=^_^=
I’m another one of those who doesn’t want kids. I honestly don’t think I’d be a good mother. Sure I’m good with kids, but I don’t have to deal with them 24/7/365. If I change my mind, well, that’s fine.
A brief but good one from some unremembered Doper:
“I am unable to bear children”.
I know you’ve got a boyfriend, but I think I’ll let this board crush develop a while longer.
I wonder if it would be as effective if you amended it with, “especially the loud, whiny ones.”
Good. If she asks what happened say “oh, I could have a child. I just can’t bear them. Such atrocious little monsters, don’t you agree?”
How about, “I don’t have children, but if you happen to have any extras lying around I could probably use them for spare parts.”
or
“Not yet, but as soon as Igor finds a good brain I’ll be in business.”
Answer: “But that would mean I have to turn over.” 
People asked me shit like this in Bulgaria CONSTANTLY. (Actually, the #1 nag was “when are you going to find a nice Bulgarian boy to marry?” I only ONCE lost my shit over this, something I am really proud of.) Factoid: Bulgarian doesn’t have a word for “privacy”. I’d actually be interested in adopting if my life ever becomes more stable than it is now, but I don’t really see it happening, and I’m okay with that. Also, it’s no one else’s business but my own, but that reasoning doesn’t fly too well in the village. (Where *everything *is everyone else’s business!)
Anyway, a friend of mine in the village started going on about how I needed to have children and perpetuate the species, blah blah, and I told her that I didn’t want the species to perpetuate, that I *hoped *that humanity would go extinct.
Yeah, that sort of halted the conversation.
Sniff I’ve never been prouder of the fact that we share a birthday than I am right now. Sniff
That’s just daaaaaaaaa-yuuuuuuuum funny sis!
I personally don’t like children. I’ve yet to find someone who can cook them properly.
I have recently discovered a very effective response to rude, unprofessional, bigoted, or ignorant questions and comments in the workplace:
“Shut up”.
It works every times.
Wow, I don’t understand rude, nosy people like that.
Nobody is less of woman because she chose to not bear children. That’s just assinine.
I didn’t think I ever wanted kids and, in fact, was told I couldn’t have any due to some er…medical problems. Along came my daughter…she was quite a surprise. I wouldn’t trade the life I’ve had because I’ve had her and my son, but on the other hand, if I wouldn’t have been able to have kids, it wouldn’t have bothered me.
We all make choices that work for US, not others. I would have told that nosey-parker to STFU. That’s just me, though…
A sister-in-law of mine, who has two kids, years ago told my husband (her brother) that (I may be paraphrasing here) “You don’t grow as a person until you have children.”
Fast forward years to her dealing with her late-high school/college-age kids, and she tells my husband, “Remember when I told you that you don’t grow as a person until you have children? Scratch that. You don’t age until you have children.” She went on to say that if this was the right choice for us, then that was great.
Why is it that you refer to children in such derogatory terms?
Are you serious, or am I being whooshed?
What in the part that you quoted do you find so offensive?
I don’t find it so much offensive, but:
and
‘Crotch Fruit’
are both fairly derogatory ways to refer to children.
Says the guy who bragged about shoving people in another pit thread. Hilarious. Yes, people who stand around blocking things are annoying but shoving them demonstrates you are a blink away from an ape, and unable to keep your body parts to yourself.
The OP has said she likes children, just doesn’t want any. I think she may have been using those terms in irritation and because this is The Pit. I think they’re pretty funny, but I don’t like children.
On a related note – so you know it’s not just your cunt of a coworker – at our COO’s funeral, the preacher apparently (I didn’t go, thank Og, or I would probably have caused a scene) said “it’s too bad <COO> was barren and couldn’t have children. It’s nice that she had pets, they’re almost as good.” This is a woman who donated HUGE portions of her (rather large) salary to the local animal shelters, programs that teach orphans about caring for animals, etc and asked that in lieu of gifts for her birthday or Christmas, anyone wishing to do something nice for her should donate to such a cause. I may be a “breeder” but I respect other people’s right to not have kids. In fact, I often dream of having a MSD (Mobile Sterilisation Device) to use on people like the fuckstain you work with.
It was bad enough that she asked in the first place. Rude as hell but sometimes even well-meaning morons can have lapses of sense. To keep pushing and then harangue you about your reproductive plans? Pure jerkitude. No possible excuse. That wasn’t a happy, jolly brain-fart moment. Your coworker is a cunt.
My favorite reply, the few times somebody was foolish enough to push about my not having kids, requires a flat, dead-level stare right between the eyes. The important thing is not let your face soften even the least bit. Then just one sentence: “Since we are not friends it can’t possibly concern you.” Turn and walk away. Any attempt to return to the subject nets the jerk an icy stare and a wordless…turn and walk away. Game entirely, permanently over.
It’s amazing how many pushy, officious assholes assume you’ll still like them no matter how offensive their behavior. They think people still owe them courtesy and consideration for their feelings. Pushy, aggressive assholes rely on catching polite people off balance. Telling this cunt “none of your business because you are NOT my friend” is perfectly legit, and polite for that matter.
Make her squirm, pbbth. If she gets defensive, even better. There is no defense, socially or in a workplace, for her little pro-creation act.
Jesus, it’s rude just to ask if someone has kids now? I imagine the average doper walking around with a rape horn and blowing it in the face of everyone who comes near your “bubble”. Everything is so rude and offensive to you people.