I wanted to bitch about bars in the PUA thread but in the interest of being honest with myself I want to poll and get some feedback here. So, in what general environment have you met S.O.s?
Making the poll multiple choice because most people here are old enough to have had at least a couple serious relationships. Only you can judge whether your fling was serious or not. For example, I will answer for relationships longer than three months.
I kind of rushed that OP out. Doesn’t matter if you started dating immediately. Not interested in people who you met and had casual sex with and nothing more. It’s already established that that is possible.
The reason I’m asking is, I was going to gripe about how awful bars are, but if it turns out the rest of you are meeting wonderful people in them, maybe it’s me who’s doing it wrong.
High school, college, college, that one time at summer camp, okay, two times, brass quintet, SCA, SCA, SCA.
First three were at work, then I got old enough to go to clubs and since then, while I’ve dated men I met at school, work, online, and through friends…all the serious relationships I’ve had were with guys I met at clubs. But I met them all years ago, I tend to recycle.
hm, now that I’ve been clever enough to read the OP, take out high school & one of the trips to camp and add D&D.
I put “online dating” but that’s not exactly accurate. I met one via an online chat site (a MUD-style talker, for those of you old enough to remember such things) and one I met on a message board. Not this one. Similar, though.
A 2009 craigslist personal ad I posted.
My future wife and I were graduate students at the University of Hawaii.
I’ve only dated three people. First was a co-worker (lasted a month, no hard feelings). 2nd, I moved into the same apartment building and we had some mutual acquaintances which led to us hanging out together (but I didn’t meet him until the week I moved in, so I’d count it as ‘other’ - if we hadn’t been in such proximity we’d never have met). 3rd and most recent I originally met as a customer, I worked with some of his school friends. Then later he ended up working with me at that job for a few months, then he moved away and we stayed in sporadic touch, mostly as Facebook friends. 3 years after first meeting him, we reconnected (both of us now single) and ended up dating. ‘Other’? I know him a lot of ways. We also ended up working for the same company, at different locations, and getting to know a bunch of the same people, in the year before we ended up dating. Haha. I used him as my reference to get hired.
My wife and I of 30 years met in a record store.
We’d arranged to meet there after we talked on the phone, after she had written me a letter, after I had put an ad in the local music paper. But it wasn’t a personal ad, but about music. So only the record store counts.
Previously, I had met women in a theater, on a bus, at a different theater, outside the first theater…which was a block from the record store.
I had a high school relationship that lasted for several years, a 5 month or so relationship in college, then I dated co-workers, met my ex husband at church, and my current husband on Craigslist.
High school GF? Band Camp!
My wife? Camping out for Springsteen tickets in front of Turtles Records at Ponce and N. Highland!
November of 19 and 84. Been together ever since.
High school, friend of friend, customer at work, college (a bunch in college, all other theater rats; theater students are incestuous little drama queens), one coworker (bad idea for all the usual HR handout kind of reasons).
My first husband I met at Neo, a nightclub in Chicago. It was your classic Old Hollywood meeting, where the crowd parted and a spotlight landed on me while I was at the top of the steps and our eyes met across the room…
My current husband and I met at a campground during a neopagan festival. He was a local paramedic running the first aid shack and I needed a place with electricity to plug in my breast pump. True story. He claims it was love at first sight, but he’s a silly romantic. We were just friends for several years before he made a move on me. I turned him down flat. Thankfully, he tried again the following year…
If you want my advice (which you probably don’t) it’s to just go about your life and don’t hide in your living room. I never met a single person worth keeping when I was actually looking. Every one that was actually worth something just happened while I was busy living my own life.
On the internet, but not a dating site, so I chose Other.
I voted other, but it was college just not in a class.
My husband was an RA on my dorm floor freshman year of college. I met him at the end of August, 1980. By November we were going out, we married in 1991.
I did have High School dates, but nothing really serious.
I met my husband at college, but we never had any classes together. IIRC, we met in the main plaza of the student union on a day I was tabling for an organization and he came up while wearing a really interesting coat. It certainly was a lot easier to meet folks in college that were good people than it can be once you’re out in the working world. However, it’s possible to find datable folks at any life stage; it’s just harder, IMO, the older you get.
I dated a couple of guys in high school that I met in out-of-school activities, but much like saje, it was generally nothing super serious.
I met my husband at a bar - but more specifically, at a Dopefest in a bar.
The boyfriend before that I met at a party, and the one before that through an online dating site. The two before that I met through work (part-time jobs whilst at uni), and the two before that I met in bars. So I guess bars just about have the edge!
Current (and hopefully last, as she is my wife) is online dating, but the past include both work categories, college, and friends of friends. Never met an SO at a bar; never tried to. ETA: Oh, I guess I should add “friends of family,” too, as my cousin introduced me to someone, too, in high school
I was “fixed up” with the niece of a friend of my mother’s. We’ve been married now for nearly 49 years.
My first serious girl friend was a friend of a friend. My second was a student in the calculus course I was teaching.
My current SO and I met at a party the first night we both arrived at college. I didn’t vote ‘college class’ because we didn’t have a class together for another 3 years.