I just had stomach surgery, & today was my first BM. Because of my brace, I can’t reach my butt! (huh. They got rid of the embarrassed smiley?). Is there a tool out there that deals with this dilemma? Can I make one out of some sort of utensil? One I can immediately dispose of?
Maybe a medical supply store or small pharmacy carries these in stock
Well, there’s this, and I think you will find other brand that do much the same, but I don’t know how practical or affordable that sort of thing would be for you.
Did no-one at the hospital discuss this issue with you, and prepare you a bit? That’s terrible.
[Incidentally, it seems to me the new embarrassed smiley :o is better than ever (unlike the pathetic new rolleyes :rolleyes:).]
Did no-one at the hospital discuss this issue with you? That’s terrible.
[Incidentally, it seems to me the new embarrassed smiley :o is better than ever (unlike the pathetic new rolleyes :rolleyes:).]
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Oh, I thought that was some unknown Melancholy smiley. But now I see it.
And yes, no one ever brought it up. Maybe because they were wildly impressed with how well I responded after surgery & how perfectly I chose post-op clothes, they knew this wasn’t my first open gut surgery. But the other one was 14 years & 40 pounds ago, & it wasn’t an issue then.
running coach, that looks like what I need. I’ll send long-suffering spouse to look at local pharmacy, or just get some of those spongey bottle brushes for 1-time use until Amazon Prime gets one here Wednesday morning. Thanks!
Oh, I see. Before I read the OP I thought you had gone off and left it somewhere. 
Where’s my butt?!?
Well don’t look at me, I didn’t take it. I have one of my own which works pretty well.
Really? Cause from here it looks like it’s cracked right up the middle.
If anything it works too well. 
That’s TWO Well.
Well, first you need both hands, and a compass. Or at least, that’s what I’ve been told.
as for your problem, running coach already suggested long-handled reachers, as used by those at least temporarily disabled, the elderly, and the extremely obese. (njtt’s solutiuon is more comprehensive but time-consuming and expensive, and I don’t think you’re in a state to install it yourself.
More wipers:
http://www.handicappedequipment.org/tag/wiping-aids/
http://www.elderstore.com/freedom-wand-self-wipe-toilet-aid.aspx
http://www.medicaldepartmentstore.com/Self-Wipe-Toilet-Aid-p/725062000.htm
Incidentally, the ancient Romans used to use a sponge on a stick. These were kept in the public lavatories, washed, and re-used, which strikes me as a squicky situation. Glad I don’t live in ancient Rome:
http://www.objectlessons.org/health-and-beauty-romans/sponge-on-stick-ancient-rome-replica/s69/a349/
You need a goose:
From: Gargantua and Pantagruel, by Francois Rabelais
Read the whole bawdy story: ttp://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/r/rabelais/francois/r11g/book1.13.html
Gives new meaning to “being goosed”
I was attacked by a neighbor’s goose once - why didn’t I think of sticking its head up my butt?!?
Isn’t that what the three shells are for?
Those extension wipers cry out for a slangy name. Turd Tongs?
Maybe that was the original meaning.