[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee]
This whole thing reminds me of the 20/20 episode I watched last night, where Walters was interviewing a high-end prostitute and seemed determined that this woman must have been abused as a child. She came from an upper-middle-class background and had a BA at the least, and was very articulate and reasonable. A certain kind of upbringing does not necessarily lead to a certain kind of adulthood.
[/QUOTE]
Wasn’t that Diane Sawyer?
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun]
So I guess you are the one that has the peer-reviewed research that shows this type of relationship will damage children. Can you produce it?
[/quote]
You want a cite that acting out sexual psychodramas in front of kids especially when one parent pretends to dominate and abuse the other, is damaging to the? Some things are just self-evident.
No.
Nothing. That’s why it’s fucked up to implant the idea that one gender should be rigidly and dominated by another.
Question: what if the older children’s father objected to his children living in this situation? Could freekalette lose custody of her children? What would a judge (whose job it is to, you know, judge, something we’re not supposed to do here on the SDMB) think of the whole 24/7 BDSM deal? The judges in family court have to ask themselves all day long that horrible question, “What about the childreeeeen?” that we so revile here. So I’m curious about that aspect of things.
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun]
Wasn’t that Diane Sawyer?
[/QUOTE]
Oh, maybe. They all look alike to me. :smack:
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic]
Some things are just self-evident.
[/QUOTE]
Everyone thinks his prejudices are self-evident.
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun]
Everyone thinks his prejudices are self-evident.
[/QUOTE]
I don’t have prejudices. I have kids. You obviously don’t.
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee]
Oh, maybe. They all look alike to me. :smack:
[/QUOTE]
Just remember Sawyer is the one you could fuck after a bottle of wine: Walters after a bottle of whiskey.
[QUOTE=Rubystreak]
Question: what if the older children’s father objected to his children living in this situation? Could freekalette lose custody of her children? What would a judge (whose job it is to, you know, judge, something we’re not supposed to do here on the SDMB) think of the whole 24/7 BDSM deal? The judges in family court have to ask themselves all day long that horrible question, “What about the childreeeeen?” that we so revile here. So I’m curious about that aspect of things.
[/QUOTE]
In a word, yes. Living in a D/s relationship with children is the subject of a lot of educational and other efforts in many kink communities, and one of the main subjects that folks discuss is the legal ramifications of their lifestyles becoming public. It is quite common in cases where custody is disputed for the disputing party to use the other party’s habits as ammunition, and kink is particularly effective. I’m sure that, from this thread, you can see why.
If you have a look at organizations like the NCSF , you’ll see that they do a lot of work educating people on how to deal with the police, with children’s services, and with the court system to get the most fair treatment possible from these entities. It is very often an uphill battle, but by no means impossible. For situations like freekalette’s, there is often a lot of effort put into keeping the children as separate from the kink as is humanly possible, just as divorced parents keep their children out of their sex lives as much as possible, fearing accusations of abuse and/or molestation.
Maybe YOU could sleep with Walters after a bottle of whiskey but I would need a bottle of Everclear. And I don’t think Hazel would really be interested in either of them.
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic]
You want a cite that acting out sexual psychodramas in front of kids especially when one parent pretends to dominate and abuse the other, is damaging to the? Some things are just self-evident.
[/QUOTE]
Did you READ THE THREAD? The most they do in front of their children is him ordering her to do things. Guess what? I grew up in a household just like that. My parents never bothered to explain things to me since in their minds it didn’t need any explanation. That did not lead to me growing up craving male domination. Neither did it lead to my brother growing up with the desire to beat his girlfriends.
Incidents like these remind me that this community is not as open-minded as it prides itself to be. I understand the concerns raised, but people are being really judgemental and, I dunno, rabid about their disagreement. You’d think the woman was being raped in front of her children or something.
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic]
You want a cite that acting out sexual psychodramas in front of kids especially when one parent pretends to dominate and abuse the other, is damaging to the? Some things are just self-evident.
[/QUOTE]
Yes, I do want such a cite, actually; some things are, indeed, self-evident, but this isn’t one of them. Yes, the children will quite possibly grow up to be like the parents, but given that the parents seem like happy and otherwise normal adults, I can’t quite see this as “damaging.” Besides, as you very well know, kids don’t just learn gender roles and socially-acceptable behavior from their parents; I would, in fact, argue that a significant, and oftentimes major, portion of such education occurs outside the home altogether.
