Why are children asking me for money?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I work at a dollar store. In front of my register is the mandatory gumball machine. This one has gumballs, bouncy balls, stickers, temporary tattoos…something for everyone. :rolleyes:

A large amount of children ask me, “Do you have any money?” “Can I have some quarters?” Some of them ask their parent(s) first, some of them go straight to me. The parents almost never say anything to them about this! (Half of them are too busy talking on their cell phones to pay attention to their children.)

After I say, “I’m sorry, honey, but I didn’t bring any money to work with me,” then the parents might tell them not to ask me for money, but it is always after I answer. (Maybe it’s happening in the car? Please tell me it’s happening in the car…) Worse, some of the parents look at me as if I am expected to dole out money to their children.

The little ones I don’t mind. I can understand it. They have just watched the people in front of them give me money. Their parent is going to give me money. They probably think the money is mine, and if I collect enough money, maybe I have some to spare. The older ones, I don’t understand. I’ve had kids as old as maybe 11-12 years old ask this.

My mother was a fairly strict one; “there are rules about how you act in public, and how you act is a reflection on me.” I shudder to imagine how she would have reacted to me asking a stranger for money. :eek:
A grandmother once reacted much the way my mother would have. Often, the customer behind them will ask me, shocked, if “that child” just asked me for money. I’ve been working it into the conversation, asking them if they have children, and they always respond, yes, but mine are grown.
Is this a new “thing?” Is it now the norm for kids to ask strangers for money? Younger parents, is this ok?

How would your parents have reacted to this? How would you react if your children did this? (If you don’t mind stating an age, or age range for that matter, that would help.)

:mad: And… Get off my lawn!! :stuck_out_tongue:

2

A few times kids have asked me for money, always for some treat. I’ve said no, but I’ve always been startled that they would talk to a stranger.

3

I can’t say that children have ever asked me for money! Good heavens. I can’t imagine the kind of scolding I would have gotten if my mother ever found out I was asking strangers for money and it wasn’t a dire need.

I have asked strangers for money twice in my life. Once I got my wallet stolen and needed to cross a bridge that had a 75 cent toll. And once I was stranded in Indira Gandhi airport and had money but not the rupee coins the pay phone needed (before cellphones!)

Neither time was I a child.

4

Why are you behaving as if you’d fulfill their request if only you could?

No need to be sharp or rude, but a simple “that’s something to buy with your own money” and “maybe next time you’re here you’ll bring some” after they say they don’t have any.

Today’s parents think it’s okay to demand money in their wedding invitations, for people to pay for their vacations via crowdbegging sites like GoFundMe, and to apply for public assistance they do not actually need, so it doesn’t surprise me that they are unconcerned about their kids asking strangers for quarters.

5

Could be worse. They could be asking you for cigarettes.

6

To my way of thinking, this is suggesting that you’d give it to them if only you’d brought it, and that some other day you might bring money to work with you, so they should ask every time they see you in the hope that it will be their lucky day.

I’d say “I’m sorry, honey, but you need to get your own money for that.”

And I, as an official old fart, am flabbergasted that this goes on and that parents don’t jump on it instantly. Seriously. Are these people training their kids to be street beggars?

On preview, what AnaMen said.

7

I’m going to get ready for work now. I’ll try this new approach today, and see how it goes. I’m working a ten hour shift, so I’ll probably have the opportunity to say it about five times. :frowning:

8

I agree. Just politely say “No, I don’t,” or “No, dear” if that’s your style.

Don’t give others the power to make you lie, even if it’s a silly little one like that. You’re not beholden to them for an excuse any more than you are the money. Better for you, better for them.

Of course, I’d say “Get a job!” That’s my style. :wink:

9

Psh…by the time they’re old enough to ask for cigarettes, they’re using their own quarters to buy pregnancy tests. :smack:

10

I could offer several crackpot theories, which I’m not sure I believe myself. The one I’m most enamored of at the moment is that, nowadays, kids have to sell so much stuff for school, Scouts, etc., which essentially requires them to go around asking strangers for money, that they have been conditioned to see this as normal, acceptable behavior.

