Drain, forgive me. I was in the process of composing my thoughts while you posted yours. I didn’t “fucking ignore” your post, which was directly above mine. Nor am I incapable of comprehending basic English. I understood it the first time you posted it, just as I understand it now, the seventeenth time you’ve posted it.
In case I am NOT clear on what has transpired, though, let me re-cap. Provided, of course, my pea brain can handle all this at one time:
Our heroine, Drain Bead, came to our hero, Satan’s, aid after he was unceremoniously dumped by another poster, who will henceforth be known as "fuckface. Anyway, while comforting our distressed hero over fuckface’s impending betrothal to another hapless male, our hero and heroine developed “feelings” for each other (wink,wink).
Anyway, (enter ominous dark clouds) things were going along dreamily, until the demonic villain, Whitetho (not to be confused with our demonic HERO), made the UNFORGIVABLE error of reporting to us all that Satan and Drain were an “item.” Oh, the inhumanity!! In addition to this, Whitetho made an impolite joke about their budding relationship. (Though, in Whitetho’s defense, the words “re-bound” never passed his lips.)
Needless to say, our hero was so GREATLY angered over this…this…this reporting of the TRUTH that he immediately mounted his white steed (Oooh! Visuals!) and defended his new lady’s honour. (Though, for the record, I’ve never met a lady who used THAT sort of language!) He slayed the dastardly villain with his rapier-like tongue. Then Drain kicked Whitetho repeatedly in the virtual groin for this gross violation of her anonymity, this electronic raping of her privacy. Satan, ever the master of his emotions, then opened a new thread and vilifed our villain once again, declaring that he wanted his relationship with Drain to be private!! DAMMIT!
And because no punishment can be too harsh for gossiping about his girlfriend (well, his current one, anyway. Former ones are fair game.), Satan strode over to Great Debates where he crucified Whitetho ONCE AGAIN, (and, incidentally, ignoring the idiom to not beat a dead Whitetho. :)) He called Whitetho every horrible name in the book: “Fucking Columbo!”, “Asswipe” “Moron” “Idiot!” “Have you ever said anything worthwhile?”
The melee continued when a couple of innocent bystanders pointed out (correctly) that our hero and heroine may have over-reacted just a tad.
Now the innocent bystanders are cowering in the corner (and waving gleefully, btw, exasperating our heroine even more), waiting for their turn at the unofficial Straight Dope firing squad, where the riotous crowd will disembowel them in effigy for having the AUDACITY to call a spade a spade…
The END,(or don’t we all wish?)