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic]
I don’t have prejudices. I have kids. You obviously don’t.
[/QUOTE]
I guess a sample size of two?, three? kids makes you an expert? Did your kids have any experience at all with dealing with a situation like this? If not, how does parenting of children that have no experience with the issue at hand make your opinion anything other than prejudice?
[QUOTE=Argent Towers]
And I don’t think Hazel would really be interested in either of them.
[/QUOTE]
Sez you. My secret sexual fantasy is dressing up as a school girl and being tied to a bedpost while Walters and Sawyer take turns rapping my knuckles with a ruler while admonishing me for fulfilling a racial stereotype.
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee]
Sez you. My secret sexual fantasy is dressing up as a school girl and being tied to a bedpost while Walters and Sawyer take turns rapping my knuckles with a ruler while admonishing me for fulfilling a racial stereotype.
[/QUOTE]
That’s hot.
Does Stone Philipps factor into your fantasy? 
This is why we can’t have nice things.
“I don’t understand the way these adults are consensually enjoying themselves! They are freaks and I wish they were banned! Maybe burned! Probably both if we can do that! Can we do that? Of course we can, we’re the fucking social majority!”
Even with all the secrecy that kinksters have to undergo in order to keep things like their jobs, their vanilla relationships, their extended families… as soon as someone speaks out, it’s suddenly like we all regressed back to the 1960s where the proper response to a consensual relationship between same-sex adults was “they’re mentally disturbed! Shock them, lock them up, do something to punish them for not being like us!” That shit doesn’t fly anymore. Some of us have been practicing for decades, so it’s not like we seriously need you to police us and tell us how to get our kink on the “right” way.
Here’s the rule, for the vanillafolk who choose to be close-minded thickies: Safe, Sane, Consensual. It’s an old rule, but a goodie. (There’s some debate in the general community over it, because one person’s ‘sane’ is another person’s ‘fucking loony,’ so longer phrases lend themselves less to judgmental assholes thinking their kink is the “one true” kink.)
That is, without mutually agreed-upon consent by people who are capable of consenting intelligently, it is abuse. Sometimes there are written contracts so that all parties have clear expectations; sometimes it’s just verbal agreements come to after years of knowing each other. But there’s always consent, and if there isn’t, then those of us who are self-respecting adults will either shun the offenders or report them as soon as we can, because it’s hard enough doing what you want in your own bedroom with busybodies like Shodan and DtC insulting you and making shit up in some bizarre quixotic attempt to make the world right for us poor, consenting submissives without actual abuse coming around to confuse the issue.
But hey, if acting in a sane and adult way to those who admit to having different sexual tastes bothers the fuck out of you so much, might I suggest finding somewhere else to vomit? Even if this is the Pit, you’re still on a board dedicated to fighting ignorance. It’s easy to tell when someone’s posting because they’re actually concerned about a fellow human’s help and when they’re posting because their ass boils are particularly bad that day or something and they can’t get it up without laying into somebody of whom the rest of us would like to ask some honest and respectful questions.
Also:
Ah, see, I knew there was another reason I do what she asks! It couldn’t be because I really feel content in my skill and selflessness when serving someone I love… [spoiler]it’s the damn mind control! :eek:
BBIAB - am being compelled to brandish golf clubs against my family.[/spoiler]
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee]
Sez you. My secret sexual fantasy is dressing up as a school girl and being tied to a bedpost while Walters and Sawyer take turns rapping my knuckles with a ruler while admonishing me for fulfilling a racial stereotype.
[/QUOTE]
Shhh!!! People are going to want to take your children away. Don’t you know you are sick?
[QUOTE=ivylass]
Does Stone Philipps factor into your fantasy? 
[/QUOTE]
He does in mine. There’s a reason why they call him Stone, and it’s not because he’s into rock collecting.
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee]
Did you READ THE THREAD? The most they do in front of their children is him ordering her to do things.
[/quote]
I doubt that’s all they do, but that, all by itself, is fucked up and wrong, especially it appears to them that mommy is never allowed to say no or disagree.
Forget the kids for a minute. OP said she doesn’t like being spanked and "hatehateHATE"s being tickled. Yet he repeatedly does them anyway.
Isn’t that abuse by everyone’s definition?
Or is it OK because she stays and says she’s happy?
This isn’t an easy question.