Where's second base on a guy?

[aside] for those who may not know, this “bases” traditionally are:
First: kissing
Second: Play above the waist
Third: Play below the waist
Home Run: Actual sex

Usage is in discussion with friends afterward, “Oh, I only got to first base.” …or…
Q: “How was your date?”
A: “Home Run!”

A further aside would be to wonder if the Brits do this with cricket terms…

So, the lady wife and I have had an argument that goes way back to the first time. (note: say this with proper echoed intonations for full effect).

In the midst our our play, she reached first for the nether regions. When we reviewed this later, I said she went for “third base” first. She insisted that, no, she didn’t, since men don’t have “second base” above the waist ours must instead be below.

I insist she did in fact go to third base, thus signalling that our playtime had entered a whole new level. While I fully acknowlege that this is a a silly argument to have, the question remains, Do guys have a second base?

IMHO-Men don’t have bases. We have lift off with a splash down with Houston (the SO), or we have lift off with a manual splash down.

I though the base system was strickly for what the guy does to the girl. Hence if you touched her breasts, you were both at second base.

All your base are belong to us.

My thoughts on the subject.

The “Base” system, as learned in high school, is a simple social/dating tool used by “So Horney It Hurts” teen boys to determine a girls willingness to contribute to the next six months worth of masturbatory fanticies. Anything actually said by one teen boy to another about “Base” success is an obvious lie.

“Bases” used by teen girls and as understood by teen boys is as follows. Any time a girl touches anything (i.e. your car, arm, jacket, the burger you just bought her, her hair, breathes, etc) it means she wants to have sex with you.

It’s fairly simple really.

I always understood the male base system as this:

First: Kissing
Second: Handjob
Third: Blowjob
Home run: sex

It’s the closest my friends and I, after many hours of deliberation could conclude.

Second base is a hand job.

Third base is when you stick your finger up their butt ;D

I generally judge the bases as to what the guy is doing to the girl. Even in highschool, we all have different definitions of the bases. My definitions are:

  1. kissing
  2. playing above the waist
  3. playing below the waste
  4. penetration

You go from kissing straight to handjobs?!

You sure that’s not a ground rule double?

You’re into that too?

I would submit that guys do, indeed, have “above the waist” for sexual purposes. And if you haven’t figured that out, you are missing out indeed.

Don’t “above the waist” and “kissing” sort of fall into the same category?

I enjoy the quote, “Whoever named it ‘necking’ was a poor judge of anatomy.”

My bases are always:

  1. Kissing

1.5 (Almost at 2nd) - “Making out” and over-the-clothes

  1. Manual Stimulation/under the clothes (obviously!)

  2. Oral Stimulation

Home Run: Sex

Premature Ejaculation = Foul ball into the seats

Finish my work? I did that hours ago!

F: Does that feel good?
M: Ooh, yes. So, that’s why I have nipples!

Kid: We’re just necking!
Park Ranger: Yeah? Well, put your neck back in your pants and go home.

And isn’t a golf analogy more appropriate for guys?

There are no bases in cricket. The batsmen just go back and forth, back and forth…well, I suppose that’s something.

I suppose it could go something like this, though:

1 run. “Tickled around leg for a single”
2 runs. “Through the slips for two”
3 runs. “Between the covers for three”
4 runs. "Four"play
6 runs. And since a “six” in cricket is roughly analagous to a home run in baseball, this last should be obvious.

Explanation of the above on request, not that I think it would catch on.

Guys only have one base and your either on it or off, depending if ball is in play.