Thanks, Larry! I don’t exactly get a chance to show off with any special knowledge on the SDMB very often, as there aren’t many questions about cats’ penises and such for me to answer, so I’ve enjoyed the opportunity to be a little bit of an expert on something for a change!
I have to say that if there is a God and he made sex painful for cats in order to convince them that sex was bad . . . well, maybe they do think its bad, but they don’t care! They seem pretty enthusiastic about risking hellfire and damnation by wallowing in the depths of depravity.
I guess that would also explain the canine peculiarity of becoming ‘locked together’ during intercourse so that the male cannot withdraw his penis for several minutes after ejaculation. Can you imagine what the pair would be thinking? “Oh my God - we had sex and now we’re stuck together! Honey, can you reach the phone? Hurry and call 911 - no, wait, don’t! What do we do now? Oh hell, I’ll never do THIS again!”
Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
::Time to consult She Who Possesseth The Noble Kitty Feets::
Oh God, Thou Which Art of course a Cat, I beseech Thee, tell me the truth of this?
She replieth: "Silly primate! Don’t the females of your species leave little fingernail marks down your dorsal surface, and are you not proud to bear such clever rally stripes? Listen, honey chile, there are times for yowling, baby, and not all of them are for pain. And sometimes you just gotta plant a paw full of claws against his face cuz it feels like a yowl. Sometimes you just wanna scratch something deep. It don’t mean he ain’t done right. Believe me, if malecat done me wrong, he gonna get lots more than a swat, he gonna get the backfeet claws down his ventral surface like a farmer’s harrow. But they come here cuz they heard me sing and they like how I swish my tail, see? They ain’t come to do no harm.
Now are you done with the questions? Is there something more you thought I oughta do for you? Good. Now is there something you could do for me? Yes, that would be a good start…"
A bit late to react but no its not the barbs thag make a queen scream. I had a queen who had an intense relationship with a spayed tom. And yes to everyones surprise they had lots of intercourse, with lots of screaming going on. And no, no kittens. So the screaming has nothing to do with the barbs. It looked and sounded like pleasure.
I’m sure all the cats in the original thread have long since gone on to their rewards.
If you look at a neutered cat’s rear end, it has a bulge with a dimple in it. The penis is in the dimple, and the size will depend on whether the male went through cat puberty before he got the snippity-snip.
This happened to me–my big fluffy tomcat spends most of his days on the back of the couch where I like to sit, and he gets a yearly lion cut to bring the fluffies down to manageable levels because he mostly doesn’t groom worth a damn. Anyway, he was desultorily licking his belly and I glanced over and boy howdy, cat penis ahoy. It was really weird looking, pointy and vaguely spiky and it WIGGLED AROUND in a rather disturbing manner. Felt like my kitteh had been infected by some crazy parasite lol. So yeah, cat dicks are kinda gross.
