Does my next door neighbor like me?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This seems to be progressing. We’ve been neighbors for about a year. First, there was the smiling, and the cheerful greetings. From her side, that is. I don’t really ever initiate any neighborly friendliness. This was followed by the small talk. Which, I should say, is an activity that I basically have to be dragged into, kicking and screaming. Then, the hugs. Ah, the hugs. I actually rather like those. And now, we have the making out in the hallway a couple of weeks ago, when she was drunk.

Then again, I’ve seen her a few times after that, and there’s no indication that there will be a repeat of that incident, or any further progression. Only the slightest acknowledgement that it happened. Which is good, since it means that at least I wasn’t hallucinating. It’s also good, because I don’t actually want any drama. I like this apartment. Or rather, I don’t exactly like it that much, but I would like to keep living here, undisturbed. But, apparently, I’m not saying no if she wants to make out in the hallway.

I mean, I don’t regret it or anything. I’d much rather live in a world where I made out with her than one in which I didn’t. She probably regrets it. Or if not, she damned well should. But, frankly, that kind of her problem. And anyway, I guess it’s not a huge deal either way.

God knows what I’ve done to deserve the attention. I’ve just been my usual self, which basically means “quiet, kept to himself, we’re not at all surprised that he turned out to be a terrorist”. My other neighbors respond to that by ignoring me. She’s an odd one. She sure is nice, though.

Anyway, I’m sure she makes out with lots of people. God knows I would, if I had the opportunity, the talent, and the inclination. And no, I shouldn’t be thinking about it. It’s been long enough to be off my radar. It seems to be on my mind a bit, though. Frankly, it’s a little bit distracting.

2

Were you sober during this make out?

If so, she probably just feels awkward.

Then, she’s probably also thinking: “Well, I was drunk. So I had an excuse. But what was HIS excuse. Weirdo!”
Yeah, life ain’t fair.

3

Did you tell her about your “special talent”?
You know, the conversational gambit you were talking about in the" I got a date" thread.
:smiley:

4

I was sober. Well, I’d had two sips of a drink, and since I don’t ever drink, that was enough for me to notice the effect. But that was the extent of it. I was basically sober.

My excuse? Why would I need an excuse? She’s an attractive young lady (well, plenty younger than me, anyway, although just within the half my age plus seven rule range, so officially not creepy), and she wanted to make out with me. My side of the story is easy enough to explain, I should think.

BTW, I was wondering whether I should post this (been deciding against it for two weeks, because not really thread-worthy), but I figured what the heck. When I need to clear my head a bit, I come here and type stuff out. And it instantly helped. For two weeks (and frankly, ever since she first showed up and started being nice to me for no reason), I’ve been making the mistake that I always make, which is thinking that everything is about me. What should* I *do in this situation? What are *my *feelings, *my *thoughts? But, no. I’ve done nothing, more or less, and l can just happily keep doing exactly that. My other neighbors are behaving normally. She really is an odd one. This isn’t about me, it’s about her. I’m just a bystander, witnessing someone else’s oddness.

She’s not odd in a bad way, though. I think she’s basically weapons-grade extraverted. Is that a thing? I’m pretty sure that if it’s a thing, it’s a good thing.

5

(bolding mine) I had a neighbor like that once, so that might be the explanation. Sadly he wasn’t a pretty young woman but still nicer neighbor than most I’ve had.

6

Of course, you don’t need an excuse from your perspective. But that may not be how she sees it from her perspective.

Plus there’s that whole “self respect” thing. Your willingness to make out with random girls in a hallway, with out even really knowing them, may ping her creepo meter.

Not saying it’s right. Just what may be the case.

7

Yeah, quite possibly so. But, well… on the plus side, free make out session! I’m a simple boy, and not hard to get.

Nope. :wink:

Y’all know what? I think the reason I’m being slightly weird about this is because of a very tiny episode this winter. This was months ago, but it stuck with me. I was leaving my apartment in the morning, and Neighbor Lady passed me in the hallway. I really didn’t know her well at all at that point. She said hi, but she was in a hurry, no time to talk. That was fine. But as she passed me, she did this little thing. I was facing my door, locking it. She walked past me, behind me. And as she did, she very lightly brushed a finger across my back.

Just the littlest thing. Totally unexpected. And it was like this tiny little electrical shock. I can still sort of feel it there. It was the nicest little gesture ever. Not intimate at all, but still weirdly intimate. And I was like, what does *that *mean? I don’t think I’ll ever forget that little moment. There’s something, I dunno… iconic about it. Signature-like. Person-defining. Like something that Milan Kundera might talk about.

