41, married, two dogs. Agnostic. Antisocial (except for the husband and dogs). College educated. Office job. I enjoy reading, surfing the internet for interesting things, and own a roleplaying website.
I can’t remember ever wanting children. My time is my own and I like it that way; I never wanted to give that up. Plus, if I had had kids during the prosperous years, we’d be totally screwed financially by now. So I don’t regret a thing.
I’m 30. My husband has an 8-yo from a previous marriage but I have no biological kids. I’m educated, not religious. At the moment, I don’t work. I spend a lot of time running and I volunteer at a local eating disorder clinic. There are a lot of things I love and want to get better at. I draw and paint. I do and write crosswords. I sing. I knit. I want to learn how to use a sewing machine, how to garden, how to identify bird songs. I’m an aspiring writer and I read a lot.
The only times I feel I might want kids are A) when stepson is acting particularly cute/sweet, or B) when I’m at some parent event where I’m the only non-mother and they’re all talking kid-stuff.
I’ve never particularly wanted kids. I never got to the point where I imagined it. Other women seem to feel a pull and, other than social/peer pressure, I’ve never really felt that pull. I always just assumed I would, of course, meet a partner who wanted kids, so I’d have kids someday. But it was more of a fact of life than something I looked forward to.
But what I’ve realized about parents is: when you have young kids, your WHOLE LIFE becomes parenting. It seems like the parents of young kids that I meet don’t want to talk about work, or (adult) books, or (adult) movies, or music, or the wider world, they just want to discuss things like what summer camp is coming up, or what the kids are doing, etc. And you can’t go out and do things unless you find a sitter. God forbid they have to stay home sick-- which working parent is going to watch them? And sometimes, they even sleep in your bed! Uh, no way!
FTR, I had a great stay-at-home Mom who was a teacher and wanted to be a parent and made it her life. And a great Dad who spent a lot of time with us and seemed to enjoy it. But you have to want it to be your life, and you have to want to enjoy it.
For me, I have a stepson 50% of the time, and that seems like just enough. He tells me he loves me, I give him big hugs and a different perspective on life, and when the tough questions arise, I get to say, “go ask your father”. It works for me! In fact, if there was no ex-wife in the picture, it would be perfect 
Female, 45 (today), never married, degree in ChemE and work as an IT consultant at the international level, no pets, religious, not very sociable (being with other nerds doesn’t tire me, but sorry, I just find discussions on home decoration, cars or the bowel movements of children and grandparents extremely tiresome), hobbies have to be limited to whatever I can do wherever I happen to be so tend to be portable (reading and gaming are two big ones).
I never “knew I didn’t want children”, but I knew I wasn’t hellbent on having kids to the detriment of having a professional life or regardless of whether they’d live in adequate conditions. Some of my classmates talked about “when I get married”, I was in the “if I ever get married” camp. I knew I didn’t want to make children with a man that I wouldn’t trust to raise them right if I wasn’t there, or to be able to take care of them and me if and whenever I got sick. I also used to be terrified of being as bad a mother as mine, her sister, the mother of both of them and several others on that side of the family - eventually I realized that would not be the case; I would probably still not have been the greatest mother ever, but I would never have had their attitude of “I gave you your life therefore I can screw it any way I want”. At one point I met a guy I might have married and have had children with if we’d been better at communication, I often refer to him in these boards as The Bestest Boyfriend.
I co-parented my two brothers, at one point being in charge of the whole household (while not being able to make any decisions - not the best of conditions), I’m the second eldest of a dozen cousins, and I was one of the oldest children among my parents’ group of friends, so it’s not like I missed on the whole “kids experience”; currently I’m the aunt of a boy (who’s also my godson) and a girl, both by the brother who’s 6 years younger than I am.
I’m a PhD statistician, she is currently a home maker although looking to start working part time from home. Both of us are 41 years old. Married for 7 years.
I’m an atheist, she is an agnostic but very spritua person who is strongly attracted to the Catholic saints and ritual.
We own 2 cats. We’re pretty much homebodies although we go out with eachother or to vist friends now and then. She likes gardening (roses in particular) I like cooking.
