I thought I had told this story before, but I couldn’t find it on the link provided so it might have been on another thread or someplace else. Who knows?
I had taken a job as an English teacher at a relatively large high school in Western Kansas (about 1,400 students which is large for Western Kansas) and somehow I became the head of the department after a couple of years. I had gone up to the school early in August one year to make sure all my teachers had enoung supplies, instructions and support when they came in to set up in the following couple of weeks. I should point out that I had just gotten back from a four-week canoe trip down the Arkansas River (doing a story for a magazine) so my hair and beard were very scaggly. In addition, I was in an old work shirt and old work pants (afterall I was up there to do grunt work - moving books into rooms and setting up work rooms for my teachers and cleaning out closets).
The school had hired three new English teachers over the summer and two of them I had missed the interviews on so I didn’t know them, but I decided to move their books into their rooms just to help out. I was schleping a load of books down to one of the new teacher’s rooms when I found her in. She was an attractive young thing.
She introduced herself to me, and I said my first name and was about to tell her my last and tell her that I was her department head, when she started telling me to move the desks around, then to help her set up this or that display, to help her move this or that and finally to take a table out and “put it whereever they are supposed to be”.
After about an hour of this (it was clear she thought I was the janitor), she slipped me $5 and asked me if I could think of anything else she should do get officially set up for her first day of school as a teacher. I suggested that she might check in with her department head. She thought it was a good suggestion. I told her I thought I had seen him down at his classroom earlier. I offered to take her. When we got there, surprisingly enough we couldn’t find him. We searched that whole school looking for her department head and couldn’t find him anywhere. We even stopped people in the hall (that I knew knew him) and I asked them if they had seen him and while they seemed confused at times they usually gave us some directions, but no luck aat finding him.
Finally we went by the office and I suggested she go inside and ask the secretaries because I had work to do. I waited outside the glass-fronted office and watched her ask the secretaries where she might find the English department head. I watched as the secretaries looked at her as if she were a little strange and then point at me who, by this time, was waving at her through the glass front. I watched the secretaries (who had just figured out what I had been doing) totally lose it laughing, and I further watched as the new teacher stormed out of the office in tears of embarrassment, come over to me and slap me.
That was over 20 years ago. We have been together ever since (well, all except that first couple of weeks she wouldn’t speak to me).
P.S. I still have the $5 she slipped me.