Another vote for “whenever it’s right for all of you.”
WhyKid had his own room from day one. We never had a problem hearing him, as it was right next to ours. For naptimes, we used a monitor.
WhyBaby was planned to sleep in our room simply because we don’t have another room to put her in. Then she came along all early and stuff, and so I’m even more adamant that she’ll sleep in our room (but in her own bed - a baby hammock) when she comes home. She’ll probably have an apnea monitor, and I’ll feel much better lifting my head to check on her whenever it beeps, instead of frantically running to the next (imaginary) room every ten minutes. I hope to have a new place, including a room of her own, by the time she’s a year or so, but I expect a period of adjustment to get us both used to sleeping in different rooms.
Gonna get an Amby Baby? We had one and loved it. Except Tinkleberry HATED it. It got used for about 3-4 weeks, then it was big boy crib time. He just didn’t like the movement of it.
My little bird co-slept with us until she was nearly two because I breastfed her that long. This did not cause much of problem with our love life since DH and I long ago decided that sex outside of bed is more fun than in it.
It was simply easier to plop her down next to me and boob feed her back to sleep. She’s been weaned since December so she’s in her own bed in her own room. This means she falls asleep downstairs. I then put her in her big girl bed with the siderail. She promptly wakes up at six a.m., realizes that mommy is not there and starts wailing. At 6:15 I grab her from her the room and plop her in my bed so we both get a few more hours of sleep.
We had the Little Prince in the room with us for, oh, maybe 20 minutes when he first came home. I exaggerate, but, like many babies, he was extremely loud. The second night, I was desperately trying to get some sleep and actually ended up leaving our bedroom (where he and his dad were) and going to sleep on the couch in the living room. At that point, I realized that this was defeating the purpose.
However, since we discovered he has reflux when he was around 2 weeks old, we moved into a different pattern. From then until he was about 8 weeks old, he couldn’t or wouldn’t sleep flat on his back, so either he would sleep propped up on my (or dad’s) chest, or we slept him in his bouncy chair and one of us slept on the couch beside him, depending on which he would tolerate. Like Stonebow and Faerie Beth , we parents generally switched off about halfway through, as being the couch parent wasn’t particularly restful.
Basically, what I’ve read is this: you do whatever it takes for the first 3 months to ensure that all of you get at least some sleep and function relatively well (meaning, no nervous breakdowns, if at all possible). Then you start changing over to whatever system you hope to be on long-term. Cosleepers likely have a different viewpoint, but this is what worked for us.
Yep - on the recommendation of a Doper. It will just squeeze next to my side of the bed, it’s portable and fits in our tent for camping (which we do a lot), and it’s tilted (she’s got reflux, so that will help with that problem). Of course, she’s been sleeping in a stationary isolette for seven weeks now, and has at least eight more to go, so who knows if she’ll like the motion when she comes home. I hope so, because I plan to carry her around pretty much all the time in the Maya Wrap when I’m not sleeping.
Our daughter was in her own room from her first night home. About 3 months later, we moved aboard our old boat, and she was sleeping arm’s length from me. Fourteen months later when we lived on dry land again, she had her own room. It never occurred to me to have her in our room.
Well, if you want to try before you buy, let me know. Ours was used, oh, 2 weeks. We’re gonna use it for our second baby in a few years, but I’d be down for a loan if you need it. Man, those things are expensive!
Of course, ours has blue and white sheets, which may be unpleasing for a girl, IYHO.
Our daughter got her own room when she was about four months old. Prior to that, we didn’t really have a choice, since we lived in a one-bedroom apartment, and moved to a two-BR apartment when she was about four months old. We didn’t have any problems at all moving her. However, when she was about 2 1/2yo, and we moved her to a toddler bed, she started coming to sleep in our room again. We had to kick her out of the bed, because I was 6 months pregnant and she kicked more than the baby did. We made a nest of blankets for her next to our bed. We would put her to bed in her own bed in the evening, then around 3am, she would get up and come into her nest in our room and sleep there for the rest of the night, until she was more than 6yo.
Our son refused to sleep in our room at all. It wasn’t until we put him in a room by himself that he really started sleeping well at night, and he started sleeping through the night when he was about two weeks old, when we put him in a different room. The kids ostensibly shared a room for a few months, until we could move into a three-BR apartment, but since daughter slept on our floor most of the time, it wasn’t a problem.
Our daughter is 13yo now, and our son is 10. Son still will NOT sleep in the same room with anyone else, unless he is too sick to protest, and he insists on having his door closed at night. (Nights in hotel rooms are a nightmare!) Daughter sleeps in her own room now, but doesn’t mind sharing her room with (female, family) guests if necessary, and insists on leaving her bedroom door open so she can hear us when we’re sleeping.
My two ( 5 & nearly 7) fall asleep in our bed, my half every night, along with the dog who is 88 pounds of snoring goodness. My daughter and husband snore and take up loads of real estate. My son is a snuggler. I sleep like a rock. They sleep like a rock.
Sometimes we carry them back to their beds, sometimes Mr. Ujest sleeps on the couch even though the kids sleep canoodling me on my half. Not his.
