked at what a fucked up think just happened. I’m pretty sure that every single day of this guy’s life had some strange confrontation like that.
I can’t help but think that Kozmik is in a similar position: strange things happen constantly to him, and the fact that there is one common denominator to all this weirdness is never fully recognized.
I’ve met Kozmik at a Dopefest a few years ago. We barely had much interaction, but I remember his kindness and intelligence, however I can’t say I doubt much the veracity of the events he describes in the OP.
Kozmik the reaction you describe in the OP isn’t typical behavior, no matter how you slice and dice it. You seem to have outlined a blindspot you have in the perception of your actions, and the behaviors, actions and reactions you’d expect of others. They just don’t align with typical experience amongst strangers (percieved rude or not), and mocking or posturing strangers in obtuse ways, thinking you’re out-smarting them when in actuality you’re, at the least, pissing them off, might eventually lead to you getting hurt.
Have you considered making an appointment with a psychologist? Taking words very literally, as you’ve focused on like a laser here, as some sort of linguistic small-talk jousting, and not picking up on other (just as important, if not more so) social cues like body language, tone and sarcasm is a blinking neon sign of Asperger’s*, and/or perhaps some other underlying disorders.
*Before the knee jerking… I know how much it’s over-diagnosed, but we have met and am father to a daughter whose been diagnosed with AS, as well as a few other labels, as they’re called for in society. Despite this, it’s very real, and this is what pronounced AS can look like.
Okay, assuming you’re not exaggerating and the old guy actually said “I don’t want to talk to you”, that was pretty rude. But you seriously can’t see the difference between the behavior of a slightly crotchety old man and your aggressively confrontational response?
All of us encounter rude people now and then. Most of us are able to deal with it without escalating the situation into a huge incident that results in threats of police action. It seems to me that there are certain posters on this board who live lives of constant confrontation, and they tend to believe that weird stuff and unpleasant people are just attracted to them for some reason. But the truth is that we all deal with the occasional less-than-friendly person, most of us just learn to roll with it and move on without making a bad situation worse. Most of us don’t feel the need to ‘win’ in these scenarios, because what the hell is the point?
I don’t understand how you ‘almost verbally rape’ someone, so I’m with you on this one.
I’m different around friends. The only time I’ve ever had an" incident" - the only time - was when I was with a group of friends at a restaurant. This was when I was in college. While we were at our table, plates kept being accumulated from side plates to dinner plates to dishes and bowls. And that’s when the incident happened.
The server came over (probably to check on drinks) and I mentioned to her that there is no room on the table with all these plates piling up and that they should be removed. The girl I was sitting next to, who was a good friend of mine, took offence to me asking the server to remove the plates. We were both in a co-ed business fraternity and I pointed out that one of the points of hospitality is that restaurants should not leave its guests to have to deal with the accumulation of plates over the course of the evening. (Hospitality was one of the categories in our intercollegiate competition.) We still remained friends however. I don’t think a friendship should be ruined over an argument over plates.
**cmyk **- Do you remember anything from our Michigan Dopefest other than the pizza?
About the guy with sunglasses. He had on a sports cap backwards. There was some kind of device in his ear that I assume he uses in conjunction with his cell phone. He was wearing non-descript casual attire. I didn’t really notice him enter the collision shop. The first time I noticed him he was getting popcorn from the (complementary?) popcorn stand located in the corner of the waiting room. Now, the funny thing is: I did not get popcorn until sometime after he got it. See, I do get social cues. However, I was concerned that he was stealing popcorn. Then I figured he might be a worker and this assumption would be of some consequence later on as I mentioned in the OP. I thought that either I had to pay for the popcorn (like the candy bars) or it was only for workers, but I really was not sure. At this point, I knew two things: Someone, a worker or a customer, took popcorn from the popcorn stand and I might want to get popcorn for myself after a while.
I did not mention in the OP that before the guy with sunglasses, before the elderly man with the hat came in, it was just me and a cute receptionist named Amanda. (Amanda is her real name. I don’t know the name of the guy wearing sunglasses and even if I did I would not, for obvious reasons, reveal it. I do know the last name of the elderly man with the hat, but, for the purposes of this thread, let’s just call him Mr. Feeny.)
