When Was The Last Time You Lied?

In My Humble Opinion
1

The last time for me was last Saturday night. I had a date with a new guy- it was our second, and we’d planned to go out to dinner and then back to my house to watch a movie. I have kids, but they are almost never here on Saturday night at all.

When we met for dinner, I told him that we couldn’t go back to my place because my kids were home, and of course I wasn’t ready for all that with him yet. It wasn’t true, my kids were gone and came home Sunday morning as usual.

Why did I lie? Am I not digging him? Yes, I am digging him. Very much. But I just wasn’t ready to be alone with him at my home. It was too much too soon. Not that I thought we’d do anything inappropriate, but I just wasn’t ready for alone time with him in my abode. And I didn’t want him to think that I was scared of him or didn’t really like him, because I do. (Squee!) So I lied to him.

Come on, now. When’s the last time YOU lied and why did you do it?

2

Wow… I dunno. Do smart-ass comments in MPSIMS count? How about telling the wife that I’m going to supermarket “A” but then I change my mind halfway there and go instead to supermarket “B”?

Besides that kind of thing… Hmm, I’m sure I lied to the last person that tried to talk to me about christianity.

3

Just a minute ago, when I told a schoolmate that I was sorry she flunked out of the program a second time. Because I’m not sorry. I’m glad. She keeps making excuses and blaming others for her bad performance, when in reality she’s a slacker who doesn’t put enough effort in. She’d be a horrible med tech and I’m glad she got kicked out.

But of course, I had to respond with “Really? That’s too bad” when she told me on MSN, because I just can’t be that mean. I’m such a liar!

4

I try not to lie very often because I’m terrible at it. Lights flash and sirens blare and a huge blinking sign with an arrow that reads “LIAR!” appears above my head.

So, yes, I clearly remember the last time I lied. It was when Hubby’s parents called last week. As I picked up the phone, Hubby pantomimed “I’m not home!” But it was too quick for me to manage to get into Semi-Competent Liar Mode. “Hello?”

“Hi, Lissa!” said Hubby’s dad and we exchanged a brief moment of pleasantries before he got down to it. “Is [Hubby’s name] home? I need to ask him something.”

My face instantly started to burn. “Uhh . . . uh, no. He . . . uh . . . he’s not. Um, he uh . . had to run to the store or something.” As soon as that “or something” slipped out, I slapped my forhead and quickly said: “*For *something. He had to run to the store for something. Yeah . . . uh . . . he’s not here.”

I swear to God, I *know *his dad was laughing at me on the other end, although there was polite silence. “Should he be back soon?”

Oh God, why would he ask such a difficult question? “I . . . well, . . .he, uh . . . *Milk! *He went to get milk! We were out and he went to get some!”

“When do you expect him back? Has he been gone long?” Damn his father’s coal-black heart. I know he was screwing with me!

“Cereal!” I blurted, having been thinking wildly of things I might need milk for at 9PM.

" . . . Okay. Have him call me when he gets back."

Oh God and Baby Jesus, now I’ve just comitted Hubby to calling him back tonight! "I will if he gets back, you know . . . at a reasonable time. . . . traffic. . . uhm . . .’’

“All righty then,” his father said cheerfully. “Tomorrow then?”

“Yes,” I said, relieved at the mercy. “I’ll have him call you tomorrow.”

5

“Um, I don’t know where the other three people went. Sorry, I don’t have my I.D. officer. Really, I didn’t think it was a problem - we just went into the stadium to get our ball, we didn’t think it was a problem. It was open.”

One criminal record later, I guess we got off lucky. Tonight was another great night trying to find fun at ol’ Georgia Tech’, I suppose.

6

Just have to say that I have a shared experience with you! In 1993 I spent 3 months in Auburn, and one night we wandered into the Georgia Tech stadium and played a quick game of football.

Unlike you, we didn’t get caught! Probably a good job, as I’d have been deported or something!?

And as for my last lie - it was to a colleague who asked me whether I found her annoying. I mean, you can’t just say that to someone who shares an office with you, can you?

7

I’m lying right now.

