From the American Heritage Dictionary:
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Maybe there’s something in her head that makes her function better when someone else is calling all of the shots, and she’s found a reasonably acceptable way to fulfill this need by working it into her kink.
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Arguments about the well-being of the children have to be turned around and put to any other family with a lifestyle which is not two parents, 1.7 children, 2-car garage in the suburbs. How can families which live in the cities be so cruel as to expose their children to all that crime? How can families in the country bear to let their kids grow up without extreme diversity? Those poor homeschooled children with no social skills… How the hell dare people join the armed forces, when it gives their children NO CHOICE but to fear for the parent’s life every day?
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I’m not saying a D/s relationship isn’t kinda fucked-up. I’m not saying it’s abundantly HEALTHY for kids to live around, but I don’t think it’s necessarily UNhealthy. And no, I’m not comparing a D/s relationship to joining the Marines, for fuck’s sake. I’m just saying “but it’s unusual/weird/funky” isn’t necessarily a good enough reason to say no.
Well the one that I grew up in was full of violence and sexual abuse. I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t be about that. I’m not a fucking marriage counselor but some how the whole slave/master thing just doesn’t seem like the right path to chose, but hey, that’s just me. I’m real old school like that. I’m sure a man like you has just the plan on the way a relationship should work like a well oiled machine. Am I mistaken?
Considering that this is an abusive relationship, and that she doesn’t leave, no, you are incorrect - it is not ridiculous, but completely accurate.
You mean apart from hitting her, raping her, publicly humiliating her, and holding her up for ridicule by strangers.
But that’s exactly the point. The children of this relationship are being taught, day by day, that “respecting” a woman means humiliating her, and that you show love thru violence, and that a women must always perform sexually on demand, upon penalty of beatings.
Sure, that’s true. I am sure you would not deny that parents have a strong influence on their children, and a strong responsibility for teaching them not to abuse or exploit others.
Is it definitely sure that these children are going to grow up fucked beyond belief? No, of course not. It’s possible to grow up in a very sick and twisted household, and still be a rational adult. But just because many victims of childhood incest survive despite their abuse does not mean that child molestation is just another lifestyle.
It’s the same thing here. These children have no choice in whether or not to witness the humiliation of their mother - the father does it in public restaurants. The title of the linked thread says they do this 24/7, all the time. Every second of every minute of every day, the children are being taught, in word and deed, that this is how women want to be treated. They want to be raped, and beaten, and humiliated.
Faugh.
What you’re describing aren’t “lifestyles.” They are degenerate situations, many of which involve taking advantage of the mentally ill.
For example anyone that wants to live like the target of OP’s post, is most certainly mentally disease. Such a person is relatively blameless and needs help. Who is blameworthy is the husband. I can’t imagine how much he gets his rocks off on having a pet slave (obviously I mean this both figuratively and literally.) Would people be okay with it if his slave wasn’t “willing” and someone he just captured off the streets? Of course not, but that’s basically what has happened here–but instead of using physical force he has just taken advantage of the fact that his significant other is mentally ill (or perhaps just mentally challenged in some way.)
Yes, you are mistaken. I do not think there is any particular way a relationship should work.
Bullshit. Just because you keep claiming that this relationship is abusive does not make it so. This a relationship where both partners sat down on numerous occasions and discussed the parameters of behavior for the relationship. There was equal power in these discussions and free choice. They chose something different than you and most people would choose, but it not abuse.
Different strokes for different folks. And he is not raping her.
Now check “abjectly”
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ab·ject [ab-jekt, ab-jekt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective 1. utterly hopeless, miserable, humiliating, or wretched: abject poverty.
2. contemptible; despicable; base-spirited: an abject coward.
—Synonyms 1. debasing, degrading; miserable. 2. base, mean, low, vile.
She does not seem miserable, resigned, utterly hopeless, etc. to me - in fact she seems quite happy - the opposite of abjectly (please note there is no such thing as “abject happiness”). She certainly does not feel “brought low” since she enjoys it.
The simple test of a slave - if she felt this situation was not for her could she leave? If not, then I would agree she was a slave.
So why bother asking the question? I’ll bet in real life your a little wet pussy.
They should have banned your weasely little troll ass long ago.
Shodan, you have absolutely no idea what the fuck you’re talking about. There is a substantive difference between an abusive relationship and a consensual one. You’re just hopelessly vanilla and can’t really understand kink, aren’t you? “It’s not like I’d do it, so it’s wrong!”
