My cat Albert has been depressed for over two years. Ever since my husband died, Albert has been clingy, withdrawn, angry, and obviously unhappy. He was definitely my husband’s cat. I was always a nice adjunct but never to top banana.
I moved across country a few weeks ago and hoped the change of scene would help him–and for a few days it seemed like it did. He was more alert seeming and less stressed.
But he’s back to his new normal, now. He won’t come out from behind the futon. He will urinate in the litterboxes, but defecates in one of his hidey holes–even after we put a litter box in there so he didn’t even have to come out.
He’s 14 and healthy as a horse. No issues at all with his bloodwork or exams. He hates medication and will go into deep hiding just from flea meds once a month, so daily pills are not the way to go (my vet agrees with this). He’s unhappy and I don’t know how to make him happy.
When would you put quality of life ahead of healthy life? How do you decide?
I wouldn’t criticize you for choosing to have the cat put down, given the circumstances specified. I definitely wouldn’t advise maintaining the status quo.
However, I’d consider taking the cat to a shelter, instead. For a 14 year old cat, it will probably be the same thing (and if they need to put him to sleep, they’ll do it humanely), but there’s at least a chance that Albert will find someone (human or feline) that he “clicks” with. Indoor cats can live into their 20’s these days, and he might have several happy years left, if he can figure out how to be happy.
That said, it’s not unheard of for pets to simply never get over the death of their owners.
I’d try medication first. Many medications can now be compounded into a tasty chewable* or a transdermal gel you put on their ear. Talk to your vet about it.
I get Prednisolone compounded for my asthmatic cat from Wedgewood Pharmacy in a chewable they call Gourmeds. She loves them. I just have to make sure no other cats are around when I give it to her.
If I were you I’d do it soon. At his age Albert probably won’t change. He’s had a long life, and now sounds desperately unhappy. Assuming your vet concurs, putting him to sleep sounds as if it would be the kindest option.
I had a cat put down when it was healthy. It was five years old and wouldn’t stop peeing in the hallway. He’d only started when he was about three years old. The other cat and he used to get along but RW developed a complex and couldn’t stand him. My vet checked him over for medical problems, I used all kind of cleaners in the hall, tried paying him extra attention, and nothing worked. After discussion with the vet, and figuring that nobody would adopt him, I had RW euthanized.
I quibble with the idea that a depressed person or animal is healthy. He sounds very mentally unhealthy. I also agree that it would be more humane to take him to a shelter than to put him down.
Maybe yours is a man-cat. Growing up we had one man-cat and one girl-cat. It just seems like the cats I’ve known have tended to bond better with people of one gender or the other. I don’t know why; maybe it’s the tone of voice, or imprinting, or something about how people smell to other species. Maybe your kitty could bond with another guy better. I wouldn’t go straight to putting him down, though.
He might like to have another feline friend. He probably won’t warm up to a new cat immediately…but having another cat around is usually good for cats. I’d look at older cats, at his age he might not appreciate a small kitten pouncing on him every time he takes a nap.
However, if you don’t want to take care of another cat, if you’re really not a cat person, then I’d take him to the Humane Society, along with a generous donation.
I don’t know, I agree with Lynn, except for the part about using the Humane Society as a fall back. Even though he’s depressed, you’re at least a familiar presence. Another cat may or may not help bring something out in him, but dropping him into an unfamiliar shelter and totally alien environment will make things worse for the poor guy. Cats are very person-centric, but just as much, and more so than dogs - become attached to their home. A change of scenery would terrify him.
My rescued cat, Cuervo is very attached to just me. While he was under quarantine here after I got him, he spent the first month of his life locked in a bathroom with me being his only visitor- feeding, playing, giving him medicine. Five and a half years later, he follows me around like a puppy, and won’t even let others pet him, my wife included. He has a younger playmate and the two of them get along great, but the wife says when ever I’m away for a day or night at a time, he walks around the house all day and sleeps by himself under the bed.
I made her promise that if anything sudden ever happened to me and he didn’t come around pretty quick, to just let him go.
My family thought it was funny that we always talk about my cat and my husband’s cat, not our cats, but that is exactly what they are - my cat will barely walk over my husband to get to me. I can see a cat who has lost their person being very unconsolable - they do indeed bond.
I dunno; that’s such a tough call. I don’t know if giving him to a shelter would be any better; he might find someone knew to bond with, or he might just have a terrible, traumatic time being in a shelter. Is there any chance Albert will bond with Asimovian if given a little more time?
Second the opinion that maybe he’s a man’s cat-- now, I’m not suggesting you get another partner to make the cat happy! But perhaps you have some male friends or relatives who might come over and spend some time, and see if he perks up a bit for them, in a familiar surrounding? And if so, then maybe he could go live with them if that’s how it has to be.
…and now on the list of things to have nightmares about, I’m adding “outliving my pets.” At least the ones we currently have aren’t single-person cats (though they do have favorites).
I agree with this - I had a senior kitty who was down - hubby and I went to the humane society and brought another senior kitty - it made a world of difference to both of them. Sometimes a bit of grandpa company makes all the difference.
I’m sorry you’re in this lousy situation. I agree that there may be some other things worth trying, but it’s your decision. Please, please don’t take him to the shelter, though. He’s already a stressed, unhappy cat, and the chances are very slim of an elderly cat with issues getting adopted when there are healthier, younger cats available. He will probably spend his last days in the shelter surrounded by strange cats and people, separated from the only person he knows and trusts even a little, only to eventually get euthanized, or, perhaps even worse for a misfit cat like him, live out the rest of his days in a shelter environment. Don’t get me wrong, they try their best to make things as bearable as possible, and some shelters do quite well by their cats, but a shelter is no place for a cranky old geezer cat to end his life if he doesn’t have to.
If you have reached the end of the road WRT new things to try, I would spoil the hell out of him for a couple days with whatever people food he likes and say goodbye at his own vet’s office.
I have two other cats, so it’s definitely not for lack of companionship of the feline sort. He pretty much hates the other two. He didn’t hate them until Steve died. Now he hates everything, basically.
He likes Asimovian and he loves when Asi holds him. The only time he’s content at all is when someone is holding him and, you know, that’s not really practical 24/7.
The animal is in emotional pain. She’s asking for help here, not whining about how this is inconveniencing her.
I second the suggestion of finding an antidepressant in a form he’ll take. It might be enough to break the cycle of anxiety and sadness. Maybe spending one weekend holding him 24/7 and see if that breaks the cycle? Our vet’s office has a vet that specializes in behavioral/emotional issues- does your vet have anything like that who you could ask for a consult?
