Me either, almost. I only recognized the first name on the list, J. L. Hewitt, and I couldn’t pick her out of a lineup.
For some reason this makes me feel smugly self righteous.
Yes. That magazine has an uncanny ability to find gorgeous women and take pictures that unerringly fail to capture it. I can picture the photographer, working Austin-Powers style, encouraging them during the shoot. “Okay, look into the camera; now, you want something, desperately, and you have no idea what it is.” It’s an aesthetic that I refer to as “aggressively vacuous”. I hope it doesn’t catch on (more than it already has).
I think it’s this, combined with whose picture will sell the most Maxim Magazines this month.
Tastes vary, of course, but in my universe, Halle Berry would top the list year after year after year. But she’s over 25? Hasn’t made a movie lately? Sorry, babe, we’ve moved on.
Megan Fox is skanky and harsh-looking, but for whatever reason she’s the flavor of the month with the 18-24 demographic these days. That’s all this list is about, really. (Though I’m afraid I can’t explain JL Hewitt.)
Others who should be on the list:
Scarlett Johannsen
Beyonce
Yvonne Strahovski (Chuck)
I don’t know who I’d kick off the list, but I’d have to make room for Mélissa Theuriau and a flight attendant on SkyWest Airlines named Jenna.
I think we’re the same person, because I think pretty much exactly the same thing. I haven’t noticed Dushku’s weird mannerisms, and don’t care about her voice either way, but those droopy eyes kill everything for me. Also, J. Love Hewitt looks like a horse, and Mila Kunis is gorgeous.
Please note that I am going stir crazy with the flu and am watching My So Called Life for the first time on DVD and why isn’t Claire Danes on the list and I’d really like to go get a sandwich, but I can’t leave the house and go cough on people and spread the creeping malaise. Also, the numbers on the list are actually the womens’ rank subtracted from 101, but I don’t know how to get the SDMB (powered by vBulletin) to print a numbered list in reverse order, and the following coding is really easy to do in Excel so it’s not like I’m all that compulsive.
[ol]
[li]Deanna Russo - nah, but Filipino martial arts intrigues me[/li][li]Melissa Rycroft - OK[/li][li]Rebecca Mader - yes[/li][li]Marisa Tomei - OK[/li][li]Olivia Munn - be mine, sweet Olivia[/li][li]Padma Lakshmi - OK[/li][li]Yvonne Strahovski - nah[/li][li]Michelle Obama - nope[/li][li]Joanna Krupa - not a good shot of her; she should be around #20[/li][li]Chelsea Handler - ugh[/li][li]Roselyn Sanchez - yowza[/li][li]Jamie Chung - not for me[/li][li]Diane Kruger - yes, please[/li][li]Summer Glau - be mine (don’t mind Olivia – she’s helping me fix my PC)[/li][li]Ali Campoverdi - OK[/li][li]Michelle Trachtenberg - Babe-raham Lincoln[/li][li]Minka Kelly - OK[/li][li]Whitney Port - cannot decide; please to take off pink laundry bag[/li][li]Emma Watson - photo doesn’t show her man hands[/li][li]Heidi Montag - yes, but you must bring me a sandwich[/li][li]Jamie Gunns - OK[/li][li]Jaime King - OK[/li][li]Danica Patrick - not for me[/li][li]Stacy Keibler - yes[/li][li]Cameron Richardson - nah[/li][li]Tricia Helfer - scares me; willing to risk it, though[/li][li]Amanda Bynes - crazy eyes[/li][li]Ashley Tisdale - OK+[/li][li]Camilla Belle - nope (like I could do better?)