I come in to the collision shop. Fill out forms or whatever and, while doing that, notice the candy bars. I pick out the Butterfinger and pay $1. I suppose Amanda thought I was nice and friendly. I don’t know. Mentioning The Simpsons while purchasing the Butterfinger (be yourself, right?), she smiles and, while eating the Butterfinger, off-hand say that my dentist would not want to know that I’m eating it. She laughs and says, “Yeah, they really wouldn’t like you eating it.” End of the first but of course not the last conversation of the day. Sitting there, finishing my Butterfinger, I could not have any idea of what was going to transpire…
So a good first conversation.
I already went over the second conversation.
Now, let me explain the encounter.
After I say “Well, (eats popcorn) since you’re not going to answer my question, I’m just going to sit here and enjoy the show”, guy wearing sunglasses confronts me and tells me, “Don’t talk to that man again.” I throw the popcorn bag in the trash and start talking to the guy and then he points his finger at me and says, “Just don’t talk to anyone.” I look at Amanda, then look at the guy, put on the sunglasses I had in my pocket, stand up, standing next to the receptionist desk, making a point of being next to Amanda. I mirror his posture. I put my right hand in my right pocket.
“Just don’t talk to anyone.”
(puts on sunglasses)
He was okay with me mocking him. (Whether he knew I was mocking him is another question..) He was satisfied that I “obeyed” his rule of “just don’t talk to anyone” by putting on sunglasses. (I did wonder at the time whether I would be breaking his rule by talking to Amanda.) I did not talk. I just stood there. When one of the workers came with my car keys I left the waiting room and talked to the worker. I drove out of there, having one last look at Mr. Feeny and the guy. I was still wearing my sunglasses.
“Just don’t talk to anyone.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
“Just don’t talk to anyone.”
(puts on sunglasses)
Sometimes speech is more powerful than silence and sometimes silence is more powerful than speech.
There is some detail you are leaving out that would explain why Feeny and sunglasses guy were so hostile to you. What was your physical appearance? Were you wearing a gimp suit? Do you have swastika tattoos everywhere? Are you Andy Dick?
Your later reactions were bizarre but I guess the situation was also bizarre.
The thing about weirdness/dysfunction, that borders on personality disorder/mental illness, is that, at first, it’s just a few awkward conversations.
But over time, things begin to tell, and what were once awkward attempts at conversation become overtly aggressive. Hence the projection of ‘winning’ the conversation. Or the forgone assumption that anyone should be expected to engage and interact, also projection of aggressor’s issues, in my opinion.
And in short order, this person is putting off such a vibe that people become instantly resistant to any interaction. As the mentally ill person becomes ignored and, in a way, invisible, it only drives them to interact or engage more aggressively. Kind of a vicious circle or spiral, I suppose.
It would explain why everyone encountered here behaved as they did, so I’m sticking with it, as my wild ass guess!
The answer to this question could temper my reaction somewhat. The “Adventures in Hyper-literalism” shtick, along with “hee hee, let’s freak out the squares!” are things I might’ve found appealing at age 16 or 17.
If the OP is in his twenties or older, it’s a lot tougher to smile at.
Oops: guess I didn’t post this. I realized soon after I made my post above that Kozmik did not actually talk to the actor who played Mr. Feeny on Boy Meets World, but just some old guy. I guess my eyes glazed over a bit reading the first post.
That doesn’t change my opinion that “I don’t want to talk to you” is unnecessarily rude phrasing, even if I would give him a bit more slack for possibly not having been around people in a while.
And, I repeat, I still think Kozmik’s reaction was bizarre. And I know some of you think my opinions on social things are bizarre, so I think that’s saying something.
What is this “have to say” nonsense???
You were being a turd. He didn’t want to engage in a conversation with you. You couldn’t shut your gob. He put you down, perhaps harshly, and you wanted to escalate it.
His trying to shut you up was not a conversation.
He wasn’t trying to "impose his wil"l on you anymore than you were trying to impose your will on him. As a matter of fact, you were an agressor; he just wanted a little peace and quiet. You tried to impose your will of making all of society your yes-men to speak when you felt the desire to speak. He resisted this. He was more or less polite in answering your jabbering, until he realized he needed to be more direct.
You couldn’t shut up…
