Who else tried a chair dance?

Well, all I can say is that it sounded like a good idea at the time. I’ve been dating… let’s call him David… for almost two months, but for one reason or another, things never quite got all the way to-- ahem-- “that next level.” I already had Carmen Electra’s “How to Do a Chair Dance For Your Man” DVD. So I practiced it and put on this lingerie I had, and when David came over on Sunday night, I told him to close his eyes, and that he couldn’t open them until I said he could. I led him to the computer room (the only that had enough space for this) and put on some 60’s soul or other, and told him he could open his eyes now, and, well, did the chair dance. I think it went well, and the initial response from David seemed promising.

At first, it seemed like everything was going great, but let’s just say that when push came to shove, it didn’t exactly work out because… can y’all just use your imaginations here? Something ended up not rising to the occasion after a few minutes.

For about a day, I felt like I’d made a total fool out of myself, prancing around to “I Need Your Lovin’” in black lingerie with a chair. I felt like I’d NEVER try anything like that again-- just really humiliated. That’s the LAST time I ever take advice from Carmen Electra. By now, I really don’t think I did anything wrong. But what I’m wondering is, who else has tried doing this for an SO? What was his reaction? Has anybody ever had this happen?

Personally, I find it very uncomfortable and embarrassing when someone performs “at” me, particularly if it’s someone I know. I still remember having a new boyfriend sing me a special song that he wrote as three of the most excruciating minutes of my life, and not because it was a bad song, either. I just don’t know what to do with my face, never mind any other parts. Probably he was working too hard to look appreciative to relax enough to actually get excited. It was a sweet idea, but some of us are just uptight about that sort of situation.

I think you need to talk to him and find out why that didn’t work. It may well work in the future.

Like on me.

Well, if it’s any comfort, and I suspect you could use some comforting right now - Yes it’s happened to me.

I gave it my all. I truly did. With wanton abandon I flung myself into poses worthy of a centrefold. I was on fire. Full of desire. And . . . he laughed. Yes, laughed!

I do believe in retrospect that it was embarrassment factor noted by cher3. But honestly, almost anything would have been better than laughter.

I don’t know if it rose - I no longer cared. I haven’t done anything resembling provocative (intentionally) since. I wonder if he’s having a good life?

Sorry about that, Anise. Funny thing about those things is, well, they have a mind of their own. If we had any sort of control over them, we would have them leap to attention when called into service and have them wait at least 45 minutes before blowing their top, not to mention have them not be at attention when called up to the chalkboard in 7th grade math class. I reckon the divorce rate would be lower, as well, not to mention lower consumer debt and fewer barroom brawls. Of course, men would also have to think with their big head exclusively, which I hear is quite painful.

Speaking as a man … sometimes things just don’t come up. Don’t overreact to this. There’s no reason to feel humiliated. Those things have minds of their own. From age 11 to 16, I had to walk with a book in front of me because it never relaxed.

Maybe his problem is the reason that things never got to that level, and your dance had nothing to do with it?

Or maybe that kind of thing isn’t in his list of fantasies. It isn’t in mine. I don’t think it’s anybody’s fault.

I wouldn’t do it unless asked for it, because that kind of thing makes me feel silly. Some have asked, but I haven’t had the chance to do it yet.

Hmm… I’ve done my share of dancing (chair and otherwise), stripping, and downright illegal-in-36-states public physical seduction, but only in the context of an already at-that-level relationship. Perhaps it wasn’t entirely appropriate for a first time. Too much pressure.

Scratch that. *Definitely * not appropriate for a new relationship. No way am I working that hard to get laid in a brand new relationship. I’m a chick, I don’t have to. :wink:

That said, I wouldn’t worry too much about the lack of response. I *would * wonder why things hadn’t *already * arrived at “that level” **if ** there’s been opportunity and you’ve been open to it.

Wow.

I can’t speak for all guys, but if a woman I was dating tried something like that, I’d find it really dumb.

If he stood outside your window with a guitar and tried to serenade you, would you find that funny? Or romantic?

It’s too unnatural and fabricated to get it up over. I’m not going out with a performer. The thought of someone I LIKE doing that. . .it makes me embarrassed for them, like if you know someone doing stand-up comedy, and they’re bombing. It gives me that feeling.

I’m sure that Carmen Electra thinks the world should operate like a strip bar. Most of the rest of us don’t.

If I find you sexy, you don’t need to do that. If I don’t find you sexy, then doing that is probably going to make it worse.

I agree. I can think of several reasons why things might not have gotten to “that level” yet, and in very few cases would surprising the guy with a “chair dance” have overcome the obstacle.

Was it anything like this? If so, he’s one lucky guy!

I think Cheryl Sotu watched the Carmen Electra DVD, too. The moves looked quite familiar.

Anyway, I guess this goes to show that you can’t always believe the kind of advice they give in Cosmo articles, where I’m sure I saw some author urging women to do this. I KNOW why things haven’t gotten to this level yet, and all I’m going to say is that it’s HIS issue, not mine! That having been said, as someone else pointed out, it’s deeply painful to do something like this and then to have it not work the way you’d thought it would. It makes me wonder if I should EVER have given up on that eighth-grade idea about becoming a nun.

Nah, but perhaps you should give up on the more recent idea of dating David.

I read somewhere that the articles about what men want in Cosmo are created by a bunch of women, who then find some guy who is ordered to endorse what they came up with. Once in a great while someone brings one home, and I look at what is supposed to turn me on. 99% of it is bull, except for the very obvious things like sex is good.

+1

"Over the decades, Cosmopolitan has printed literally thousands of sure-fire techniques for driving men insane with passion. If these techniques actually worked, by now the entire male population of the United States would have been wiped out by lust, literally exploding into little mushroom clouds of vaporized bodily fluids.

… men don’t need much. Using a complex, sophisticated technique to get a man excited is like preparing a gourmet French meal for a Labrador retriever."

-Dave Barry

I had one done for me once. She and I were both 17, passionately in love. It’d already reached “that point”. This was a total surprise, out of character for her and quite elating.

Then my Mom busted us… :smack:

Cartooniverse

Whether or not it was that I wanted my date to do, just the fact that she was willing and making this sort of effort for me would be a turn on.

For me, if this sort of thing happens early in the relationship, I find it pretty hot. (But for rekindling a flagging relationship, I wouldn’t recommend it.)

Since it sounds like you are early in the relationship, I’m at a loss. How old is the guy? (Y’know, after a certain age maybe the plumbing just doesn’t work as well.) Is there any doubt that he views this as a romantic relationship?