White Khakis Plus Chocolate Chip On Office Chair

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Yes, I just had to have that damned chocolate chip cookie from the office vending machine this morning. Few crumbs and noticed a chocolate chip fell on the chair between my legs. Tried to brush it off the chair. It’s warm in the office today, so there was no brushing off chocolate, it became a nice smear. Stood up and saw the big mess.

Now it looks like I crapped my chair, and if I sit on it, it will really look like it is time for me to invest in a package of Depends.

I spy the chair of a co-worker who is out sick today. Figure I could just change chairs and…but I believe in Karma and decided against that plan.

Go to kitchen to get cleaner and some paper towels. Come back and clean chair. Actually, chair is now cleaner than it has been in years.

Quite proud of myself, I go into the kitchen, put back the cleaner and paper towels and wash my hands. Water comes out faster in the kitchen than in the company bathroom.
Forgot about that.

Now it looks like I peed the front of my pants.

Quickly dash back to my desk.

I am sitting here typing this, and hoping it dries before someone calls and I have to go to their office.

2

And the moral of the story is:

Never, ever wear white pants.

OR

Never, ever eat chocolate chip cookies while wearing white pants.

OR

Never, ever use the sink in the kitchen while wearing white pants.

OR

Dang! If I’d just stolen my co-worker’s chair none of this would have happened.

So much material here!

3

What about white jeans? Or should those be ceremonially burned? :smiley:

4

Your pants are doing their darndest to embarass you today. I bet if you were to walk by a fruitbowl a large, stiff banana would fall into your pocket.

5

Well, I had to do battle the other day with chilli debri and a white shirt in the mens room using the kind of napkins that leave rolled up debris on material when you rub and the hand dryer. All this between random entrances of fellow employees whilst trying not to look like an idiot trying to clean his shirt because I can’t open a tupperware container without spraying whatever is on the cover all over myself.

6

A 2" stiff banana would be more embarassing.

7

This would be a good day to actually crap your pants and piss yourself. It can’t get much worse, so let loose!

8

Crapping and pissing yourself is overrated. That’s why we eventually grow out of it when we’re 2 or 3 years old.
Plus, you have to clean the car seats when you get home.

9

Would some white out applied to the scene of the smear help? Do you have an emergency sweater to tie around your waist?

As for the front of your pants, just sit behind your desk and rub the wet spot, furtively. No body will notice you.

10

Wait a second.

How can “khaki” pants be white? Why aren’t they khaki? You do know that khaki is a color, right?

[/Rod Stewart on South Park]

Poop my pants!

[/Rod Stewart]