Which is better, a monkey with a jetpack or a horse on a trampoline?
As with all such questions, context matters. What circumstanmces are you considering?
That said, I can think of far more problems resulting from the monkey + jetpack than for the horse thing. More problems for me, that is. I know enough to stay away from a horse on a trampoline, but a monkey with a jetpack can more easily get to you.
Just in general, like.
Has the monkey been taught not masterbate while on the jetpack?
I promise nothing.
The idea of a horse on a trampoline is very disturbing. How did the horse get on the trampoline? It seems like you would need a small crane. Plus, I think it might fall through, like the cow did on Scylla’s elephant-proof pool cover.
I am against horses on trampolines, so in that sense I think a monkey with a jetpack is better. Besides, the monkey isn’t going to be able to figure out how to use a jetpack.
Which would you rather have: nine $1 bills, or ten dollars’ worth of nickels?
Jet packs are super-cool technology, trampolines are pretty pedestrian.
Horses are pretty common in rural PA, whereas monkeys, not so much.
Therefore monkeys with jetpacks are better than horses on trampolines.
Horses being ridden by monkeys with jetpacks and 1920’s Style Death Rays on the other hand would be pretty hard to beat.
I’ll see your horses being ridden by monkeys with jetpacks and 1920’s Style Death Rays and raise you, horses being ridden by monkeys with jetpacks and 1920’s Style Death Rays while visiting the Marinaris Trench.
Singing “Rio” by Duran Duran, for the Straight Dope Monkey Fun Trifecta!
If a monkey was flying around in the jet pack, it’d be too busy to fling poop. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if it learns to dive-bomb…
Will they be flying with snakes on a plane to see the bunnies in the road?
I’d rather a cat on a JATO, but I can’t decide which one to ‘volunteer’.
True but I think that is the whole idea behind the jet pack. Monkeys don’t need to fling if they are moving fast and above everything else.
10 dollars of nickels. I can always use them in parking meters, and they woudn’t be too hard to change into dollar bills when I swing by the bank.
As to the crucial monkey-with-jetpack vs. horse-on-trampoline question–I’d go for the monkey with a jetpack, because, using your superior brainpower, you could find some way to get the jetpack from the monkey. Shooting the monkey with a tranquilizer dart and then taking the jetpack would work, I think. Then you’d have a jetpack, and that would be cool. You could sell the monkey on craigslist or donate it to the zoo or something.
On the other hand, if you got the horse off the trampoline, you could have a horse and a trampoline, both of which are very cool. In my case, I couldn’t really take advantage of either, since I have nowhere to stable the horse and no yard or big room where I could really enjoy the trampoline.
HOW DARE YOU, SIR?!?!?
Everybody knows that a horse on a trampoline would be extremely dangerous for the horse, in all likelihood resulting in a broken leg. Again I say, how dare you. Why do you hate America?
A monkey with a jetpack, on the other hand, is just good clean fun.
Monkey with a jet pack is more manoeuvrable, but stinky and cheeky
Horse on a trampoline is more majestic, but herbivorous.
Both combinations pale into insignificance in comparison the the Earth as a giant turtle egg.
I vote for jet-packing monkeys and brollies and pith helmets for us earthbound unforunates. 
I would pay upwards of $3.50 to see the monkeys with jet packs.
Only about $1.00 to see a horse on a trampoline.
I assume that ‘monkey with a jetpack’ is a reference to Bush
I’m not sure what the ‘horse on a trampoline’ refers to