Which doesn’t surprise me one bit, coming from you…either the not knowing what the fuck you’re talking about or the not understanding kink.
How is it out of context? She admits she lives this lifestyle 24/7, ergo, her children do see some of it, just not the sexual aspect. She can explain tolerance of different types of relationships all she wants, the bottom line is, the children are growing up in a household where Mommy calls Daddy sir, where she waits on him hand and foot, and where Daddy does not use common courtesy to Mommy. To the adults, it may seem like “fun,” but to the children, this is how a marriage is supposed to be. So what happens when the son grows up and “smacks” his girlfriend for not making him a sandwich? What happens when the daughter grows up and seeks out an abusive man because she thinks that’s what women are supposed to do?
You’re concentrating on the adults, without any thought to how their behavior might be interpreted by the children, who do not have the experience or the wisdom to put that behavior in “context.”
Yeah, the AHD’s defintion is not very good. I should have used a different dictionary. Even their own example of use does not fit with their definition:
Oxford’s definition is better:
Or even Merriam-Webster:
And, of course, slave is a standard term in use in the certain sexual subcultures.
The only thing that outraged me about that relationship in that thread was the fact that her husband made her eat at *Olive Garden.
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Fuck Olive Garden. Their pasta is flavorless and floppy. Their breadsticks are mostly composed of air, with some greasy oil smeared on as an afterthought. Their alfredo sauce is runny, watery and disgusting, and tastes like yak cum. And it’s all a gigantic ripoff, on top of all that.
If my husband forced me to eat at Olive Garden, I’d cut off his fucking pecker and force feed it to him.
I was trying to illustrate that “should” is not an appropriate word to use in regard to how human relationships work. There are no natural objective standards by which relationships should work. It is all just shit we make up.
Why is OK to mock the people who think this is sick as vanilla and oh so unenlightened? Why is it not OK to say that I do not accept this and that if I knew someone who acted like this I would completely cut them out of my life?
How do people who think slavery is a “lifestyle choice” get the moral high ground?
Jesus Christ, it’s not “SLAVERY” as the world has ever actually known the institution! I’m not even dom or sub or masochist or sadist or…anything! I’m just a member of a sexual minority and I find that the average mundane is an incredible prude…and I’m outraged by attempts by incredible prudes to try to paint any consensual non-harming sex act as “unacceptable” because it’s not that much of a stretch from saying “If you want to be a submissive in a relationship, we’re going to put you in the psych ward for your own good” to saying “If you want to be gay, we’re going to put you in the psych ward for your own good”.
I think that ANY non-harmful lifestyle can be adequately monitored by parents to make sure that their children are getting a full understanding of what’s going on. That includes D/s or cosplay or naturism or ludditism or whatever. It takes extra steps and extra care, but it can be done. To flat-out say, “I don’t like what they’re doing so I’m going to cry out ‘Think of the Children!’” makes me see red, because “Think of the Children” is, 99% of the time, an attempt to get something you don’t agree with banned or at least ostracized, and the children just a handle to give you a grip on it.
Doesn’t the OP in the other thread describe it as slavery?
No. The only person to mention “slavery” is A Priori Tea.
Well, it’s certainly true that I am pretty vanilla. Of course, you don’t have kids, so perhaps personal experience isn’t the be-all and end-all.
But all the cites I have listed are about children learning about abuse in relationships where the mother did not leave. So, unless you can show in some way that consent means something more than “willing to stick around and take it” and that this reduces the likelihood of future abuse back to background levels, I am afraid it is you who don’t know what he is talking about.
Which surprises me no more than it did you.
Regards,
Shodan
I have absolutely no problem judging that “relationship.” It’s sick and dysfunctional and fucked up and the kids should be taken away from them. The man is especially sick. Only a psychopathic, sadistic, pathologically self-centered individual would want to live in that kind of profoundly abusive relationship (and I don’t want to hear any bullshit about how it’s “consenual.” Suck my dick. It’s "consensual because the victim is fucking mentally ill and being exploited by a slimeball pervert). It’s not a “relationship” at all. It’s a codependent sex addiction. It wouldn’t be anyone’s problem than their own if there weren’t kids involved. Acting out this kind of obsessive sexual behavior in front of one’s own kids shows a selfishness and lack of responsibility that shoul not be tolerated by decent society.
Grow the fuck up and show some goddamn concern for your own children. Get some fucking counselling, for Christ’s sake.
For once, I agree completely with Shodan.