Aaaahhh, if I had anything juicy, I totally would. She’s just … annoyingly incompetent, y’know? She’s been here less than two months and already blown through much of her time off. She was hired to be an executive admin, and she’s already fallen asleep in not one, not two, but three of the meetings she attended. She argues back with her superiors when told to do something a certain way. I had to sit next to her during a rather grueling 3-day training session, and she asked the most inane questions possible. (And I found out she got the equivalent of a C- on the test.) She’s twice the age of anyone else in my office, and half as reliable.
Seriously. We can do better.
Oh! Oh! Okay, I thought of one: She went to her car to take a nap on her lunch break.
And was AWOL for the next THREE HOURS.
Technically, she was in the office. Verrrrry technically.
The minute that I decide to walk to M&S and buy myself some sort of delicious lunch, the skies opened. So now I’m having tomato soup and scowling at the window. Damn rain.
Dammit, people, if you want to arrange a parentage test, the least you could do is make your own damn phone calls! I am sick of trying to talk to your friend or your mama. Ten times out of ten, they either don’t know the true situation or they forget to tell you not to show up here chomping on a wad of gum. Who the fuck doesn’t set up their own appointments?!
We want to scrape the cells off their inner cheeks, and chewing gum (as well as eating, drinking, brushing teeth, etc.) tends to wipe those cells away. If given a chance, I ask people to abstain for an hour before their appointment.
We can use blood, but we don’t have a procedure in place to collect it at this time.
In which case, “The same kind of people who are the right combination of promiscuous and careless enough with their birth control that they need to test parentage.”
We just moved in to this building in the summer, and have had lots of crickets, skeeters, moths etc in the office, and a few millipedes crawling around the floor.
This morning, as I am by the coffee maker, making my tea, and chatting with a colleague, he squishes two bugs, and cleans up the remains.
I go back to my office and there are several millipedes crawling around on the floor - so I kill them, that’s about 5 in my office. I happen to glance up and there’s 5 of the fuckers on my ceiling! :eek:
I leave my office, head to the front desk, have the receptionist call for pest control, but I know its not happening today.
I get back to my office and now there’s only 3 on the ceiling, but I kill 3 more on the ground. I am at this point completely squicked out, cannot concentrate to save my freakin’ life. I email the boss to see if he’ll let me use his office while he’s out (after peering in through the window to inspect his ceiling). Before I can even hit send #3 falls onto my desk, like 6 inches from my drink.
I moved to the conference room, until I had his ok to move into his office for the day. No more bugs in my immediate vicinity that I can see, but I have a good case of the heebie jeebies, probably for the rest of the day.
Why the hell can’t any of my DVD players just pop out the DVD when I press the eject button, instead of spinning the disc around 200 times making all kind of stupid whirling beeping sounds, and make me wait twiddling my thumbs?!
I’m 43. I have an 18-month old baby boy. Out shopping with the wife and baby last weekend, I was sitting on a bench while Mrs. Yankee was in a store. An older (60-ish) Southern gentleman sat down on the bench and asked me, “Is thatchyour gran’ baby?” Harmless enough, but it bummed me the fuck out.
