Gosh it hurts.
Even moreso than your parents. Your parents didn’t know your secrets. They didn’t go to school with you. They weren’t your teammates. They didn’t know who you were sleeping with or who you wanted to sleep with. But your best friend did.
RIP, DC
My sincerest condolences.
I’m not a big therapy guy but for this I make an exception. You really may need to go to grief counseling. I should have insisted my wife went long before she did. Her best friend died suddenly a little over 2 years ago and shes still not over it. She has triggers like certain dates or certain things she sees on TV that make her sad beyond repair for the rest of the day.
This is a dramatic thing to happen. Don’t try to deal with it alone.
RIP DC. And I’m so sorry, Lamar. A friend is hard to find and harder to lose.
Be gentle with yourself right now, but don’t avoid the memory. By definition, your best friend probably shared a lot of great moments with you. Revel in the memories - laugh as you share a wonderful story. If your grief cripples you, do seek support. But if it helps? Tell me your favorite memory.
Thanks, guys.
Worst weekend ever…
Don’t know what to say that would help. A friend of mine passed away last week. I am 1500 miles away and didn’t even know until last night.
Cherish your friend in your memories.
Take care.
So sorry for your loss.
I’m amazed at the kindness that is often expressed for one that loses a close relative, but seeming less kindness for those that lose a close friend.
I wish you all the best - and totally second the recomendation for grief counseling (I did group) if you think you need it.
People are often very kind and understanding for the first week or so, but then they forget (or think you don’t want/need to talk about it) and you are still hurting weeks/months/years later.
ETA: sorry for your loss as well Cabin Fever
Condolences. I lost one of my best friends a few years back. I will still be in situations and think that there was exactly one person in this world who would understand, get a kick out of, or laugh at my current predicament.
Sorry for your loss.
RIP, DC.
Sometimes, when a friend dies, you need to try to remember the good times you had together. One of my best friends died last year and sometimes, to get through bad moments, I’ll play music he loved.
He was the worlds biggest Kinks fan.
DC was so freaking smart. Other than that, we had little in common. He was black, I am white. We didn’t like the same music and had completely different tastes in women. Despite that, we were best friends. He played football and I played baseball.
He died in a plane crash, so it was so unexpected. He was still so young. It’s only been three days, but I miss him so much…
Damn…even worse that it was unexpected. So, so sorry for your loss.
I’ve been cross with my bff lately. I will make sure to forgive and forget.
This is something that people forget. The friends of the deceased. The family gets a lot of gentle handling, but friends usually get lost in the shuffle. For seniors it can be especially devastating, especially with life long friends. Their parents are gone, and sometimes their siblings. The children often cannot comprehend the depth of the connection people have to their old friends and think “Mom should just get over with it. She’s in her 80s, of course people are dying.”
I am sorry for your loss.
It’s devastating to lose a dear friend. A lifetime ago when I was 22 I had a wonderful friend I met in college. He died in the bathtub one Sunday. There are still things that spark my memory of him that bring me to tears.
I’m so, so sorry you lost DC.
I’m so incredibly sorry, Lamar. I can’t imagine the depth of pain you must be going through and I sincerely hope you do whatever is necessary to help you cope with your loss. As others have said, there does seem to be little support for friends in your position and there really ought to be. I also can’t recommend grief counseling enough. It’s just really comforting to know you’re not alone. Please be kind to yourself and remember, we’re always here to listen. Many prayers to you.
Most heartfelt condolences on the loss of your friend.
As an only child, my friends were few and very important to me. I lost one of my 2 childhood besties when she was only 28, from a brain aneurysm. It was so sudden, so unexpected, that I still don’t think I’ve totally gotten over it 30 years later. Thankfully, my remaining bestie and I still had each other to help get through it, but it’s a unique and terrible pain.
I also endorse the recommendation to talk a bit with a counselor or pastor. We are expected to grieve our family members, but not everyone understands that we also need to grieve our friends. Sometimes even more so than some of our family members.
May you find strength to get through this time.
I’m so very sorry.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your friend, the family, and of course, you are in my thoughts and prayers. One of my best friends is probably not going to last the night. Family has been called in as he takes his final breaths. I am so glad I had the opportunity to go see him earlier today. Even though he was not real responsive, he did say my name and told me he loved me. I also got the chance to say we’ve had a good long run and have had some wild adventures and I expect to do it all again on the other side which brought a little smile to his lips.
If you feel you need it, I too strongly encourage grief counseling. Losing a best friend suddenly is really a huge loss. Do what you need to do to grieve.
Peace be with you.
Thank you all. I really do appreciate the support
That’s something I’ve never been through and selfishly hope I never do. I’m so sorry.
I almost envy the way you cared about your friend. I lost my best friend about 10 years ago and it didn’t have much effect on my beyond some sadness. I guess watching him slowly killing himself over the past 40 years made it a bit easier to accept. On the other hand an old man I used to meet up with for late night scrabble and good conversation passed a few years ago and I still find myself thinking of him and missing him. I tend to think our grief is more in relation to the impact someone has on our lives.
A friend of mine died too young a year ago (cancer). Her Facebook page is still active. I still see her face almost every day and it’s inconceivable to me that someone so alive and effervescent is not actually still here. I still expect to see her any day and catch up on things. I still grieve.
I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a close friend is hard. Take care.