Then there’s the reverse of this. I don’t care for a lot of the traditional sandwich toppings (peppers, onions, big slimy tomatoes, horseradish), and in some sandwich shops, each sandwich come with certain veggies automatically. So when I’m in an unfamiliar place, I ask what the extras are so I know what to ask them to leave off. Too often it goes like this:
Scarlett: What comes on the SuperSexy Sub?
Sandwich Geek: Oh, you know, everything.
Scarlett: Yes, but what exactly is “everything”?
SG: Oh, you know, onions, tomatoes, that kind of stuff.
Scarlett: So it comes with just onions and tomatoes? And no mayo or mustard?
SG: Well yeah, there’s mayo and mustard . . . (trails off) and peppers.
From the ‘sandwich artists’ point of view (yeah, right - I was an artist, making 150 subs in 1.5 hours at every lunch rush :rolleyes: ), some customers really are stupid, and the stupid ones spoil it for the rest of you. When some people order “everything”, they mean “everything except the things they don’t like”, which the peon is supposed to figure out using telepathy. This is apparently what you were supposed to use to figure out what kind of bread they wanted to start with (no sandwich ever gets started until you spit out what kind of bread you want. It’s like a law of physics; it cannot be repealed - it’s just the way it is.) And when I say some customers really are stupid, I mean it. I had a teenaged girl ask me one day how long a footlong sub is. Well, that would be twelve inches. Oh. Maybe she was confused by guys telling her what 8 inches is
It’s been some years since I’ve last been in a Subway, and so I don’t remember if the person who takes your order is the person who makes the sandwich. I hope that that is not the case, however, as then I would miss the opportunity to hear the following:
CUSTOMER: I want a 12" BMT on whole wheat.
CLERK: Yes, ma'am. What would you like on that?
CUSTOMER: Everything.
CLERK: Yes, ma'am. (Raises voice) Yo, Bob, gimme a 12" BMT on whole wheat with mayonnaise, mustard, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pickles, sweet peppers, hot peppers, pickled baby squid, goat paté, and fermented guava sauce.
CUSTOMER: I meant, everything exxcept those last three things.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Zappo *
**
[QUOTE
Y’see, in Philadelphia the really good sandwiches are called hoagies.
One gets a sub at 7-11, Subway, or the Navy Yard. And they taste the same at all three places.
Zappo
Native Philadelphian who is still pissed that there are no decent Italian rolls in Harrisburg **[/QUOTE]
I grew up 20 miles from Philly, I was translating for the Deleware valley impaired. I second the Italian roll sentiment, they can’t do it right in Pittsburgh. And they think a cheesesteak is a big burger with fries and coleslaw on it. shudder
I have been to Philly DOZENS of times. Many of these times, the natives I know take me out for “Philly Cheesesteaks”. I have never had a good one. I’ve been to every damn cheesesteak place in the city, and it’s always the same thing: Untoasted rolls with steak-ums and Cheese-Whiz. Is this what you call good? If so, I will make you a Baltimore style cheesesteak and knock your socks off.
ahem…
Yes, I’ll take a 6inch BMT on wheat with everything.
Yes, everything means with everything.
Yes, everything means I’d like lettuce, tomatoes, and everything.
Yes, everything means I’d like mustard and mayo
Yes, everything means I would like hot peppers.
Yes, everything means I’d like vinegar and oil.
Yes, everything means I’d like salt and pepper.
You may be on to something here. I love Subway, and go all the time when I’m away from Bmore (like here at school–it’s the closest edible food). At home, however, all the Subways are kinda skeezy. Also, I can get better food right nearby.
This is not limited to Subway. I work at a grocery store, and I’ve helped in the deli on occasion. At least twice a day, the exact same thing would happen.
Me: And what would you like on it?
Idiot Customer: Whatever.
Me: You get whatever you want.
IC: Well, whatever it comes with is fine.
It’s so fucking maddening. I don’t know how to make customers understand that YOU GET WHATEVER YOU WANT ON IT. ANYTHING ON THAT MAKE TABLE IN FRONT OF YOU IS YOURS. I can’t stand the deli.
I actually had a “sandwich artist” insist on doing this to me once. I ordered a foot-long BMT with extra cheese. When this part was assembled, I told them I would like lettuce, tomato, onion, and green pepper. I was immediately corrected: “That’s not how it works. I will list off the ingredients, and you will tell me if you want them.”
Gee, thanks for asking. I still wanted lettuce, tomato, onion, and green pepper; but it took twice as long, as I also had to say I didn’t want all the other toppings one at a time. :rolleyes:
Ok, sandwich artists of the world, answer me this…
When I order a sandwich, I get nothing on it but meat, cheese and lettuce. No sauces, no tomatos, no other salad, just the meat, cheese and lettuce. I get charged the same price as the person next to me who has their sandwich with meat, cheese, lettuce, onion, tomato, mayo, pickles, whatever. Yet, if I say “Can I have an extra slice of cheese?”, they charge me for it (usually 40 cents). Why do I not get a discount for all the toppings I’m leaving off, yet have to pay extra for an extra slice of cheese?
It bugs me! Why do I pay full price for a sandwich with half the toppings?
(I order like this because I have food allergies).
You should come to my Subway-absolutely dripping with lettuce and all that. Half of it falls out-but it’s quite enough even then! The ONLY time I would get annoyed was when I used to order steak and cheese, with onions-and they’d be like,-No mayo? No. No ketchup? No. No vinegar? No. Sure you wouldn’t like lettuce, maybe some tomato?
My new sandwhich:
Mmmmm…roast chicken, provolone cheese, Asiago Casesar sauce on wheat.
I was really bummmmed when Subway went to their new “cut.”
So, when visiting my local Church of Jared, I began to ask the Artists to please cut the bread the old way. That worked for a few weeks until one day the Artist told me he couldn’t cut it the old way because the bread had already been cut the new way. “OK,” I said, “just give me some different bread that hasn’t been cut yet.”
“It’s ALL been cut already.” WTF?
Does every Subway cut all their bread as soon as it comes out of the oven…? Why? Damn! It’s making this whole “new cut” thing even harder to handle.
As for the people mentioned in an earlier post that seem to WANT to be sheep…
You give your order to the person making your sandwich as they make it. You say I want a such and such on wheat and they grab the wheat bread and put such and such on it, then move to the condiments, and you tell them what you want as they assemble the sandwich. So the ordering process and the sandwich making process are sort of intertwined and interactive.
thanks for the welcome, AUGUST WEST. this is a big week for me at straightdope. CECIL PICKED MY QUESTION TO ANSWER THIS WEEK!!! I HAVE WOOD!!! please see the response to the column for an update on the birds… it’s a happy ending!
see you all at subway. i will be the guy ranting at the “artist”
At lunch they would, it’s too fucking busy to cut each loaf when the customer orders. The night shift then may use bread that the lunch shift already prepped.
And for you people that think the person making your sandwich is an idiot for asking twice if you want everything: work a week at a place like that. I guarantee at least 3 or 4 times an hour you have some fucktard tell you they want everything, then say “I didn’t want peppers” or some such crap. You don’t like it, fine. Don’t bitch at the person making your food, though ,when they make sure you are getting what you want.
Also, for fuck’s sake, Subway hasn’t refered to their employees as Sandwich Artists for 8 or 9 years. Christ, the shit that sticks in peoples memories…