She probably didn’t give it a thought one way or the other. Anyway, I guess I’ll get on with my life now.

8

Ah, she’s toying with you now. She’s probably a serial killer and one of these days you will disappear, like so many awkward and love sick men before you.

9

I would have a slight suspicion that she might have at least a small alcohol problem and when she drinks she feels lovable, she is not repulsed by you and maybe you seem like a willing lover at times. I would go for it.

10

I don’t have a crush on this neighbor. Even though you didn’t ask that.

Trust me. When I have a crush on someone, I don’t exactly leave them the heck alone. I’m outside their window, serenading. And I am very much indeed leaving this lady alone. I’m doing nothing. I’m treating her no differently than any other neighbor. Which is basically why my WFT meter has been going off a little bit.

Anyway, I’m sure it’ll be fine. As I said, I was making the mistake of wondering what I was doing, rightly or wrongly, and what I *should *do. But, again, I’m doing nothing, I’ve been doing nothing, and I’ll just keep doing nothing.

Well, apart from the making out, obviously. But that’s it. Not that I’ve been invited to more than that. Besides, this is my house, man. It’s where I go to hide. Drama here would be worse than drama at the workplace. See, that’s why I also don’t go further than the make-out sessions at work.

She’s interesting, is all. She’s an oddball. Humanity keeps surprising me, and all that.

11

Wait, did I type “WFT”? What does *that *mean?

Wait, I have it: What the flippin’ tortoises? My “what the flippin’ tortoises” meter.

12

Oh, that’s not fair. “Gets drunk”? Sure. But we’re Scandiwegians. She seems exactly as drunk as the average person around here.

13

Okay, you’ve made it clear that you don’t have a crush on her. Are you open to entering a relationship (or even a “friends with benefits” arrangement) should it transpire that she has one on you?

I presume that both of you are romantically unencumbered atm.

14

From what you’ve described, she’s outgoing naturally and that gets a bit more relaxed after a couple of drinks. And that she thinks you are, at least, not a bad guy.

Why can’t she be occasionally looking for companionship, and think you’re a good guy? If you could keep your head together, would you consider it? If you are staying neutral and comfortable doing so, and basically avoid screwing up, who knows? Would that really put your sanctum Santorum at risk?

Best of luck either way.

ETA: is she nice? Fun to hang out with? Do you find her attractive? Do you care that she’s much younger, or does that make this easier to frame as more of a quirky flirtation vs actual relationship material?

15

Right. Well, it sounds pretty normal when you put it like that. I guess there’s nothing much to see here, really. Good to know.

Thanks, all.

Yes. Well, no, not in the scenario you describe. But, I’m:

Also, prone to poor decision making and awful reading of signals. I don’t want a situation where someone is calling the landlord to complain, because I’m serenading outside their window.

16

See, these are the kind of hypothetical questions that I ask myself. And then I find myself serenading outside windows, or knocking on people’s doors, because I think I have to *do *something. I imagine that I’m already in a situation where I’m *doing *things, have been *doing *things, and then I wonder what to *do *next.

If she bumps into me in the hallway and offers one, hypothetically? I guess my emergency decision module, that I purchased specifically for these situations, will take care of it. But as of right now? No, I’ll keep doing nothing. This doesn’t really have anything to do with me. Which is a relief.

17

Are you really sure? Because it sure seems like you do from my vantage point, perhaps in a lady doth protest too much sort of way at this point.

18

Yeah, I’m sure. She was giving me attention, is all, and I was thinking this, that and the other thing. I wouldn’t have thought about her at all, otherwise. I have other attractive young neighbors, too. They ignore me, I ignore them. I don’t have crushes on them. You won’t ever find me serenading outside their windows.

19

If she was making out with you then she likes you. She may not be interested in going any further but there’s no question she likes you. I’m no expert on modern relationships but if things are at all like they used to be then now is the time to find out. So just ask her out and talk about it. Or forget about it. Or start playing a game if you like. But you certainly know, even if she was drunk, on some level she’s into you.

20

Indeed. I think I’ll wear my smug face for a bit. It’s this one: :smiley:

Okay, done with the smug face. Back to the regular face: :dubious: :smack: :confused: :eek:

See, this is the kind of thing that pops into my head, too. Oh, now I should *do *something. What should I do? But I don’t actually have to, I don’t actually want to, and no one has a gun to my head or anything. So I’m not going to, which is fine.

Well, I’m all set. There wasn’t much of a story. Probably not thread-worthy. But I did need to sort my thoughts a bit, so it was good.