Where I pit myself for Parking Lot Rage

The BBQ Pit
21

Wow. I’ve never heard of a person holding a spot with their body. It’s a petty and childish thing to do and really outside the unwritten rules.

Here’s how the different stages of this should have played out.

Manny approaches family and asks, “can we have your space?”

  1. Family man says, “sure”.

Manny, who discovers he has to walk to the spot says, “oh, I guess it’s not right in front of my car, so whoever is next in line when you pull out gets it.”

OR

  1. Family man says, “I don’t own the parking spot. Whoever is in line when I pull out gets it, and I’m sad that a grown man just behaved so childishly in front of my family.”

Let’s say we do make it to the space with Manny walking with the family.

  1. Manny stands in the space like a spolied brat child. Cars pass by “cursing” the man-child for staking it out like a kindergartener. Manny’s driver eventually make it around and the people who were following societal norms continue to drive around and look for spots. Manny wins. Score one for the petty.

  2. A car says, “i’m pulling in there, and I request that you move.” Manny moves and says, “well, I guess I’ll have to try it the way everyone who graduated first grade does it.”

What Manny should be pitting himself for is not getting into a confrontation (which was inevitable), but being a fucking bitch in the first place. Because sometimes when a person behaves like Manny was behaving, I don’t know what you could do except resort to a threat, or bump into him with your car.

If a person has just set out to upset the norm, there’s really nothing you can do.

He probably ruined his night, his driver’s night, made a pain in the ass for a cop, and ruined the concert for two people who were just trying to take a spot they were entitled to.

Un-fucking-believable what a petulant ass Manny must be.

22

What was the couple to do then?

Let’s say I’m standing in an aisle in the grocery store and you come walking up the aisle. I move in front of you. You move to the side, and I move to the side blocking you again.

I’m FORCING you to walk to another aisle, or physically touch me when I’m just being “passive”. There HAS to be laws against that.

If not, there’s an unwritten rule that says you just don’t do that.

Since we’re “in” the grocery store, let’s say I did this. . .someone is getting checked out. My wife is still in the vegetable section with the grocery cart, but she’s just going to be a minute so I get in line.

  1. No one shows up behind me. Wife approaches. We get in line. No problems.

  2. Someone shows up behind me with a grocery cart. While the person in front of me is still checking out, my wife comes up and cuts in front of the person behind me. Pretty assholey.

  3. Someone shows up behind me with a grocery cart. The person in front of me finishes checking out and I stand there waiting for my wife while the cashier does nothing.

Scenario 3 is what Manny did. It’s CLEAR assholery. And you can can’t criticize the “drinking guy” for being an asshole when Manny forced his hand. If he had actually PUNCHED Manny, that would have been borderline assholery. The fact that he didn’t shows a lot of restraint on his part. If he stabbed Manny, that would have been full blown assholery.

23

While I agree with you on number 3, I can’t see the assholery in number 2. Is it another of those unwritten rules?

24

You shouldn’t be waiting in line if you’re not ready to check out. It would be a different matter if, while the two of you were waiting in line your wife suddenly remembers that she forgot to pick up some eggs. So she runs off to get the eggs while you wait with the cart in line.

The scenario of just getting in line before you think you are ready is being an asshole.

25

Years ago, when I was doing my undergraduate studies, parking was at a premium at the university I attended (and is even more so today).

I worked full-time and carried a 3/4 time load at the university, and had a nail-biting schedule that pretty much didn’t leave any room for unexpected delays. :rolleyes:

During finals in my senior year, I left work early to make it to the university early so I’d have time to park and make it to my final exam on time.

Heavy traffic downtown, blah blah blah, and I’m down to the wire now. I pull in to one of the available lots and see an empty space. I’m the only one in the row, so it’s free and clear.

I’m in a hurry so the asshat sitting down in the empty space almost bought it right there. I screeched to a stop, my heart pounding like crazy. I stepped out of the car and asked him with scarcely controlled anger what he was doing sitting in a parking space.

Well, a friend is having car trouble and she might have to leave the car overnight, so he’s saving the space.

If she’s having car trouble, where is she? There’s no car there.

She’s driving it around the block to see if it’s going to make it home. If not she has to leave it here and he’s saving her space.

I told him there was no “saving spaces” and that he needed to move. He flatly refused and said he’d “promised” to save the space. He was reading a book, so he looked down and continued to read, ignoring me and my fingers tapping on the hood of my car.

I’m really getting down to the last minute so I just got back in my car and started inching forward. I literally got so close that I couldn’t see him anymore, so I stopped. I got out of the car, walked to the back bumper, and noted that I was far enough into the space to where other cars could easily pass behind me and not hit my car.

So, I grabbed my knapsack, locked up my car and briskly strode off in the direction of my class.

Hey! Hey! Hey, move your car out of the spaaaaace!! It’s RESERVED! He’s calling after me almost in a panic.

I ignored him. :smiley:

26

I witnessed this happen when I lived in Sydney. A Chinese woman was reserving the space for her husband by standing in it and the white Australian man who got to the park with the car first was inching towards her yelling “we don’t do this in Australia, MOVE”. I must admit that I’ve never seen it before or since in Australia or NZ and although there have been times when I’ve thought it a good idea, it’s something that I would never do either - that’s not to say that it doesn’t go on. At the time, I thought it was an interesting commentary on racial integration. Now I see that Merkins do it too!

27

I’m sorry, but even after your explanation, I still don’t understand why person pulling into a spot from a vehicle slightly before the vehicle pulls in, is any less valid than the vehicle pulling in itself.