[/li][li]Gabrielle Union - OK[/li][li]Maria Menounos - OK[/li][li]Jennifer Morrison - um, my sister’s married name; cannot comment w/o seeing my therapist[/li][li]Ashley Greene - thank you for getting my sister out of my head[/li][li]Emmy Rossum - meh[/li][li]Emma Stone - probably has sharp knees[/li][li]Amanda Righetti - yes[/li][li]Diora Baird - that picture is a crime; she’s pretty[/li][li]Milla Jovovich - LOVEd her until I heard her commentary on Ultraviolet[/li][li]Heidi Klum - “Warm, soapy shower with Heidi Klum” - 'nuff said[/li][li]Dania Ramirez - OK[/li][li]Carrie Underwood - disqualified; will not swallow the sausage[/li][li]Ana Ivanovic - again with the man hands[/li][li]Miranda Kerr - yes[/li][li]Audrina Patridge - yes[/li][li]Amber Heard - makes parts of me tingle[/li][li]Christina Milian - OK[/li][li]Rachel Bilson - OK+[/li][li]Kim Kardashian - what’s she doing on this list?[/li][li]Beyoncé - eh[/li][li]Sienna Miller - schwing-worthy; bad photo[/li][li]Taylor Swift - OK[/li][li]Freida Pinto - I can’t judge this picture, because I have images of her back side bursting into flames[/li][li]Arielle Kebbel - should be in top 10; criminally bad photo[/li][li]Katie Cassidy - OK[/li][li]Nicole Scherzinger - OK[/li][li]Fergie - doesn’t do it for me[/li][li]Avril Lavigne - maybe. I don’t know.[/li][li]Elisha Cuthbert - yes[/li][li]Nikki Reed - no[/li][li]Nadine Velazquez - yes again[/li][li]Lily Allen - may be a robot[/li][li]Anna Faris - lip injections already?[/li][li]Charlize Theron - more, please[/li][li]Cameron Diaz - yes![/li][li]Hayden Panettiere - maybe![/li][li]Anna Kournikova - no![/li][li]Scarlett Johansson - okay, maybe[/li][li]Blake Lively - total babe[/li][li]Ciara - that’s not a real name[/li][li]Hilary Duff - thank you for growing up not like Lindsay Lohan[/li][li]Penélope Cruz - most definitely[/li][li]Zoe Saldana - she can translate my Romulan any time[/li][li]Danneel Harris - yes[/li][li]Vanessa Hudgens - get in line behind Mila Kunis[/li][li]Angelina Jolie - EAT A SANDWICH, DAMMIT[/li][li]Julianne Hough - yes[/li][li]Eva Mendes - yes again again[/li][li]Lindsay Lohan - this is your neighbor’s pet dog on drugs[/li][li]Kate Beckinsale - pretty; dangerous[/li][li]AnnaLynne McCord - no, thank you[/li][li]Moon Bloodgood - maybe[/li][li]Chan Marshall - OK (but I typed it as IJ, so maybe she’s jinxed)[/li][li]Marisa Miller - please meet me behind the garage[/li][li]Britney Spears - I’m just scared of you. please don’t kill my family[/li][li]Gina Carano - yes+[/li][li]Katy Perry - you are no Zooey Deschanel, but you have caught my attention[/li][li]Christina Aguilera - cutie; bad photo[/li][li]Jessica Alba - be my Valentine[/li][li]Leighton Meester - yes[/li][li]Jessica Biel - please to take off clothing now[/li][li]Jennifer Love Hewitt - bring me a sandwich; then go[/li][li]Jordana Brewster - yes, but[/li][li]Rihanna - nope[/li][li]Adriana Lima - creepy eyes[/li][li]Eliza Dushku - yes, maybe, I don’t know[/li][li]Mila Kunis - marry me[/li][li]Malin Ackerman - pretty, but won’t leave Sitka, so what’s the point?[/li][li]Bar Refaeli - also gets me tingly[/li][li]Megan Fox - why? just go out, bring Zooey to me and then eat a sandwich with Angelina[/li][li]Olivia Wilde - yes, but she gets demerits because she’s not top ten material[/li][/ol]
Good grief I’ve only ever heard of 4 of those people. I must be getting old.
Yes obviously this is nothing more than a publicity-driven thing (I think I’ve seen all of these ladies as Maxim covergirls in the past year), and obviously it’s silly to try and rank the top echelon of the beauty world without a rigid set of criteria, but I have to say none of these women would be in my top 10. They all have great faces, which is a big deal, but there are women out there with great faces who also have serious bodies. There are several pornstars I’d rank above any of these.