My wife is suffering from a very painful neuromuscular disease of unknown origin, which we under no circumstances want to pass on. This would also make pregnancy and child care very difficult for her. So we decided at some point between engagement and marriage that we wouldn’t have kids. Each of us occasionally has thoughts that it would have been nice to have kids, but overall we both think we made the right choice for us. It also helps that our very closest friends now have a 3 year old so we can enjoy watching her grow up.
I’m 37, divorced, working on finally getting the college degree. Boyfriend is 41, never married, former Army now working in telecommunications.
We each have two nieces and one cat. Neither of us are particularly religious. We like going to hockey games and watching racing. I like to bake, he likes to eat what I bake. 
I’ve never been pressured to have kids, the only people in my family who have ever said anything at all to me about being childfree are my aunt and uncle, who are childfree themselves.
As far as having kids goes, I don’t dislike kids, I love my nieces and his. But there was never any burning desire to reproduce. And now I have some “female” issues that would make getting pregnant difficult, so it’s a non-issue at this point.
I’ve been pressured all my life. Part of the problem is my culture expects women to have children; it’s part of my duty. Part of it is just nosy people. I have had a couple of mothers look at me with naked undisguised envy after I told them I had no plans on having children! And just recently (last month) I had someone tell me I should have kids because it grants you a new perspective!..on kids. Seems like a circular argument to me.
I’m a 35 year old female and married to a man who is 41. We’ve been married 4 years and together for a total of 7 years. We are both corporate professionals and social people. I wouldn’t say we are overly social but we have many friends and family we see often. We are not church goers but wouldn’t say atheist either. We have one dog and two cats. We like working on our home (we are old home history people), travel for leisure and some volunteer work. We also love dinner with friends and family. We don’t have any childhood trauma that would result in not wanting children due to a bad childhood.
I have never felt maternal. I can’t explain it but I just haven’t. During our engagement we talked about children. I told him, fearing I could maybe lose the love of my life, that children weren’t in the cards for me. I wanted him to have full clarity going into the marriage about that position, as for some people children are part of their life goals. He told me he was ok with that and the most important thing to him was a strong, solid marriage and he didn’t want children either. We have talked about kids since then but really to make sure we both, individually, haven’t had a change of heart. I know people can change but we are both still child free and happy with that.
I am fully supportive of those who want and have children. My heart breaks for those who want children but for various circumstances cannot have them. For us, it’s been a conscious choice that we are happy with.
People call it selfish and say we will change our minds. People also ask why we got married if we didn’t want children or who will care for us when we are old. We are far from selfish, haven’t changed our minds yet and got married because of our strong friendship, love and respect for each other. When we’re old and frail, our life will be ok without kids too.
I’m mid-thirties health professional. While I’m a kid at heart (I am nostalgic for cartoons) I have very little desire to raise kids. I have one cat. For my relatives overseas they really do shame me for being childless (and most of them have never achieved my level education, a doctorate). I just think the time/effort to raise kids and I don’t want to be the one who puts their children in daycare/fulltime nanny all day as I’ve seen others who have to do to get ahead in their careers.
As for kids taking care of their elderly parents, my mom’s family friend has Parkinson’s and her husband has been the primary caretaker. THey live overseas but their two sons live in U.S. They couldn’t be a burden to their sons as they have started their own families…
This is not an American only concept as a study came out recently about the falling birth rates in South Korea and Japan…it is just too much burden and the Japanese have a similiar-to-nursing-home idea. Elderly communities that live together and having the state pay for healthcare/right of attorney/funeral plans.
Kapeterson, I’ve always found it funny for people to think that it’s selfish to not have children like you mentioned. I never understood what aspect of it is selfish, not wanting to share your DNA with the world? If anything I think that it is more selfish to have children when you think about it in terms of resources of the planet being used on the human being you just created.
I am soon going to begin a full-time career where I help people, ranging from 6-20+ people a day (depending on the work site.) When I think about it, I’d rather help out a group of people -people who are already born, lived lives, and are trying to get therapy/recover from their accidents- rather than spend the next 18 years on just one human being. (And what if I spent the next 18 years only to have raised an asshole? That would suck.)
I think that stems from the notion of being “selfish” for spending one’s life and resources on oneself.
