Because it’s useless. I suppose one could throw it at the old bastard if one managed to awaken at the appropriate time, but Saint Nick is a sneaky old bastard.
Not to be a killjoy or anything, but are you sure that the Voyager reruns are wise? It might give him ideas. Next thing you know, the timeline will have been altered so that the events of the past year never happened. Or else he might adapt his sleigh acceleration technology to project you through the warp barrier, causing you to evolve uncontrollably into humanity’s future destiny as a reindeer-like lifeform. Or he might contrive to fuse you and Hermie the Misfit Elf into a single entity, Skermie the Misfit Rhymer. Or he might decide to take you under his wing, mentoring you on your journey of discovery to reconnect with what it means to be human, transforming the rest of your existence into an unbearably sucky wasteland of repetitive tedium.
Santa is under contract with the Walt Disney Corporation to relocate to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, when the average mean summer temperature at the North Pole fails to remain adequately “cold.” The specific temperature is a carefully guarded secret. An artifically cold micro-environment is already being constructed, possibly at the site of Typhoon Lagoon. “Santa,” “Santa Claus,” “His Elves,” the sleigh and reindeer, and all traditional depictions thereof will all become the intellectual property of the Disney Corporation to be used only under official licensing protocols and trademarks.
I’d like to think that was a joke… 
I have not informed myself enough about global warming to get too worked up over it. I remembered learning about it as a child. I remember growing up thinking it was a serious threat. Then somewhere down the line, Penn and Teller, or John Stossel, or somebody started filling my head with ideas that the environment wasn’t as bad off as I had been taught, and I think I wanted to believe on some level. I have had a skeptical seed planted deep down in my belly ever since Al Gore hit the scene.
But today, for the first time, I am worried. I really don’t like the sound of a NASA climate scientist predicting no ice at the North Pole in 4 short years.
This is the perfect escape for parents around the world.
Now we’ll just have to shop to support the troops in Iraq.
Already been tried. This is the result.