Some fights just need to happen. (Or discussions, at least–there’s not reason it has to be a fight, per se, at least on your end.) It’s not fair for you to have to put up with this shit just because your husband is counting on your desire to avoid confrontation to keep you complacent with his son stepping all over you. (And I’m assuming it *is *you getting all the extra work of cleaning up after His Highness, and not your husband.)
IMO, husband should have three options: (1) immediately take over any and all extra work that results from his son living with you; (2) persuade son to start doing his fair share of the housework–which may be more than either of you end up doing, because he’s not contributing in any other way; or (3) get his son to move out and start supporting himself.
Dung Beetle, from all I’ve read about your trials with your step kids, you must be the most patient person on earth. I think I would have strangled them all years ago. Hang in there.
Dear uterus:
I realize that you have this thing you have to do every 28-30 days; however, making me feel like I’m going to die from an alien bursting through my abdominal wall is NOT productive for either of us.
Dear OB/Gyn:
I curse you for listening to all the “data” which says that I, as a 41 year old woman, do not have the right to choose to have my uterus removed. I’m sure there’s some logic behind your wanting to keep me miserable, but you have yet to give me a valid reason to keep the unused (and unaccessable due to the tubal ligation) organ.
Dear Self:
Next time you’re aware that Aunt Flo is expected for an immanent visit, PLEASE remember to reload muscle relaxers in your purse. A rusty spoon is an unnecessary (and messy) alternative.
My usual advice to people regarding assertiveness would seem appropriate here; you can’t tell the 19 year old what to do, and you can’t tell your husband what to do, but you can tell them what you won’t accept when it affects you. “When you come home, you WILL NOT wake me up. You WILL NOT smoke drugs in the house since it is illegal and can affect the whole family. I WILL NOT go out of my way to look after you, do housework for you, or bail you out of legal problems. Your father may choose to do so; that is up to him.”
Find a better doctor. And maybe start a thread asking if anyone can share anecdotes about what worked for them–I know I’ve seen at least one other poster here mentioning getting a pre-menopause hysterectomy that wasn’t “medically necessary.”
Um. For a lot of women, orgasms feel different after hysterectomy. The difference for you may be great or small, and certainly you may feel the change will be worth it for what you’re gaining and losing, but it’s still something you might want to at least get informed about ahead of time.
(It may seem unbelievable, but some gyns are positively shy about getting into discussions of sexual pleasure or even opening up the subject as a factor to consider.)
I’m pre-40 for a short time yet, and my gynecologist recommended a combination of a Mirena IUD and an endometrial ablation. The latter is a permanent destruction of your endometrial lining, and is done as an outpatient procedure, IIRC. No more bleeding! I’m very seriously considering it for later this year.
Hey Dung, what would happen if you just quietly stopped picking up the slack for the slacker? So he doesn’t do his laundry. And if you don’t do it … ? He’d have to either do it himself, or Daddy would have to do it for him.
Would that work? (Or have you already tried that, and I missed the post?)
I truly sympathize. I got a coupla cousins who are hooked on smack, and the enabling from their parents is mind-boggling. (“If we don’t give her money, she’ll steal to get it! So we’re giving her money! But waaah! She keeps buying drugs!”) Tough position for any parent to me in, granted, but after a certain point …
I know this is not uncommon practice for the airlines (at least here in the U.S.,) but how the fuck does this make sense? I am trying to book a flight from Charlotte, NC to Harrisburg, PA. on short notice (next week.) The non-stop round trip price is about $950 (because of the lead time, I assume) when normally it runs about $300 - $350. So, in the course of searching for better fares I see that there is a 1-stop fare from Greensboro, NC (about 85 miles from me) to Harrisburg for $350.
Where’s the 1 stop? Yep, Charlotte! As a matter of fact the 2nd leg of the flight is the same one I’d be taking if I went non-stop.
So essentially, I could save $600 by driving to Greensboro, flying back to my home town of Charlotte, and then on to Harrisburg.
This is all on US Air, and Charlotte is their hub, blah blah blah. It’s still ridiculous.
ARRRGH, went to the car to go to work this morning, got in, got a “tire pressure warning” from the little screen thing. It looks like my rear passenger sidewall has been attacked by furious marmots. What the fucking fuck? The boyfriend drove it last and says he didn’t hit anything. It doesn’t look slashed, although I’ve only seen slashed tires on TV. What the hell? And the boyfriend is sick so I know I’m going to be out there this afternoon in the screaming heat changing a tire.
I don’t know, marmots sounded funny. Seriously, the sidewall is absolutely trashed - one spot looks like a sort of flap was dug up with a puncture in it, and one part looks like it got attacked with a sledgehammer. I wish I had a picture - I’ve never seen anything like it.
I had serious issues with Aunt Flo too. It got to the point where I was having periods three weeks out of the month and they were painful, not to mention exhausting.
At any rate, I had the surgery in February and things have been pretty good for me. If anything, I now have a couple of days of light spotting and then it’s over. Such a nice change…
I bet it’s because they assume all the travelers from Charlotte are banker types traveling last minute that are charging the fare back to their companies via expense accounts. And the schmos from Greensboro are just regular schmos chosing by price and can go anytime.
He writes that he 1> read my profile, 2> understands that I’m independent, driven, and know what I want, 3> but I shouldn’t be (in fact it is a character flaw), and 4> if I want to date him, I should change.
Change. For a total stranger on the interwebz. I LOLed.
Even better, he started out with “I’m not an asshole, but…”
Dude, if you feel a need to throw in the disclaimer, then yes, yes, you are. You are also stupid (and desperate?), since you are chasing after women who you know and admit are all wrong for you.
Also old enough to be my father, for an added layer of EEEWWW.
