[QUOTE=you with the face]
Don’t ask me why I’m wading into this thread again, but I think yall are missing the point.
Plenty of things are “legitimate clothing accessories”. But obviously a spiked dog collar is not something that freekalette dons on a regular voluntary basis or else it wouldn’t represent a humiliating punishment sufficient to get her husbands rock’s off. What the collar represents is the point, not whether or not it’s all that bad. Just like the damn tickling.
If I saw my mother walking around with something like that around her neck, and I knew it was something out of the ordinary for her and I suspected it was something she didn’t really want to wear, as a kid with a limited understanding of what’s going on in parents’ mind, I would be disturbed by that. I might even be upset, especially if we were out in public and her embarrassment became my embarrassment. If I suspected it had somethng to do with my stepdad, then I might become disgusted and angry.
What do you tell a kid who asks “Why are you wearing that around your neck, Mommy?” Either you lie and tell them they it’s because you wanted to wear it (that’s not truthful because it wouldn’t be a punishment if that was the case). Or you tell the truth: “Mommy got mouthy so Daddy is making me wear this as punishment.” In my opinion, neither of these answers is all that appropriate because such a conversation should never happen if you’re a parent talking to her kids. This kind of game playing is unfair to them because they aren’t going to be in on the “joke”. There’s a whole “wink wink nudge nudge” dynamic that the kids will eventually pick up on, if they haven’t already. How weird it must feel for them in that house, sensing the changes in their mom but not knowing for sure what’s going on.
I still think the greater issue is that this relationship is so new for the two older kids that I can’t see the 24/7 slave thing helping them to adjust. It seems to be just asking for trouble. Their bio dad has drug issues, mom has a history of depression and anxiety, they just got a new stepdad who’s barely old enough to shave, and as if that’s not enough, let’s just pile on the some pseudo-abuse, disrespect, and games of humiliation and degradation!
Not that anyone asked me, but I don’t think these kind of relationships are automatically bad news. I just think that the circumstances outlined by freekalette warrant some prudence here.
[/QUOTE]
And lest we forget the deeper root cause, “Steeler Fan” an “Insane Clown Posse” keep ringing in my ears…
OK, not really, but I agree with your post.