You have a son that obsesses over Bionicles at the age of sixteen? And you like Broadway musicals?
Perhaps Bionicles set to show tunes in a video play? YouTube?
I don’t own an IpOd or any other apPlE product, although my wife does have a M@Cb0oK pR0 provided by her university.
My music player is a Sansa Clip Plus, which i bought for running, and which i love. And which, unfortunately, is probably also made in some hellish Chinese slave labor camp.
Man, my cousin is the same way. He’s eighteen, or was last time I checked, but he might as well still be ten for all the crap he plays with. No academic or professional motivations, just dicks around with his video games. It’s enough to disgust me, and I’m an unapologetic gamer myself.
Dear supervisor,
I know that since I am your lowly grad student, you expect that I will do whatever unpleasant lab tasks you see fit to asssign to me. I’m okay with that, I really am. You know what I’m not okay with? When one of those tasks is to order semi-expensive lab materials that you know full well I don’t have one sweet clue about! What makes you think I am a good choice for this job, huh? Don’t you think it’s maybe a teensy bit unreasonable to expect a person to order equipment for a test they’ve never done, to be run on a machine they’ve never seen? Because I do. Poo-flinging monkeys would have a better chance of choosing the right things than I do.
This is stressing me out bexause I’m pretty sure you already think I’m dumb and in a couple of weeks you will have further proof of that. But seriously, dude, I am about to spend hundreds of dollars of your research grant on a bunch of useless crap AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!
Grrrr.
Also, I really wish my officemate would learn that when he has earphones in he can’t hear us, but we can still hear him. He mumbles and sings and laughs at his inane YouTube videos all day!
Arg. I’m so damn irritable lately.
Dear skin: Why?
It’s bad enough you plagued me with acne in junior high, it’s bad enough you were pale as a baby’s ass when I was in high school and all the other girls were tanned and gorgeous. I’m at least grateful I can use about 2% of the world’s known population of soaps without breaking out, and I’ve learned to manage my two different kinds of eczema, but why, for the love of god, are you allergic to the motherfucking sun?
This spring, I could maybe handle a day outdoors as long as I slathered on the sunscreen, tried to keep in the shade and rested for 48 hours afterward. Now that it’s summer, I cant fucking do anything outdoors. The 15 minute walk across campus today damn near killed me, though I imagine the fact that I was forced to wear a long-sleeved hooded sun-protective jacket in 94-degree weather probably wasn’t helping. I’m sure those pedestrian double-takes were stares of admiration. :rolleyes: I wake up in pain because my bed is directly facing a window. I feel sick at the end of every day. Now I’m gonna have to buy some shitty curtains and a ton of UV protective clothing and basically spend a fortune just so I can drop off a goddamn movie at Blockbuster. And I’ll be hot and miserable while doing it.
Fuck this shit. What I need is a panacea. I want to play outside.
I work nights. I sleep days. I live in Vegas, in the desert, where it’s 100 degrees high on the coolest summer days, and frequently over 110.
My wife turned the air conditioner off because she didn’t want to waste electricity while my son played outside, while I was asleep, in the hottest part of the afternoon. I woke up cooking in my own sweat. What the fuck was she thinking?
olives, please tell me you’re the kind of vampire that fries in the sun and not the kind that sparkles? Please please please?
No sparkles. 
That would at least make it kind of worth it.
That took a while to read. I’m now hungry and need a sAmmich.
You’ve been cramping on and off for a week now. Do you think you could just get over it already? All this ibuprofen can’t be good for my stomach.
For someone who’s so touchy about a word, you sure do mis-punctuate your sentences. Or you’re from the U.K., in which case your CJ would probably explain this irrational hatred of “sammich.”
Does nothin’ for me.
BRB making myself a fishhook bra.
I would attend Wimpleton. I would attend Wimpleton so hard.
I just had this problem. Fortunately, knowing the quality of people who work in corporate America, I was able to safely assume that “CST” meant “CDT, and please reserve me a drool cup.”
I’ll trade you for my cousin. He’s, uh, 25? (younger than me but older than my brother, so 24-27), never finished high school (although maybe he got his GED–I can’t remember if he ever completed what he was working on), and recently knocked up his apparently batshit-crazy *and *stupid girlfriend (whom, thank god, he has no intention of marrying).
Perhaps you can enlighten me: where in that quote is the “mis-punctuation”? I’ll give you a hint: it ain’t there.
No, it’s there - “mis-punctuation?” Punctuation goes inside quotation marks.
ETA: And outside brackets. 
Not all punctuation. But the US standard (unlike UK usage) is that periods (and commas) always go inside quotation marks, which I assume is what Shot from Guns was referring to.
Oh, is that what she’s talking about? It’s perfectly acceptable usage. I find it odd that she who rails against prescriptivism would engage in it herself when it suits her. But I guess that’s bound to happen when you perceive a personal attack because somebody calls out baby-talk slang that you happen to hold dear.
Alrighty-then.
Why do I get a wasp in my house every time I open the back door to let the cats roam free in our cat-proofed yard?
Orthography and vocabulary/speech are two very different things. The former is an artificial construction created to represent speech visually, and is highly subject to rules to ensure readability. The latter is natural and is not subject to those same rules.
That’s my mini-rant for the day. People who conflate word usage and grammar with punctuation usage and spelling. They do not fall under the same umbrella.
That all said, I’ve got no personal problem with how you used the punctuation. 
But think of the irony when you get pregnant between now and then.
And all you pendants, go ahead, talk about misuse of the word “irony.” I double dog dare you.
You’re right - “prescriptivist” was the wrong word. Still, “punctuation Nazi” sounds a bit harsh. However, being anti-prescriptivism, I’m sure she understood the point I was making regardless.
I thought your use was like rain on a rainy day.
I just realized those are not actually the words, but the words my friends and I sang to mock Alanis Morrissette (followed by “It’s a free ride in the commuter lane”), which have been ingrained into my memory of the song so deeply it didn’t even look wrong to me.