I am child-free for two reasons. Firstly because I have no maternal instincts whatsover and therefore have never wanted children, and secondly because I can’t afford to support a child for the next 18 years.
There are enough people in this world who seem happy to fire out kids with no visible means of support, and expect the state/taxpayer to feed and clothe them. I have my own opinion of people like that, and I don’t intend to be one of them.
I guess I can understand that but…as opposed to having a child that will not only spend your resources but also continue to spend resources long after your death? Just seems weird to me.
IMO it really stems from people not being able to understand why someone else might do something different with his/her life. There’s a default assumption that having kids is something you do because it’s the done thing.
48, was married for twenty years. Good, well paid job. Extrovert with very active social life and wide circle of friends - mostly child-free too, as it happens.
When I was young I just assumed that I would have children… one day. Then, when I’d been married two years, I was chatting to a friend who had married a guy that had a vasectomy. She said she knew whe would never have children when she married him. And it hit me. Bam. Like a lightning bolt. Real Paul on the road to Damascus stuff.
You don’t have to have children.
And that was that. I thought about older friends and relatives and whose lifestyle I admired - and they were all the child free ones. I thought about the fact I’d never been comfortable around babies - ever. Both my sisters had babies about a year later and I didn’t even want to pick up my new nephews.
Later that year my husband had a vasectomy and I’ve never regretted it once.
Female late 40’s
Twice divorced
One of the things my Mother told me weekly (and sometimes daily) was how wonderful her life was before she had kids; how wonderful her life would be if she didn’t have kids. Her actions mirrored these pronouncements. My father’s actions were the same as her’s. Despite their attitudes I dreamed of having my own kids from a very early age. My sister is four years older. She married at 20 had 3 children in 4 years. When I was 22 my sister’s husband committed suicide 6 months latter she left her kids with a baby sitter and NEVER returned. Her children were abandoned twice. The day she told me what she did I knew I would not give myself an opportunity to be a bad mother. I told my fiance what she did and that if he wanted kids I would release him from our engagement.
I made the choice to never have children and I know it was the right choice for them.
Yes, but it’s not your resources, so it’s not you being selfish, it’s your child.
It all comes down to what the meaning of the world “selfish” is anyway. I think it’s kind of silly. Neither is selfish, everybody just does what they want to do.
I knew I didn’t want children from an early age, perhaps ~13. I was raised Mormon where marriage and motherhood is hammered into young girls heads from a very young age. I never liked children or babies and I really hated the gender segregated roles in the church. I became disaffected with Mormonism around thirteen years old but forced to attend until I was sixteen - which made me really hate Mormonism. Since then I have come to peace with it all, but I still never wanted children and the thought of pregnancy and childbirth totally repulse me (not other people experiencing it, just myself).
I am 36 and work in clinical research. My husband is 40 and works in healthcare administration. I told him when we were getting more serious in our relationship that children were not something I ever wanted and he agreed. We have discussed it a little bit since then, but always come back to remaining childfree. We are both fairly social, non-religious (I have a strong aversion to organized religion due to my upbringing) with a cat and dog. We’ve been married almost six years.
I have nieces and nephews who I enjoy very much and that is enough for me!
People often use the word “selfish” to describe Childfree people, and that just makes me shake my head. I don’t know of anyone who had kids for any other reason than that they wanted kids - isn’t that the definition of selfish? I’d be just as happy to call a moratorium on anyone using the word “selfish” in any discussion of anyone else’s reproductive choices. 
On a side note, I’ve been giving some thought to the age-old question of which is more painful – chilbirth or a kick in the nuts. I think I can prove a kick in the nuts is the more painful:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “I was thinking it might be nice to have another child.” On the other hand, after a year you never hear a guy say, “I was thinking it might be nice to have another kick in the nuts.”
Eh, I think it’s the desire for another child, not the desire for pregnancy and childbirth. You don’t really get anything from a kick in the nuts (unless that is your fetish). Women generally suffer through pregnancy and childbirth because they get a baby at the end of it all.
Maybe a better question to ask is if men would consent to a hard kick in the balls in order to have a kid. I think men who genuinely desired a kid would.