11

I just give em the quarter then tell them which van in the parking lot is mine.

Free enterprise beyotches!

12

I’ve had it happen only a few times in stores and they were typically (from my observation) kids from families from the deep underclass. The simple impression I got is that kids (rich or poor) will naturally beg for treats if they can get away with it and these kids had never been socialized that public begging in this fashion was shameful or impolite. I assume that this begging must work after a fashion in their neighborhoods with random adults.

If these kids live in poverty and are on the streets a lot maybe this begging strangers is the way they get by.

13

That may be the most brilliant theory I’ve heard on the interwebs today.

14

Slight hijack.

A couple of months back my wife and I were on an early morning flight (7am departure). The flight attendant announced they would shortly begin beverage service. A young female sitting next to us muttered should could use a drink but didn’t have any money. We politely declined to pay for it. Shortly thereafter the restroom opened up and my wife left her seat to use it. The flight attendant came by again asking for alcohol orders. The female magically produced a credit card to pay for her drink. When my wife returned from the restroom she was quite surprised to see the FA drop off the (now paid) drink to the female sitting next to my wife. I apprised my wife of what had happened while she was gone.

The female was easily in her early 20s. She was dressed in the “Oh-I’m-so-poor-someone-else-bought-me-this-plane-ticket,” outfit. There were other visual and behavioral indications she was a member of the pity party.

This person was not the first of many of her age we’ve seen lately gaming people for money. Perhaps it’s a self-entitlement thing.

15

I remember, a long time ago, some place having tokens they could/would give to children who could use them in a gumball or sticker machines as treats. Perhaps you have one of these places near where you work?

16

They probably get it sometimes. And they probably have parents who don’t mind/think that’s fine/whatever.

That’s something that’s become very obvious and prominent in my life recently: people who ask for things often get them, even if it’s inappropriate to ask. People who throw fits get their way. People who act entitled get what they want. You might never give money to a random kid but the next cashier or customer or whatever might.

Even with the gofundme things. You put one up, say, to fund your honeymoon. It’s tacky. Your friends might think it’s tacky. You probably won’t get the $10,000 you’re asking for. But lots of people don’t care about being tacky and they might only get a fraction of what they’re hoping for, but that’s way more than they’d get if they never asked.

17

Maybe the kids think a "Dollar store’ give people money ??

18

Surely I’m not the only one who noticed: This is the most appropriate username/post title ever!

19

I think it goes beyond this and into entitlement. More and more people today seems to think they are automatically entitled to anything that anyone else gets to do. I see sports teams standing at intersections literally begging for money to go to this-or-that tournament. In my youth we sold raffle tickets or advertising space in the rec department newsletter or held a car wash/bake sale or somesuch - something to make us work for and think we were earning the money. The afore mentioned GoFundMe spiels for trips, honeymoons, etc. is just a technological twist on streetcorner begging, only less honorable (IMHO) because you don’t even have to look the “mark” in the eye. And yes, I have recently had children unknown to me ask for money for the gum ball/treat machine.

I’m a fairly generous guy. I’ll buy those raffle tickets for crap I hope I don’t win. I’ll have my car washed even though it doesn’t need it. I’ll buy your homemade cookies in the zip lock baggie, then throw them away at home because I have no idea of the sanitation (or lack thereof) in your baking and packaging process. I’ll buy you a meal if you’re hungry. I’ll buy your Girl Scout cookies (that’s different, though. I loves me some GS cookies!). But I’ll be damned if I’m going to reinforce the entitlement culture by giving you money for nothing to fund your fantasies.

ETA: Phenomenal user name/post combo!

20

It’s times like that when I wish I had some Jack Chick tracts handy. Maybe the one about C’thulhu.