I think it’s more of a method to push responsibility onto the target, rather than asking, and having them just decline.
If that person says “I’d like you to do X”, then there’s more room for interpretation. You might think “Great that you’d like that. I don’t.” and just ignore them. But if they say “I need you to do X”, then your choices are more constrained- do it, or don’t, and have to explain why. And if someone else comes along and this person is peeved that you said no, then the onus is on you to explain why you didn’t, while if they just asked, it’s not really as on your shoulders.
I know I’m not articulating this terribly well… but by issuing it in an unambiguous command, it pushes responsibility onto the recipient of the command, while a request doesn’t attempt to assign responsibility and ownership.
I’m not saying they’re all fake, but karma farming is a big problem on reddit. Both people who just want acknowledgment, as well as people who intend to seed their account with karma so they can later build or sell it to an adbot.
Yeah. I finished college, and my parents are dead, so basically, the only people allowed to say “You need to…” to me are my boss and my doctor. Fortunately, I work for a boss who doesn’t talk like that. If I did, I’d probably be working on my resume. Sometimes my boss does say “I need for you to do X as soon as you get a chance,” or sometimes will tell the whole group we need something, but then she will usually be repeating some sort of OSHA regulation: “Everyone needs to renew CPR this year, even if you renewed last year.”
My doctor is pretty cool too; “you need to” is usually in the context of “you need to take this antibiotic on an empty stomach.” Not “you need to make massive lifestyle changes.”
I might tell my husband I need him to do something, but it’s in the context of household tasks or administrative chores that I truly do need help with, and he knows it. I wouldn’t do that to anyone else. Just not appropriate. I’ll tolerate “I need you to…” from a supervisor if what they state they need is reasonable, but it grates when a caller does it. Saying “I need X” is fine and great, I appreciate you getting to the point, but a condescending edict from on high doesn’t sit well.
Yeah, one thing I learned from raising kids is that bad behaviour doesn’t get me to give you what you want. In fact in my IT service role I will sometimes set aside the topic of discussion/request to address behaviour - if the customer is being rudely aggressive, we will not talk about what they actually want - it’s strictly off the table until we have completely discussed and resolved the matter of their aggression and rudeness
Also in an IT service role, at one of the mega-law firms (~2,500 lawyers). And believe me, lawyers can be the rudest and pushiest people on the planet, so we sometimes have to do the same thing.
We have to. If we reward aggressive rudeness, we’re encouraging it. Bad policy.
Beggars can’t be choosers. But some beggars think they can choose. Like if you post on a free stuff Facebook group asking for a free phone, and someone offers you a free phone that was state of the art 3 years ago, a CB rejects it because it’s not a free iPhone XVI.
I wrote a rather demanding customer-service-request email just the other day. Here is the money quote: “I write to give you the opportunity to either send the missing part, or issue a refund. Your choice; either act will earn you a positive review. That’s fair, right?”
Not quite “You need to”, but pretty close, I suppose. (‘You need to if you want X to happen.’) I think I might have been too demanding, though - he’s giving me both the replacement part and a refund. I’m not sure how I should feel about that; I can only give him one positive review, after all.
1980s. Walking behind my younger sister, she with her 3-4 or maybe 5 yr old daughter. Daughter says, “But Mommy, I NEED a piece of candy!” First time I ever heard it in quite that way.
Another common one is when artists sell their work online, it goes something like this:
CB: I think these are so nice. Can you make two for me - one in pink and one in blue?
Artist: Thanks! Sure - I can have these done by Thursday; they will be $25 each in the larger size, or I could do the pair for $30 in the smaller size
CB: WHAT!? You want me to pay you?
Artist: Yes… this is my business making and selling these items
CB: That’s outrageous! I could make these myself for a quarter of that price
Artist: OK
CB: So are you going to give them for me for free?
Artist: No. I thought you said you were going to make your own
CB: I don’t have time to do that! You need to give me these for free, or I am reporting you!
Artist: I’m sorry - I am charging only a little more than it costs me in materials. I can’t give these to you for free.
CB: Fine. I don’t want them. Your art is horrible anyway. I hope you die.
I have a three-year-old and a six-year-old. I can tell you from experience that, for the really little kids, the whole world is wrapped up in one little thing. The desire for something can be overwhelming. They really do believe they *need *that piece of candy. Or to hear “Let it Go” one more time. Or whatever it is.
This twitter feed https://twitter.com/forexposure_txt/ has as many examples of people demanding free products and services as you could possibly want (note: for neatness-sake, stop reading before rage causes your brain to explode).
A lot of that is the ‘influencer’ culture - folks get a few followers on some social media platform and think it suddenly means the whole world owes them a free something. I despise it.
You forgot the racist and/or homophobic slurs at the end.
It’s also fun when a digital art sample is sent for approval and the CB wants the watermark removed before paying the agreed upon price of $5. I know a lot of them are fake but some aren’t and it’s an entertaining sub.