I suggest the following conversation: “Mrs. Neighbor, you know that my husband and I are newlyweds, and right now we need a lot of, uh, (blush prettily) private time. So if we don’t always answer the door when you knock, I hope you’ll understand.”
This may make her a bit more hesitant to come knocking on your door, and it certainly means that you never have to answer the door again.
I am a firm believer of this as well. If you have not called in advance and just show up, I don’t have to answer the door. I usually look out the peep hole and determine whether or not I want to answer the door. I have a neighbor that will actually open my storm door to check to see if we locked the door or not. Which totally freaks me out. I mean what if I didn’t lock the door and was taking a shower, this person will just walk in my house unannounced? Good way to get shot at around here.
Do you answer the phone every time it rings? Many people do not. Many people also do not answer the door every time somebody knocks.
Related thread:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4832345#post4832345
Well, you can always buy an attack dog 
Or at least a tape recording thereof.
Or how about a sign for the door that says
“WARNING—PLAGUE—QUARANTINE”
I have people ringing my front doorbell occasionally, which is weird—the only people I know live in the same house.
So I just put on my “Bette Davis in Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte” outfit, grab my shotgun, lean out the window, and shout, “Git off mah propitty—DAYUM YEW!!”
If she’s absolutely annoying and you do not want to talk to her…
Don’t.
Tell her “Sorry, but you stop in to my home at odd hours unannounced, sometimes with people I don’t know, and either talk to me nonstop or ask me inappropriate questions at inappropriate times. I do not want to talk to you. Goodbye.”
Sounds harsh, but if you’re going to be living in your building for a long time you’ll either have to deal with her daily or not. If this was someone you delt with only through work or the annoying jerk that is always at the gym then it wouldn’t be appropriate, but this is the place you live. It’s your home, you don’t have to deal with her if you don’t want to. Its either that, or your time, mood, and home will be hers whenever she wants to talk to you and knows that your home. Yes, there will be an uncomfortable moment if you see this lady, but she’ll live, you don’t live right next door, she’ll find someone else to bother. You’re not the only person that lives in the building, though I’m thinking you’re the only one that stands her if she’s always at your place.
I’ve had to do this once to someone I had to deal with on a daily basis. Simple hints didn’t work. A nice request didn’t work. Most people are rational and will understand a simple “Excuse me, I’m busy, I’ll contact you when I have time.” Your neighbor obviously doesn’t get the hint.
You could always strip, slather yourself in blood from the joint you’re cooking, grab a big knife, open the door, and say “Ah, so this is the virgin sacrifice?”
Oh my god! I had no idea the Fuzzy Lumpkins character was patterned after Bette Davis!
FB
My neighbors are a bunch of shady ass homies who are doing things I don’t even want to think about.
Wanna trade?
"shady ass homies "
My 91 year old mother lives in assisted care and all too often the people who work there either don’t knock or just barely tap and then walk in without waiting for a response. She doesn’t appreciate this intrusion and her 87 year old boyfriend doesn’t either. I bought her a pretty little “Do Not Disturb” sign that hangs on her doorknob.
“Do Not Disturb Unless You Really Want To See A 91-year-old And An 87-year-old Naked On The Bed Getting Super-Freaky” would possibly be even more effective!
Gah! My eyes! The goggles, they do NOTHING!
What building do you live in? I just want to stop by and…tell your neighbor off :D.
Well,in my estimation a large part of this situation is the OP’s own fault. In her first post she says she is peeved at people who bother her while she is,in her own words,“trying to blow the whole damned building.”
That in itself is a bit overly friendly,don’t you think? No wonder,then,that there is always some person trying to gain entrance,with their phony “Oh,I just wanted to see your drapes” lines,and other excuses. Yeah,right;they just wanted to see if the drapes matched the carpet.
The only thing to do is move,I think. Your reputation is certainly blown,there. (Huh,what pun?)
Why don’t you ask your other neighbors, who have been there awhile, how they deal (or dealt) with her?
:smack: Blow UP.
That will learn me to preview!
“Learn me to preview?”
:eek:
There goes my attempt at linguistic humor. 