I got all excited to watch the Falcons’ game against the Panthers on FOX today. It’s Atlanta’s last game of the season, since they’re not going to the playoffs, and it’s also fairly rare for one of their games to be broadcast here in Memphis, so I was really looking forward to this.
I watched the first half. It didn’t go well, and at halftime we were losing 24-3. Still, I’m not the kind of fan who leaves in the fourth quarter to beat the traffic; if the Falcons are playing, I’m watching.
After halftime, I uncurled form the fetal position where I’d been sucking my thumb and whimpering, and started to watch again.
Hey, wait a second, thinks I, since when is Jon Gruden coaching the Falcons? And how did the score become 17-10?
It was the Saints/Bucs game. They switched games at halftime. I do not understand this; doesn’t the “Heidi Game” rule apply? I.e., if they start airing a game, aren’t they supposed to air the whole thing, even if it’s just the QB taking a knee?
I called my local FOX affiliate. There was only one person in the building, a brain-dead asshole who had no idea what was going on. “OK, who does know?” I asked.
“No one,” she said. (I swear this happened.)
OK. I go to www.foxsports.com. The site confirms that the Falcons/Panthers game is supposed to be on in Memphis. I look around the site and eventually find a phone number. I call it, poke around a labyrinth of phone menus, and can’t reach any live humans to talk to. Finally, feeling extremely pissed off, I figure I’ll settle for leaving a sternly-worded voicemail, having no alternative.
“Attendant not available,” the machine says. I can’t even leave a message.
I sent them an e-mail. Seriously, this has got to be the least-satisfying way to resolve a customer-service issue. I don’t want to send a freaking e-mail! I want to get all testy and self-righteous with whoever made this decision! I want to make threats about withholding my business! I want to make veiled references to “a lot of people” hearing about this, and then put it all on my blog!
What a shitty way to end the regular season, sitting here not watching my team lose. According to the score up at the top of the Saints/Bucs game, it’s now 34-3. Fuck.