With being single you can do what you like, stay out all night, not have to be bound to someone, be your own person. Many like this option.
But you can also get lonely at times, and wish you had someone to love, or hold, or touch, or kiss.
With a relationship, you have all this, you are loved. You have caring and feel warmth. It’s nice, and there could be a future, Or is one now…
But you can also fight. Have someone who gets jealous. Have someone who beats on you. You have the risk of hurt, Love hurts at times. And the pain is deep and scarring. You have the chance they could lose interest, or sleep with someone else.
So which is ultimately better?
It looks like the relationship may be. Everyone wants to be loved.
But really, seriously think about it for a bit before repling.
After all, many who are commited and even married right now say they wish they could be single again.
So what about you?
What do you think is better?
Two great things in life worth having are youth and experience. Unfortunately, the more you have of one, the less you have of the other. This is one of the hallmarks of the human condition.
Two more great things worth having are emotional intimacy and personal freedom. Same problem.
All told, being in a relationship is healthier and, as far as most people are concerned, a large part of one’s personal fulfilment. However, most people who’ve been around the block a few times will tend to agree on one point: being in a good relationship beats being single, but being single beats being in a is a bad relationship.
Obviously, the ultimate “right” answer is: whatever works for you.
The question then truly becomes “what is YOUR definition of ‘works for you’?”
Mach Truck offers a POV which shows that single is working.
For me, I can’t imagine not sharing my life with someone, and if I was single, would only be so for as long as it took to find a compatible partner. To me, what is life if I don’t have a partner (and close friends) to share it with? I respect and appreciate the discipline demanded by being in a working, open relationship where we both want to put the relationship first and therefore have to look to ourselves to compromise and support each other. It is a source of growth for me. Commitment puts demands on me that help me to grow, even when I want to fight the commitment.
Being in a relationship can force, or at least encourage, you to grow and become a better person: it can make you less selfish, smooth off the rough edges of your personality, open you up to new perspectives and experiences. That’s certainly been my experience. On the other hand, being single can also force you to grow: it can make you more self-reliant and able to take care of yourself, allow you to be who you are rather than who others want or expect you to be, and free you up to pursue your dreams. A case could be made that everyone needs to spend some time alone and some time in relationship in order to become a complete, mature human being.
I wholeheartedly agree with ianzin’s “being in a good relationship beats being single, but being single beats being in a is a bad relationship,” and with Mach Truck’s “depends on the person.”
Personally, I am single right now, definitely enjoying some aspects of it while suffering through others, and hoping I don’t stay single for too terribly much longer. When I come to the end of my life, I think I will have fewer regrets if I spend more time in relationship.
For me the answer is clear: in a relationship. In my mind your definition of relationship with all its ups and downs eraltes to my children as well as my gf. That is, they reduce to some extent my “personal freedom” in that I cannot simply run out and do whatever I want whenever I want.
I do not see that as a restriction however. I simply see it as a different set of priorities that I have made for myself. In lieu of going out and partying at bars, I can stay at home, make some popcorn, and play Uno or Monopoly with the kids. I feel much more fulfilled doing these types of activities at this point in my life.
It’s funny you made this thread, It’s Saturday night, my kids are at their moms and my gf is visiting her grandma in WI. I have the car, the night to myself, and some money in my pocket. I went and saw the Matrix and am thinking about going out for a pint later but I’m not chomping at the bit. I might just stay home and chill out, this must be what getting old is like, eh?
I feel free even with all the time constraints on me. I have made choices and I am very happy with them.
Its more fun to be in a relationship. You feel better emotionally, you can get touchy/cuddly with the person without any questions asked, and you can have fun with them.
But on the other side, every time I personally have been in a relationship, inevidably two other guys ask me out, and I have to tell them that Im already taken, and then they go off in a huff. Its like a curse. :rolleyes:
But other than that, being in a relationship can restrict your freedom, but it can also help you build up something more lasting than just a friendship.
I’ve never minded being single and I don’t mind living alone.
What’s hard is having someone break up with you to be with someone else. There’s nothing quite like the pain generated by the knowledge that the one you love is in the arms of another while you still care for them.
When this happens, for me anyway, there’s a period where you can’t even imagine being with anyone else. So you’re stuck with all those crappy feelings of rejection and jealousy to deal with all by yourself.
Bad break-ups like that tend to make you wary of getting involved with anyone else for fear of getting hurt again.
That’s when, again, for me anyway, it seems like all the guys come out of the woodwork and ask me out. As difficult as it is to forget about the one who dumped you and enjoy someone else’s company, it appears to be, as my Mother used to say, the best medicine for a broken heart.
Knowing someone cares for you, even if those feelings aren’t reciprocal, sure beats the Hell out of feeling all alone in this world.
I think it should be mentioned that there is a great difference between being ALONE and being LONELY. The two are not nessacarily one in the same, and in many cases are totally unrelated. You can be damn lonely withen a relationship(not a good relationship) and you can be quite alone but not be lonely at all.
I like being single as long as I’m getting laid. However, if I hit a dry spot; it kinda makes me wish I had a girlfriend. The same is true also when my apartment gets to be a mess. It would be nice to have a girlfriend clean it up for me.
I prefer being in a relationship. I like it that someone loves me and I love them, and they’ll always be there for me. I’d rather be single then with the wrong guy though.
Once upon a time, I thought that I really wanted to be in a relationship, and it would make me happy. Now, I’m not so sure. Yeah, sure I want to be loved, but I want to be loved for who I am. If the guy can’t accept me for who I am, and tries to change me, I will leave. I’d rather be single than in an unhappy relationship. The last relationship I was in, the guy didn’t respect the fact that I was religious (he wasn’t), and couldn’t handle the fact that I am extremely commited to my work (no jokes here about how I should be commited ;)). This is the guy who called me “naughty” for working on a Saturday afternoon when I had deadlines to meet. I was unhappy, I felt unappreciated and used.
So, I got out of the relationship. I’m going to repeat what practically everyone else has said in that ianzin has hit the nail on the head -
