In sexual terms what is:
1st base?
2nd base?
3rd base?
I assume a homerun is sex?
I’ve heard at least two systems (and it’s caused some confusion between me and one of my friends in the past…)
Both say a homerun is sex, but
System 1:
1st base: kiss/hand up shirt
2nd base: hands meet naughty bits
3rd base: oral
System 2:
1st base: kiss
2nd base: hand up shirt
3rd base: hands meet naughty bits / wet 3rd: oral
For what it’s worth, I’ve only encountered the second system from one person. However, she says it was common where she grew up (southern New Jersey).
I always understood it as:
1st base - Kissing
2nd Base - Breast Fondling
3rd Base - Hand genital contact (fingering)
Home Run - Sex
Another vote for the [Kiss -> Hand-to-Breast -> Hand-to-Genital -> Sex] base system.
In fact, upon a quick poll of friends via AIM, you can add three more votes for that system (and one confused “…‘bases’?” if you’re interested).
Yet another.
1st base: kissing on the lips
2nd base: groping of the body. Chest, butt, thights, breasts
3rd base: contact between the sex organs of one person and some part of the other persons body that aren’t sex organs. Handjobs, blowjobs, fingering, etc
4th base: sex
On Deck - Having plans for a date
Strike-Out - Duh!!
Walk - Kissing
Bunt - Masturbation
Single - Tongue kissing
Double - Breasts/chest touched, some clothes off, lots of grabbing and feels
Triple - Most of the clothes off, genital contact, mutual masturbation
Inside the park home run - Oral Sex
Home Run - SEX!
Ground Rule Double - would have sex, but no condom
Error - Condom breaks during sex
Banned for life for gambling - sex without condom
Hall of Fame - Marriage
Balk - Premature ejaculation
Pine Tar - KY jelly
Relief pitcher - Vibrator
Rain Delay - parents/roommate return home unexpectedly\
Box Seats - Waterbed
Seventh Inning Stretch - Unusual positions
Rookie - Virgin
Switch Hitter - Sex with her one night, and her brother the next.
Minor Leagues - Under 18
Loaded Bases - menage a trois
Grand Slam - Sex three times in twelve hours
Foul tip - VD
Three up and three down - impotency
I imagine “switch hitters” are pretty rare in your system silenus 
I once heard the base system summarised very elegantly as follows:
Hand in hand
It in hand
Hand in it
It in it.
Which is basically just another way of saying kissing, breast fondling, masturbation and intercourse.
You need to stop keeping a box score and get a real life.
A real life? What board do I download that from?
Those switch-hitters, you never know what team they’re playing for.
First–kissing
Second–breast fondling
Third–hand to genital contact
Home–sex
Then you have those who try to steal bases.
How could someone be confused about the base system? I don’t mean about which is which. That obviously varies. But not knowing about them?
I think it’s almost certainly an American system, I think the only times I have heard it used is on American T.V. shows which air in the U.K. That being said I think most U.K. residents understand the principle of the system though we tend to avoid euphemisms and just blurt it out straight.
There I go, being U.S.-centric again. :smack: Upon reflection, I wonder if anyone uses other sports this way.
Good question. How would you adapt the system to say…cricket?
Other than that it would go on for days on end…
I don’t like to brag but we Brits do have legendary stamina under the covers
Sort of a “the Sun never sets on the British erection” kind of thing?
Well, the most famous (and hackneyed) cricketing example was when Michael Holding of the West Indies was bowling to England’s Peter Willey in an international match some years ago. Cue the commentator: “The bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey.” I can’t remember if it is a true story, but I think it is.
And here I thought this thread was going to be about adenosine, taurine, cytosine and guanine.
D’oh! I meant to type adenine, of course.