Maybe it depends upon the part of the country you’re from. Chefguy can correct me, or back me up, whichever fits, on this one, but I’ve seen this happen up here many times, and no one I’ve come across bats an eye.

I’ve never done it myself, since I tend to park in faraway, or unpopular parts of the parking lot, but I would simply automatically drive right by a person in a spot doing this.

Although, my one thought about the OP is that why, knowing how bonkers so many Americans are, didn’t you simply ask the original family to wait a moment until your friend’s car was even with the parking space, telling others that you were not leaving, but merely getting something and would be going back in (or something like that)?

28

Because people can’t be parked, dumbass, only cars can be parked. A car in a parking space isn’t “holding” it, it’s PARKED in it. By sheer semantic necessity, a car parked in a parking space rightfully occupies it. A person standing in a parking space is not parked – he is not a car – he can’t rightfully occupy a parking space.

Honestly, I don’t know why this is so hard to grasp.

29

I was wrong. I’ve come to think of Manny as really no different than this guy.

Well, except instead of standing in front of a line of tanks, for the cause of democracy in an oppressed society, he was actually trying to cut in line at a Rick Springfield concert in Northern Virginia because he couldn’t find a parking spot for 25 minutes. But why quibble?

Sally forth noble line jumpers. For one day ye shall be remembered as the true heroes of our cause.

30

Trunk, Neurotic et. al. Do you feel the same way about reserving a table at a restraunt pre-booking tickets for a concert or pre-ordering a book? I don’t see the difference between these situations and sitting in an empty parking space.

31

I have a hard time believing you’re actually this stupid. The difference is that those situations are explicitly allowed policies, set up by the company. Had the OP reserved a parking spot through an official channel of the company running the parking area, then it would be one thing. Instead, he had a buddy go cut in line for a parking space.

32

I think I can safely say that driving your car into the person, even if it’s just a touch as this was, is in the “Don’t Do” list. As is yelling at the person and threatening to assault the person. The only right thing they did was involve the police, which Manny suggested they do at the outset.

Note, if you will, that the police officer suggested at least two charges could be filed against the couple, assault and disorderly conduct. Manny was described by the officer as being foolish, not criminal.

This, I think, describes the situaton well. Manny was being foolish and the couple escalated it to a potentially violent and criminal situation.

33

Because Manny gave them no other options.

I don’t care what the officer said they could have been charged with.

You can’t just goad someone into being an asshole and then cry “innocent” when they actually do act like an asshole. The guy should have lifted Manny off the ground with a bear hug, moved him aside, and let his wife move into the spot. Or the driver should have continued to NUDGE Manny until she was in her spot.

I think both of those would have been reasonable actions. Yeah, yeah. . .that’s technically ASSAULT, right? Big fuckin’ whoop. Excuse me for not wanting to live in a world where a guy can be a total fucking asshole but if another guy yells at him for it or lays a pinkie finger on him, THAT guy gets charged with assault…

34

NO other options? They couldn’t have just gotten a police officer without assaulting or threatening Manny? They couldn’t have just driven on and gotten another spot? They couldn’t have blocked the spot and waited Manny out? Those appear to be completely valid options to me. Odd that you don’t see that these options exist.

35

How so? They always had the option of turning away and looking for another parking space. Or calling the police because there was a person standing where a car belongs. The officer, as related in the OP, would have made him move because “you can’t reserve spaces, it’s first come first served.” They had no grounds on which it was justifiable to use their car as a weapon.

Enjoy,
Steven

36

Legally, I agree. You can’t do that sort of thing. Morally, though, some people just need to be assaulted. If the driver had just run over Manny, I’d say it was Manny’s own damn fault for being a complete asshole.

37

All right, there were options.

It’s just ridiculous that the car would have to call the cops and wait for them to arrive because someone is standing in their parking spot. Ridiculous.

I don’t see this as “using your car as a weapon” either. Don’t exaggerate for the sake of argument. You know that a person can lightly feather the brake and inch a car forward and that there is no risk of injury associated with it.

38

You’re right that a person shouldn’t have to call the cops and wait around for a spot, Manny admitted that he was in the wrong. Sometimes, to keep the peace, you have to deal with somebody being a jerk in an inconvenient way rather than the quick way.

39

While I’m on board with the “Assholery is Afoot” faction, suggesting it’s proper for someone to “nudge” someone out of their way with a CAR? Let’s be reasonable here. Not only is a car NOT designed to gently tap things out of the way, you can’t see your front bumper from sitting inside.

What are the guidelines for using your vehicle to gently move people like a flock of sheep? What visual signs do you look for on the face of the parking lot squatter to show when you’ve gone too far…or have another inch or two before contact? Should the husband been outside the car, giving advice and motioning with his hands, saying “Just a little more, honey…you’ve got plenty of room before you connect with his shin.” Christ…it’s a CAR.

So no other options? Whatever. Sit and wait for the guy to leave. His friend wouldn’t have gotten the spot either. What it boils down to is a Mexican Standoff ultimately arbitrated by the degree to which one is a Rick Springfield fan.

40

I think we have some pretty different ideas of what constitutes moral behavior.

I’m not exaggerating. A car is not a device intended for subtle persuasion. Three inches further in and the OP could have suffered a hyperextended knee or broken leg. Three inches is not far, I don’t care how good you are at feathering your brakes.

Society has rules about conflict resolution. Nowhere in those rules does it say it’s ok to threaten(and make no mistake, this is exactly what was being done) someone with a multi-thousand, probably several hundred horsepower piece of equipment. Carrying through that threat to the point where it actually contacts the person being threatened and is mere inches from potentially causing serious bodily injury is way out of bounds.

Enjoy,
Steven