I didn’t even recognize half the names, but seriously… Jennifer Love Hewitt?
Evidently you need to be famous to make these lists (although it’s a bit of a circular thing), but half the girls in my class are prettier than she is.
Hmph, they left out all the women on this list.
In fairness, Kate Beckinsale was on the “100 Hottest…” list, she just wasn’t in the Top 10. Otherwise, I agree.
Obviously a list like this is very, very subjective, so I usually don’t get very incensed by anything I see. However:
[ul]
[li]Padma Lakshmi is all the way down at 95!? Really? She may not be the most dynamic personality to grace the television screen, but that woman is unvelievably gorgeous.[/li][li]Amy Adams, Allyson Hannigan, Kristen Bell, and the Deschanel sisters got robbed (they could have at least made Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry co-entries).[/li][li]Cheryl Burke should be the “Dancing With the Stars” pro on the list, not Julianne Hough.[/li][/ul]
I concur…this thread lacks Amy Adams, Kristen Bell and Allyson Hannigan and therefore lacks all credibility. And Kari Byron.
Yeah, so I’ve got a thing for Geek Queens, so sue me.
No Alizee? Dumb list.
No Salma Hayek? Even dumber list. BAH, I say, BAH!
My take, as a person keen on females: if they can’t hold a conversation, they’re not hot. Megan Fox can’t talk reasonably about her own fingernails let alone anything of any merit. Olivia Wilde has a problem with reciting the technical medical dialogue on “House” and that’s given to her on a piece of paper and probably cue cards too. Jennifer Love Hewitt, Mila Kunis, Eliza Dushku and Rhianna are adorable but about as bright as the lightbulb in my microwave.
I voted every single member of the top ten right off the list. When come back, bring intelligence.
Holy crap, I can’t believe I forgot Salma Hayek! I concur 120%.
This is the magazine that has a Hottest Nerd Crushes list which does not include Kari Byron, Morena Baccarin, or Jewel Staite. Clearly, they are not to be taken seriously.
And I just hate, hate, hate those gimmicky lists that make you click for each result. It’s a cheap way for web sites to pad their hit counts by making their users suffer. Bah. And get off my lawn.
It is passing strange that, when listing Charlize Theron on that list, they show a picture of the Aeon Flux cartoon. I expect there was a lot of weed in teh office that day.
I put Mila Kunis and didn’t realize I could choose more.
Jennifer L-H is not diamond-melting hot, but she’s your hot friend with the big boobs.
No list is complete without Jennifer Connelly
Looks like Love Hewitt has taken the booby prize. (I promise I did not intend the pun when I began that sentence, but now that it’s there I refuse to disavow it.) I need a volunteer to deliver the bad news and comfort her as appropriate.
The reason people like Salma Hayek aren’t on the list is they’re not well known to 19-year-old douchebags, Maxim’s target market.
If I had to take one name off the list it’d be Kunis. She’s pretty, but has a boy’s body. Next to go would be Eliza Dushku, who has a great body but isn’t pretty. To be one of the ten hottest women in ANY group of 100, you have to have both. (It gets worse as you go down the list, though; AVRIL LAVIGNE? She wasn’t the hottest girl in her high school English class.)
it’s silly from the get go, since it can’t be the 100 Hottest Women. It’s the 100 Hottest Women Who Are Known To The American Entertainment Industry, Are Presently Marketable, And Whose Publicists Are Doing A Good Job. Obviously, the 100 Hottest Women according to Maxim probably wouldn’t fill out much of the 100 Hottest Women at any reasonably mid-sized university. I’ve dated women hotter than some of those women, and I’m ugly. I’ve had vastly hotter women serve me in restaurants. I once had a stewardess on an Air Canada flight who was - and I assure you no heterosexual man alive would disagree - hotter than any woman in this Top 10.
But Maxim can’t take pictures of every woman on earth, and nobody’s getting paid for running articles like “Lisa H. Williams of Wellington, New Zealand, an HR generalist for Smith and Sons Die And Tool Inc., is the hottest woman alive.”