My beloved Echo is now over 14 years old. She’s a pretty big dog and the vet told us when she was a pup that her life span was likely 7 to 9 years. So she’s had a good run. And now she’s almost completely blind, almost completely deaf and very, very anxious. We can no longer let her have the run of the house when we’re gone because she pees everywhere. We tried keeping her in the laundry room when we’re gone but she went so nuts that she chewed up the ironing board and all the bedding we gave her. All of it. Every time we put it in there. As well as her food dish and anything else within reach. The vet told us that she could really hurt herself if we didn’t contain her while we were gone. She’s now in a pen during the day but I can’t even put a cushion in there for her old bones because she chews it into little shreds. While we’re gone, I know she barks all day. When we’re home, she paces constantly. She’s confused, anxious and unhappy. After a serious, stroke-like episode this summer, the vet thinks she probably has some kind of a cancer somewhere. So here’s my question.
When do I end it for her? And I don’t even know how I would go about doing it. She’s the only dog I’ve ever had and she’s been my solace, companion, and friend. I can’t bear to see her so unhappy and frightened. But I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be so appreciated.
I’m so sorry. I’ve had to have a dog (15 yrs) and a cat (17 yrs) put to sleep this year and I know how difficult it is to make such a big decision. For me, it was about quality of life. When you say:
that says (to me) her quality of life may not be that good, and it may be better to let her go peacefully. For my animals that usually means when they stop eating. I don’t want to say it is time for your dog, that is a decision only you and your vet can make. Some vets will make house calls to euthanize a pet - you may want to check into that.
Our Newfoundland Angus has seemed to have one paw in the grave and one on a banana peel for the last few years, but he always seems to bounce back.
However, I agree with Boscibo- quality of life is the main concern. It sounds like you know it may be time. My vet will put a pet down at the office, or send a tech out to the house. We also have an “emergency vet” ambulance in the area who will make a house call if it’s urgent.
I will be making that call someday soon. I’m not looking forward to it, but I AM looking forward to doing the right thing by Angus one last time. It’s not about me being sad, it’s about him enjoying his time here. I’ll know by the look in his eyes, aside from any physical symptoms.
Part and parcel of being a grownup is having to make the tough calls. I am sorry. Give Echo a big slobbery kiss from Angus (and a big hug from me).
Since the OP is more of on opinion thread, let’s go to IMHO.
samclem GQ moderator
My husband and I had to make this very difficult decision a few months back for our very beloved Rottie, Amos. We did it when we knew his quality of life was not what he wanted it to be any more. We knew it was time because frankly, he told us so. He was tired, he could no longer chase balls and run around without pain, and he wanted to go with dignity and that’s what we wanted to.
On Monday, August 2, 2007, we gave him some high doses of pain medication so that he would feel decent all day, we threw his ball, we went for a drive and we did everything he loved to do. We then drove him to our vet, who is a wonderful man and very caring. He gave him a single shot and he went with his tennis ball in his mouth just the way he would have wanted. It was heart wrenching but relieving all at the same time.
I miss him all of the time but it had to be done and I’m glad that we had the years together that we did.
We were good to each other and I felt that I owed him that last favor of not keeping him alive and unhappy so that I wouldn’t be sad.
We just put one of our cats to sleep Wednesday.
Pearl was a stray that adopted us almost 6 years ago. She’s been with us through two moves, and we figure that she was about 18 years old.
She had been acting a little strange all week, not eating well, not drinking much, and Wednesday when I went to pick her up and put her in the litter box, her legs collapsed out from under her. She had also gone from 6 1/2 lbs to just under 3 lbs in 6 months.
I looked at Kathy, and said, “It’s time.” We both knew it and called a vet who helped Pearl over the final hurdle.
One of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
Whatever you and Echo decide is best, I wish you both peace. Sounds like it’s either time or close to it now, though.
Wow. I have been thinking of writing this very same OP. I have a 17 y.o. German Shepard who is in the exact same condition as your dog. We still leave him free to wonder around and he shits and pisses all over the place. We just clean it up constantly cause we don’t have the heart to restrict what little movement he has. We have even started using doggy diapers. Don’t ask.
I am wondering what to do when he finally dies. We live on a pretty large property out in the country so we think we will bury him here. But since it is the country I am a little worried about the possibility of some critters digging him up. Anyone know how deep is deep enough?
We just lost a great dog, our 15-year-old Cavalier, Bubba.
He had declined a lot in his last year, was unsteady on his feet, and had become incontinent (he’d been deaf for at least his last two years). He was also increasingly miserable like the dog in the OP.
After talking to the vet, we made the decision to have Bubba put to sleep. It was very hard for us, but also the right thing to do.
Best wishes to you, wonder9.
My parents just put their Bichon down today. He’s about 15 I think, been having hip problems for a few years, seems to have gone deaf a few months ago, though it seems more like selectively deaf. Lately he’s been acting very strange. For the past 15 years he’s slept in a crate at night. But for that past month or so he won’t stay in the crate at night. He runs around the house all night, wants to eat, wants to go out and keeps my parents up all night. From what they told me, both benadryl and klonapin (both Rx’d from the vet) got him even more wired. The vet told them that it’s possible his body is starting to shut down and that he’s getting confused. Apperantly last night was particularly bad. I think it was at the point where they could do it now with dignaty or they could keep him around for another year or so and been carrying him out to go to the bathroom.
