Where did my lube go? (need answer fast-ish)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

In the grand tradition of such threads as What happened to my banana?, I, an oft-confused Doper, am appealing to the SDMB in the hopes of finding what happened to another wayward object, this time a small bottle of Astroglide.

I know I had it in my room; the question is where it is now. I’ve looked and looked – it’s not on my shelves. It’s not under my bed. I even checked in my bathroom cabinet, just in case. It’s imperative that I find it, because it’s been missing for several days, and my boyfriend is coming over Thursday night, and um, well.

Any ideas?!

2

Sorry, I pocketed it because I am ashamed to buy my own. :o

3

Look in places the bottle couldn’t possibly fit.

4

Did you try under the dresser? That’s where mine used to end up.

5

Remember, you were using it with Bob (your battery operated boyfriend) on the dining room table. Check under the credenza.

6

Buy another bottle.

7

I left mine in the living room by accident once. It was in a clear pump bottle with no labeling.

Roommate: What’s this?
Me: Uh . . . . . it’s just hair gel.
Roommate: Really? Smells nice."

<later>

RM: That hair gel you bought doesn’t work very well.
Me: What? What hair gel?
RM: The stuff in the living room. I tried some of it and it just makes your hair sticky without doing anything.
Me: . . . . yeah, I know. I’ll have to try something new next time.

I almost died.

8

Why did I suddenly think of this ad?

9

I am afraid your lube was so slick that it slipped itself right out of existence. This happens sometimes.

10

Where does it usually go?

11

It’s tangled in the sheets. I think you need to start doing a better job of making your bed young lady.

12

Just look at it as an opportunity to try something different.

13

It was mistaken for lube jelly and sent back to Triad as part of their recall. It was bad for you, anyway. :smiley:

14

Check near that wheel that used to squeak.

15

It’s at my place. Drop by anytime, and I’ll give it to you.

16

Baby, baby
Where did our lube go?
Oh, don’t you leave me
Don’t you leave me no more
I’ve got this burning, yearning yearning feeling inside me
Oh, deep inside me
And it hurts so bad

17

You know the nearer your destination, the more you slip sliding away.

18

What about the lube?

19

Your teenage son snagged it.

It’s tangled up in the sheets.

It’s under the nightstand.

It’s way, way under the bed.

The cat ate it.

(Pick one.)

20

Between the bed and the wall is always a good place to look.