8

I honestly can’t recall. I don’t believe anyone who claims they never lie, we all do and sometimes it’s quite acceptable. I usually avoid answering, rather than tell a lie, but I’ve certainly lied at times.
I’ve known people who lie constantly and they are often irate if you call them on it. I think it becomes a habit for some, but I try to avoid people who do it.
I do find some irony here. I’ve led a somewhat adventurous life, mostly by design. When I relate some of my experiences, I sometimes get a skeptical response. I usually just drop it, because trying to convince someone of your veracity usually accomplishes the opposite.

9

I’m certain the last time I lied was yesterday, only because I haven’t spoken to anyone yet today.

We all lie every day. We say we’re fine when we’re not. We say there was traffic when we overslept. We say “That’s great!” when we mean “What on earth made *that * seem like a good idea?”

Lying about important things is bad. Lying to people who depend on you for the truth is bad. Habitual lying is bad, partly for the obvious ethical reasons, and partly because frankly it takes up too much brain space to remember the lies you’ve told. Habitual liars work harder than I ever want to.

But no one owes everyone who asks them a question the truth, either.

10

Major lie – don’t remember any recently.

Minor, social lie – well, as DianaG says, it’s not 7AM and I haven’t talked to anyone yet today. My comments to the cat this morning have been along the lines of “You’re my kitty cat!” and “Here’s breakfast,” neither of which seems too problematical.

11

I was in the same situation just a couple weeks ago. I’m taking a class and a friend was in it with me. She’s a bit of a slacker, too, and wasn’t keeping up with her studying and homework and ended up having to drop the class.
Part of me feels bad, but a bigger part of me just doesn’t care. She cried and whined and tried to blame everyone and everything else for her predicament, but she just couldn’t see that it was her own fault. I tried to sympathize and tell her she’d do better when she retakes it in the spring, but this little voice in my head kept saying, “Neener, neener, serves you right!”

12

Just the other day a coworker of mine who I hadn’t seen in a good while stopped by to chat.

Part of the conversation was about my love life. She asked: “So Shakes, you found you a woman yet?”

Me: “No, I’m still looking.”

Her: “Are YOU look’n? or are you letting the good Lord look for ya?”

Me: “Um uh, I reckon I leave it in the Lords hands.”

I just didn’t have the energy at the time to explain to her that I was an Atheist and NOT Evil incarnate.

I felt like such an ass for the remainder of the day.

13

Wait, so you have or you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?

I didn’t outright lie to my boss but I said yes about something I was only 75% sure of. I think she could tell by my sideways glance; I’m pretty sure I have a tell!

I’m very good at telling something that’s literally true but could be open to interpretation and I hope it’s interpreted some way other than the real truth. I guess that counts. :mad:

14

You should have told her that the Lord is very busy, and has other things to do than get you laid. :smiley:

15

I most frequently lie when I have to tell someone what I did over the weekend. There’s only so many times I can say, “Just hung around and did chores” before I feel like the most boringest person on the planet. So I’ll lie and say I went on a date or hosted a visiting relative or went to some fabulous street festival or concert. And I never feel bad because it’s not like it’s anyone’s business what I did anyway.

16

Last night when I told a pollster that I was too busy to talk to them for 5-10 minutes about state education issues. I should have just told her that it’s too goddamn soon after the election to be bothering people with crap like this.

17

[Slight Hijack Ahead}

I am compelled to link to Twains “My First Lie, and How I Got Out of It.”

A truly wonderful story, with an even better opening paragraph.

18

bus yesterday.

some guy came and sat down next to me and started being all icky and I lied through the whole conversation.

“so, you stay around here?”
“no.”
“huh. you going home from school?”
“no.”
“what’s the backpack for, then?”
“steaks.”
“huh?”
“it’s filled with steaks.”
“oh. where you headed?”
“to see my parole officer.”
“your parole officer huh? how old are you?”
“forty-six. I just look young.”
“what’d you do?”
“strangled a man on the bus.”
“huh. so whattaya reading?”
“romance novel.”
“you’re reading a romance novel called ‘postmortem’?”
“it’s an unconventional romance novel.”

and so on til I got off the bus.

19

SurrenderDorothy, that’s great.

The last time I lied was about two weeks ago. I had gone out on a date with a particular woman, and I was really interested in her. Unfortunately she had met someone else that she was more interested in, and told me so. I pretended to be much less disappointed than I actually was. Not actually a lie I guess, but certainly not what I was really feeling at the time. <shrug>

20

I’m kind of lying, in a sense, as I write this. My boss is under the assumption that I’m working.