I’ve never found lost socks. I figure some kind of time/space portal opens up in my washer or dryer, and my missing socks are being worshipped as Gods by either the Sleestak or Pakuni.
They go to the Rainbow Sock Bridge where someday, if they’re lucky, they will be reunited with their mates.
This. I’m irritated that the socks I buy at Costco come in TWO colors, so I have to pull three at a time to be sure I have a pair. Then I have an orphan, which I have to put in the laundry per some of you 
I suppose if I were Howard Hughes I’d just throw out the color I like less. Of course, if I were Howard Hughes I’d only wear them once anyway!
Proving how these things can hide: my wife bought wool “dryer balls”. These are softball-sized wool spheres that allegedly help drying, I believe by providing a bit more friction so clothes “churn” more. I haven’t seen a dramatic change but am willing to use them, as they seem harmless at worst. I’ve lost one of THOSE a few times, finding it later in the corner of a fitted sheet or pile of socks. First time one disappeared I thought I was going nuts–how could something that big (and not flat) vanish?!
The missing partner was obviously a victim of sex trafficking. Particular care must be taken to cleanse this victim of wanton sexual assault.
Too woo for me. I’ll stick with science.
So your socks wear out stochastically, only statistically tending to wear out evenly in the long run. That’s too random and chaotic for my Aspergic tendencies.
The Eater of Socks looked up at the wizards, cautiously. Then its jaws started to work again.
…grnf, grnf…
“Here, that’s one of mine!” said the Chair of Indefinite Studies, making a grab. The Eater of Socks backed away hurriedly.
It looked like a very small elephant with a very wide, flared trunk, up which one of the Chair’s socks was disappearing.
From Hogfather (Discworld).
I thought they turned into wire hangers?
An orphaned sock usually goes on one of the shelves above the dresser, but might get put in the designated drawer if I clean before the wayward sock returns.
I prefer to have each pair of socks to be different from the others. If I had multiple pairs of similar socks I would then try to match the wear patterns, and that would take more time than pairing socks.
Yesterday I had to put a pair of socks in the trash because they no longer had any fuzziness at the back of the heel. I want to buy replacements, but I already have too many pairs of socks.
I start by sorting the different types of socks. Rarely more than 2 or 3 types.
Then, within each type, I do match “new, fluffy” socks together, and “old thin” socks. I don’t obsess about it, and i think it takes less time than sorting by pattern would. But now you have me wondering.
An even easier method is to simply wear different colored socks and don’t worry about matching pairs.
One day I may wear a blue sock on one foot and a red sock on the other foot. Another day I may wear a black sock on one foot and no sock on the other foot. Yet another day I may wear no socks at all.
I work from home. I don’t worry about my appearance anymore. When I go out I wear a covid mask, so nobody can identify me as the weird sock guy.
Did you ever stop to think that the sock was running away and didn’t want to be put back with that darn mate?
Back when I cared, I adopted the policy of only owning one kind & color of socks. I toss out socks as they develop holes. Thus, I would not have “saved” the mate until the errant sock reappeared. I probably would not have missed it.
The lone sock goes in the back of the sock drawer, the next time I have a lone sock it gets paired with any lone sock left from another laundry run. Easy peasy.
Although lately, I no longer pair them, so no, I would never miss it.
Tibby, they just ID you as “the weird sock guy” now. If/when the masks come off, you will still be “the weird sock guy” they will be able to connect a face to you then. I suggest you just keep on not caring. It is much easier.
Or, I can just continue to wear a mask forever.
It’s looking like that will, in fact, be the case.
You do know you’re not supposed to sleep with the crazy ones, right? Okay, maybe just one time.
That’s what all the sock-splitters say.
I’m trying to decide if I should congratulate you on your system, or back slowly away and then run.
Like you’re not being tracked just like the rest of us that were vaccinated. Mismatched socks protect against something completely different.
Like others here, I only have one type and color of sock. Black, and the kind of socks that just cover the foot, none of the ankle. Sockettes? Semi-socks? They all just get dumped in a drawer, I would never know if one went missing.
I get dismissed every time I mention this, but I have never lost a sock because I pin my socks together. I keep a little box of safety pins on my bedside table. When I remove my socks at night, I grab a pin, pin the pair together and toss it in the laundry basket. When they come out of the wash, they go in the drawer still pinned together. The only time they are ever unpinned is when I am wearing them.
In spite of people constantly complaining about the lost sock problem, I have never convinced a single other person to try my method. Anyway, for less than $1.00 it’s possible to never lose a sock again.
Wrong. For less than $1.00 you have made it possible to only lose socks in pairs.
Wrong. You don’t understand the fundamental property of socks. They only disappear individually. Once they are yoked together, they remain visible in this universe.
Since I track my outfits and know exactly how many pairs go into the laundry each week, I know that since I began pinning them many, many years ago, I have never lost a sock!
EDIT: Can someone explain why my quote didn’t work properly?
Upd by Puzzlegal: fixed.