The bonus of all this is when we travel, they fall asleep no problems in sharing bed situations in hotels. None of this bouncing around like loonies on crack.
Oh, one more thing, since we started reading chapter books ( Harry Potter) I read about 3-4 chapters a night, some more, some less. When I am finished, I am wiped out. My daughter is already asleep and my son roles right over onto his side and is out in an instant. I chuck my book onto the floor ( I’m trapped in the middle) and I am out like a light within moments.
It is truly a wonderful experience. And the dog likes story time too.
Tinkleberry is now in his own room. We moved his crib earlier tonight. We were waiting until DrLoveGun’s days off in case Unfortunate Incidents were to occur. He was a bit curious and puzzled when he watched the crib being moved and when he was put to sleep, but he seems OK. So far, all there is are the the sounds of zzzzzzzzz.
I’m glad that Tinkleberry made an easy transition!
Nah. My son co-slept from 1 month (when he came home from the hospital as a preemie) until he was 19 months old, and although I considered same-room sleeping a necessity when dealing with the apnea monitor, outside of that, I’m all for whatever gets you through the night in the first few months, provided that one takes appropriate safety precautions.
Shirley Ujest-I totally agree on co-sleeping making travel so much easier. That’s why even after we transitioned our son, we still did and do take naps etc. with him once in a while. Otherwise it’s hell to take our 2 year old out of town, or say, pop him into bed with us if he pulls off his diaper and pees all over everything in sight, and we have to hold off on putting new bedding on his mattress until the baking soda and Febreeze dry (let’s just say…)
Shirley–it’s so reassuring to hear from another co-sleeper. I was reading this thread feeling like a deviant!
Mine are almost 4 and almost 2. The baby starts out in his crib but 9 times out of 10 he’s still waking at night, so into my bed he comes. The older one doesn’t even have a separate bed, it’s on the list but for now we’re content. I think I’m going to really miss it when they decide they’re ready for a “big boy” bed. Well, everything except the occasional 4 am kick to the ribs, of course.
My nearly nine year old slept with us in a basket for the first couple of months, then in a cot in our room for the first half of the night. When he woke up for a feed then it was with me in my futon for the rest of the night. We moved him into his own room when he could roll over and sit up by himself at about 8 or 9 months old. This was considered absolutely BARBARIC and CRUEL by my Japanese parents in law and fairly awful by my husband, but I could not bear another night of him waking up and wanting either boobs or playtime for two hours most nights. He did get hauled into our bed every morning about 4am for the early feed and a few more zzzzs. Once he was a toddler and in a futon of his own (at 1 and a half he climbed out of his cot, came into the living room and announced proudly, “I jus pop out, Mummy!” Sigh…) then he came into our bed every night somewhere between midnight and 4am. Luckily he gravitated mostly to my husband as I cannot bear anything touching me when I am asleep. He now only comes in maybe once a week at age 8.
Little brother followed the same pattern except he was a not quite preemie who was very dopey and not with it for the first six months, and who also cried non-stop unless he was put on his tummy. As he had almost no neck control till 7 months, and I’d been filled with SIDS information and worries, he slept in the same room as me, naps and all, and only on a hard futon. Once we were past that danger which took ages as he didn’t sit or roll over consistently till he was nearly 1, then he went in a cot in the same room as big bro. He is now nearly five and comes into our bed every.single. night. Uhhhh. And plasters himself down my back and demands half my pillow. Grrr.
On the other hand, travel with them is indeed very easy, and they sleep very well.
Last night there was much Zzzzzzzzzzz. Woke up at 3 am for a bottle, but that’s normal. Goes to sleep at 8, wakes at 3, has bottle, and back to sleep by 3:30 until 8 am. Every day. Whether we like it or not. Clever boy, knew we set the clocks ahead. Still woke up at 8:05. Damn him.
I always figured co-sleeping parents were those new age hippie granola types.
Then I had kids.
And my husband worked like a lunatic and I became a single parent married to a laundry pile.
If I actually wanted to get a couple of hours to myself at night, I pulled one of them in with me. the one having night terrors. The other only just joined the family circus recently by stealthily climbing in every night or falling asleep next to me. They fall asleep faster and we have some lovely non-interupting 100% attention time conversations that are just wonderful.
It isn’t every night and I have to say the buggers steal my pillows and have a tendancy to each sleep facing me with their mouths open so I get Morning Breath blasted at me from both angles, which is nice.
Do it with the dog on the bed…and the dog snores through your entire marital congress. Good.Times.
Do it with your kids pounding on the locked bedroom door. One using his hands and hammering away like its a chinese gong, the other laying on her back and using her feet while playing with dolls at the same time.
After awhile, not much phases you.
The Ujest Family Motto: Scarring Our Children & Pets One Day At A Time.
We made a nest of blankets for her next to our bed. We would put her to bed in her own bed in the evening, then around 3am, she would get up and come into her nest in our room and sleep there for the rest of the night, until she was more than 6yo.
We moved his crib earlier tonight. We were waiting until DrLoveGun’s days off in case Unfortunate Incidents were to occur. He was a bit curious and puzzled when he watched the crib being moved and when he was put to sleep, but he seems OK. So far, all there is are the the sounds of zzzzzzzzz.