I have this “friend” named “Josh” (not real name). I am a gay man, just so you know.
I met Josh a little over a month ago at a support group. Josh and me hit it off in a non sexual way, really just friends.
Over about a million texts I learned Josh has “issues”. Two eating disorders when younger, depression, etc. He also obsessively exercises and fasts for days at a time. He also declared himself to be hypersexual, which became a problem.
We sent one or two dirty texts which ended when he sent a dick pic. I declined and, I thought, that was over.
Cue one late night text conversation that I ended when he got “hot and bothered” to the extent it was scary, and he sent another dick pic.
The last time we talked, I got this “run, run, run away!” feeling and couldn’t bare to be around him. I honestly felt sick to be near him. He is outwardly kind, caring, etc but I feeling like a zebra near a lion every time I’m around him.
I’ve stopped texting with him, but am now getting “r y okay?”, etc texts. Nothing threatening.
How the heck to I end this with looking like a jerk? His friend sing his praises, by I’m skeeved out beyond belief.
“Hey man, I need some time to myself and can’t text anymore” and then you block his number and social media accounts.
You don’t need to tell him why (in fact, telling him why will probably cause you to have an argument that won’t go anywhere). Just block him and move on with life.
People worry too much about being a jerk and not enough about having their boundaries accepted.
Run like hell itself is behind you. Sever all contact, even if that means leaving the group. Do not ever allow him to approach you or be alone with you. If he tries, take legal measures.
If you ignore the advice you’re getting in this thread, things will end badly, mostly for you.
It is only a matter of course that people who want you to be with them or act a certain way call you a ‘jerk’ (or worse) when you don’t do what they want. That is part of the psychological manipulation.
Don’t worry what he, or his friends, say. They’re trying to guilt you into going back.
You won’t look like a jerk. Get a whole lot of gone between you and him. And it probably wouldn’t hurt to get some between you and his friends as well.
It boggles my mind that some guys think sending (unsolicited) dick pics is acceptable behavior?? Creepy. I’m sorry you have to deal with it, Brodi. I hope you can use some of the good advice you’ve gotten here.
I don’t really know any of his friends, just met one at an event.
I’ve blocked him both on my phone and FB, so there is no way he can reach me. What also helps is that he lives a great distance from me, so no reason to just “bump” into him.
The dick pics I think was his way to show how much he needed to screw, prior to the first pic he lamented his long “dry spell”. He also kept going on about how he had to have an “emotional bond” with someone, male or female, before he could have sex with them.
This was all a sort of “build up”. At first all was fine, no warning bells, but then he started “reassuring me” that he would never think of hurting me, etc and at one point (I’m asexual, nothing goes in and I don’t put anything in anyone’s body) he graphicly hinted via text (“maybe just bend over”) that I should just “try it”. I told him hell no and he if he tried anything he’d get hurt. He then went all defensive, but stopped for several weeks.
He also called me “Hon” in his texts, no clue what that was about, we def weren’t together.
