freekalette refers to herself as a slave in her OP (bolding mine):
Apparently it matters if they’re happy darkies.
And, on preview -
Lord have mercy, the Apocalypse is upon us. 
Regards,
Shodan
>psst< Title of the op is, um, ask the…slave. Just sayin’.
Slavery is a term that usually refers to an institution of bound servitude.
The OP was using a sexual subculture jargon term.
Right on the money.
Just because this bizarre arrangement is shrouded in made up technical jargon (“Total Power Exchange.” D/s relationship or whatever) does not somehow lend it any legitimacy. It sounds to me like both parties are mentally ill. I know it sounds judgmental and usually I’m open to pretty much anything under the sun sexually, but this seems to go far beyond sex and into the realm of literal psychological slavery. I think the man in question is definitely using this “kink” to justify his being a power-hungry dictator.
Well, I’m disappointed in several people I previously admired, had my general feelings about others confirmed, and now have several new people to chuck into the “provincial small-minded sexual prude” barrel.
Thanks. This was informative.
Yeah, but like she said, it’s their entire lives, not just in the bedroom.
Of course, consent means more than just staying and taking it. A lot of the woman that stay in abusive relationships are in fear of what will happen if they leave or do not feel they can leave. Also, the issue of the parameters of behaviors are not discussed in a rational manner before the conduct begins. Often there may be mental problems that the abused is suffering. Or the abused may be acting out past abuse.
That this not consensual.
In the particular case in the other thread, we have a man and a woman that sat down and discussed before this started what the parameters would be. There is no indication that she is in fear. There is no indication that she would leave if she could - in fact she would resist if you tried to make her leave. There is no indication that she has any mental problems that prevent consent. There is no indication of any past abuse.
IOW: “I know what’s best for you and your family. I know what’s best for you, and if you don’t agree you are mentally deficient.”
Wow! The mind boggles.
I was going to go on a long-winded rant about the idiocy of some of these judgments, but… yeah, what you said, jayjay. 
But, on the bright side, now I can put “psychopathic, sadistic, pathologically self-centered individual” on my business cards. Win!
[VCO3]That thread filled me with such blinding rage that I immediately smashed my fist into my monitor and dragged my wrist and forearm along the shattered glass of the CRT, slicing flesh, muscle and tendons until my hand hung limply, held only by a fragment of cartilage. Then I ripped the 25-pin connector from the back of the computer and gouged huge chunks of flesh from my cheeks, spiralling in on my eyes, and I tossed a coin to see which iris would get 13 pins driven into it from the broken connector and which would get 12. Today left was lucky. Then I picked up the monitor and smashed it down repeatedly on my lap until I heard both the monitor housing and my kneecaps cracking.[/VCO3]
It’s okay, though. I was planning to upgrade to a flat-screen, anyway.
Seriously, people, grow the fuck up. The relationship apparently works for them and some straitlaced conventional marriages have produced serial killers, so fretting about “the children” is asinine.
Do you have any kids? It’s not “prudery” to say that it’s inappropriate to engage in sexual role playing in front of the children. Save the French maid’s outfit for the bedroom. Don’t wear it at the dinner table.
When it involves something as significant as a complete distortion of gender roles (something kids are not going to understand), things get even worse. It’s not something you can explain away just by saying, “oh, this is something mommy and daddy get off on. It isn’t real.” You are what you pretend to be (especially in the kids’ eyes) and they need their parents to be focused on being parents, not distracted by their own sexual psychodramas.
I know what’s fucked up for children to have to witness.
This I can agree with. All the “sick and dysfunctional and fucked up” and “only a psychopathic, sadistic, pathologically self-centered individual would want to live in that kind of profoundly abusive relationship” and “the victim is fucking mentally ill and being exploited by a slimeball pervert” stuff? No.
Honestly, what occurs to me regarding the kids is that two of those kids are not being raised by their parents who are living an unusual lifestyle. They are being raised by one of their parents who started all this (so far as they know) some years into her relationship with their stepfather.
What this may turn out to mean in the context of their lives, I have no idea. I am not, however, entirely certain that the OP and her husband know, either. What I do know is that the potential dynamic of such a change in the context of a blended family strikes me as perilous at best.
So I guess you are the one that has the peer-reviewed research that shows this type of relationship will damage children. Can you produce it?
Are you one of those bigots that says gays, lesbians, and trans-gendered people should not be allowed to raise children because they distort gender roles? What is so fucking special about bullshit gender roles?
That’s fucked up. Why should he eat better than you?
The VCO3 part made me giggle madly. Now my roommate thinks I’m insane.
Have people even READ the original thread carefully? A lot of frothing-at-the-mouth comments here have me thinking that a lot of you are imagining these two parents dressed up in black leather and acting out their sexual kinks in the living room while Spongebob Squarepants is on. My impression is that to the outside observer, their relationship is not going to seem particularly odd. Certainly there are plenty of couples where one seems content to follow where the other leads.
Maybe their children will have issues, but a lot of children who come from conventional backgrounds have plenty of issues. This whole thing reminds me of the 20/20 episode I watched last night, where Walters was interviewing a high-end prostitute and seemed determined that this woman must have been abused as a child. She came from an upper-middle-class background and had a BA at the least, and was very articulate and reasonable. A certain kind of upbringing does not necessarily lead to a certain kind of adulthood.
You know fuck-all. You just fake confidence. You’ve been doing it for years.
I don’t even have that, as mine is a boringly-vanilla marriage.
This is of the scariest thing I’ve seen. A seemingly open-minded community calling for outrage over a situation they know little about, and whatever little we know is not enough for me to make my mind on. I weep thinking what the rest of the world is like. This is a very educational thread, in that sense.
I, for one, know that many people around me would seriously advocate for my child to be removed from my care based on any number of things I do or believe in.
I have nothing more to say.