I agree. One of our closest friends wasn’t able to attend our wedding (which he’d RSVP’d yes to along with his girlfriend, so we paid for both of them) because some of his family “surprised” him with a trip to Europe as a gift for graduating from podiatry school. They never asked him if he already had plans, they just gave him tickets and said “your plane leaves tomorrow.” It sucked. It would have sucked worse had we asked him to be one of the groomsmen, which we were this close -->||<-- to doing, and the only reason we didn’t is that we didn’t have a girl to balance him out.
oh no, not even close to the only crazy messed up one. relatives and money are murder, sometimes quite literally bloody murder.
keep up the good fight with stating “no” and sticking to it.
In retrospect, it wasn’t bad - although at the time it was horrible. Some people just CAN’T put themselves in your shoes.
I was in this conversation on another message board recently from the other end. Someone was offering the family their Disney timeshare - now the room itself is a generous offer - but even with a place to stay Disney isn’t cheap. And blowing $1000 on Disney park tickets isn’t everyone’s idea of a vacation. But god forbid, she couldn’t see why her generous offer was being turned down. After all, $1000 isn’t a lot of money (plus airfare, plus food, plus…) and who WOULDN’T jump at the chance to spend a week a Disney with their relatives…
My father-in-law is currently looking for one of his daughters to come along with them (he and mother-in-law) on their annual trip to Italy this fall or so. He’s offering to pay their airfare.
Oh, and he’s insisting you wouldn’t be a nursemaid or anything, he just wants your company. Really.
Because there’s absolutely no reason that two people about age 80, one prone to abusing his body via crappy eating and with a history of mini-strokes that he’s in denial about (not to mention unmedicated bipolar disorder), and the other with moderate Alzheimer’s disease, would need any help in a foreign country.
So for the price of over a week’s worth of hotel room, food, and booze to drown their sorrows, one of my sisters-in-law could have that privilege. Fortunately, my husband and I turned them down months ago, and before my father-in-law stopped speaking to us (woohoo!), so we don’t have to deal with the guilt trip.
Don’t really have anything to add, rigs, but I wanted to chime in on the “keep responses short and to the point” side of things. Also wanted to hand you this wet trout so that you can slap him next time you see him.
Well, my bags are already packed for that sun-filled, fun-filled vacation dream! :dubious: Glad you got out of it.
Start the next email with, “Which part of NO don’t you understand?”
Wait! This just in! Sis has written and said that she can “save to buy a house; save for her retirement OR go on this trip”.
I then wrote back (to both) saying that IF we did this type of thing for Dad, then in 2 years, we’d have to do this type of thing for Mom. Fair is fair and all that. I left it at that.
I think I figured out what is bothering me so much (besides the obvious). I have never had any power in my family. I’m seen as the baby (at 47!) still. Believe me, I don’t act like a baby. It’s just that I got stuck around 12 years of age for my older sibs (except for one sister, sadly deceased). Example: when one of our sisters was quite ill in ICU, my brother took me aside to 'splain to me that she may not make it etc and that she was on “the breathing machine” etc. Dude–I was an ICU nurse at the time! :eek: :rolleyes:
So, while I am firm in my resolve to NOT GO, someone who my Bro will listen to has chimed in. I am surprised by Sis’ reaction. Then again, she did say in the email that she wants to talk to our parents about it and see what they say etc., so Bermuda could still happen (w/o us). But at least she is not emailing me with pressure as well.
I’d just stop replying. They apparently don’t read your responses anyway. An alternative: copy and paste your last email to them over and over.
I hear you on still being the “baby sister.” I’m the third of five girls, and my oldest sister not only doesn’t listen to my advice, but she gets mad at me for giving it (in a family situation that affected all of us). All I have is the cold comfort of knowing that my advice was not only prophetic, but it was 100% accurate. Yes, I DO know a few things at 42, thank you very much. I don’t need her to validate me or anything, but I will not be disrespected.
The Engineering and Medical crowds are the less-partying of Spanish students. I’m an engineer; we had three parties in the year we had most. One time we did have a class party and several of my classmates were nagging me about going. The ticket alone cost 1,000pta; I had 60,000pta for the whole year and that had to pay for class books, tickets home…
They kept saying “it’s only 1K!” until I said “are YOU going to pay for my ticket, hairdresser, a cab at 3am, dinner and drinks? No? Then it’s not ‘only’ 1K”
ETA: good on your sister!
Your brother sounds like a, er, very persuasive guy. Could he be up to some other scam here? It sounds to me like he’s working ON your dad to sell the asset, maybe “taking care” of the arrangements for the trip - and it won’t come anywhere near actually costing the entire $50K.
Any other Burn Notice fans out there picturing Nate Weston as the Bro?