Four feet is what I’ve always heard; but a 4-foot deep hole without a backhoe might be nearly impossible, depending on your ground conditions. You could also get your vet to do a cremation (it’s inexpensive), and bury the ashes, which would require a smaller hole and depth wouldn’t be an issue.
Be sure to check your local laws, though – around, here, I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to bury a pet on private property.
wonder9, I’m so sorry that you’re losing your friend. It sounds like it’s about time, unfortunately. It’s easy to let it go on too long, though, because dogs are such a part of the family and they love us so they’ll go on in pain because of that. I hope you’ll be able to make the choice before it does go on too long for Echo. It’s not a fun responsibility, but she depends on you to keep her from suffering.
A couple of feet is deep enough as long as you also put a lot of rocks over the grave. Nothing has ever tried to dig up our dogs or cats at that depth, though I suspect neither species is considered good eating by anything wild that lives around here.
Wonder9 …you and Echo are in my thoughts and suplications…
BoBettie I couldn’t have said it better…
askeptic… a deep hole and some very large rocks on top of the decedent … had to do it for my beloved Aiko
Peace and very kind regards,
daniel…aka.TSFR
I am have the same issue but I don’t think it is her time yet. Cassie is 16 and in all regards we are amazed she is still with us. She has arthritis and she is mostly deaf. You can tell it is a chore for her to go in and out. She no longer plays with any toys.
She is eating and drinking fine and even with the arthritis she gets around okay so she is not there yet but I excpect it to be in the next six months to a year that we will have to make that choice.
IMHO it may be time for your dog but only you can make that choice.
As far as cremation we had one dog cremated as she was hit by a car in the dead of winter. There was no way to bury her. At the time it was $100 to have her cremated and have the ashes returned but that was over ten years ago. She was a large dog being a German Shephard Husky Mix. I still have her ashes in the small canister they came in. It sits in my curio cabinet with a picture of her on top.
wonder9 I am so terribly sorry. It sounds like the time is fast approaching though.
I had my first dog Khasi for 23 years (shepherd husky mix) and towards the end, he was nearly blind, going deaf and had a hell of a time moving around. He wasn’t incontinent much, but when he was, it was a bad, bad thing. He was my childhood companion and my best friend until well into adulthood. He was my guardian and angel and putting him down was the hardest thing I have had to do in life to date. The sad fact is that I let him linger far too long out of my own need to have him there, in whatever form he took. I swore I would let him tell me when it was time, he did, and I refused to listen.
When we took him in, I was so torn up, I didn’t have the courage to be in the room when the vet did his duty, and I regret both things SO much.
I wish you peace in this difficult decision and hope that when Echo tells you it’s time, that you have the courage to listen.
Here too, but we did it anyway with Taj, my funky Doberman-Shepard mix. She was digging a hole in my mom’s rose garden one afternoon (expressly forbidden and she knew it!) and apparently, she had a heart attack and fell into the hole. :eek: A bit of levity in an otherwise very sad day.
Although we didn’t use the hole she had so helpfully started 
, we did bury her in the back yard. We cut a piece of sod out, then dug down about 3 feet. Note- you will need a bigger hole then you think. Buried her in her yard, with a tennis ball, a sock and some other fun stuff.
Illegal? Perhaps. Care? Not a bit.
wonder9, askeptic, SomeUserName, I am so sorry for all of you. I have had to make this decision and it is heart-wrenching.
I asked myself whether my pet was happy and had good quality of life. If not, it was time.
I hope you find peace once it is done. I did. The worst time was the time you are in now, the time of having to decide.
The time is now. Spend a day with her crying and holding and petting and giving her treats and making her feel as good as you can, and find a vet who will COME TO YOUR HOUSE. Then hold her and cry your heart out while you do the kindest, most loving thing you can do to thank your sweet friend for all she has done for you, and set her free from her miseries.
I feel you like you dont’ wanna know, truly.
Oh, and as for afterwards, I’ve found cremation to be a great answer. My dog Tucker died a few months ago (he wasn’t old, see the canine epilepsy thread. I cry for him almost daily…) and I wear a little keepsake vial around my neck that has some of his ashes and a pinch of his fur in it. It is my talisman.
Our 14 y/o border collie was put down about 3 months ago, and I blame myself for her last few months of suffering. I knew my wife couldn’t take her, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing our sweet girl. Looking back, it seems I was more concerned about our grief than her suffering.
She died in my lap at the vet’s office, and it was so quick and seemingly painless. I was, and still am, so grateful for that. But still, I cried like a girl for hours; sometimes I still do.
But hell, she was only a dog, right? Wrong. Fifteen years ago, my sister and I made the horrible yet necessary decision to remove our mom’s feeding tube when she went into a coma (inoperable pancreatic cancer). She left us those instructions long before she was even sick, but it didn’t make it any easier. The decision to let go of our collie wasn’t as hard as that, but still, she was a member of this family. Hard to put into words, but I’m sure many of you know what I mean.
There’s never a right time, it seems. You just have to do what you think is right for her, then spend your days second-guessing your choice. I hear it’s all part of life, but it sucks all the same.
Peace to you and Echo.
In my case I knew when it was time.
It was hard, damn hard. Bit it was the right thing to do. Don’t let your pet suffer.
I know just how big the hole in your heart will be. But you need to let your pet go when it is time.
I miss my dog.