It’s Trunk’s cheese.
[typical Doper]
I’m sorry, but that fart left much to be desired. The quality of farts in the United States is far inferior to the authentic and unadulterated poots eminating from the arseholes of Europeans.
[/typical Doper]
Eh, it was a so-so fart. For volume I give it a 5, for rankness a 4.3 for an overall grossness factor of 4.65. Ain’t nobody gonna make the Olympic team with a score like that. :dubious:
It was Arty Farty, he had a party.
All the farts were there.
But Tootie Fruity laid a beauty
So they all went out for air.
Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more,
Snoopy laid a big one at the grocery store.
Twelve men died trying to hold their breath;
He let out another one and killed the rest.
Don’t look this way…mine are all about volume, but they have no potentcy. My ass can rattle windows, but I can’t create a stench to save my life (or take others).
If you farted in a deserted forest with no one around, would that fart still smell?
It was me. I had a bowl of Kashi Crunch for breakfast.
There is a component in Kashi that, when mixed with hydrochloric acid, produces a gas of near-lethal potency.
I did, actually! A couple nights ago…
I was getting ready to take a shower and had just stripped down… it was a hot and sweaty day and my butt was, um, kinda damp. My husband walked past me and I gave him a nice lil’ naked hug, and then it happened…
Bwop-fap-fap-Braaaaap-FAP!!
The sweat enhanced the fart’s acoustics and path of travel, producing a truly amazing staccato effect.
Needless to say, I didn’t get any that night.
Thank God we don’t hold our farts against each other, or me and the missus would never have sex.
Yuck.
Grudge gas.
**Better to bear the shame than hide the pain. **
Although, my kids disagree with me and I’ve been warned that if I ever even think of farting in front of one of their friends that they will replace my hair shampoo with Nair :eek:
BTW - Mr. Adoptamom actually had to teach me how to fart. In my first marriage, I would quickly go to the bathroom or another room to let a squeaker out. Mr. Adoptamom said he wasn’t hiding his, so I’d best learn how to fart in retaliation. I have, and he suffers
man, the stuff we talk about on this message board
TACO HELL!
I fart with impunity.
It’s good for clearing out the customers. 
Well, my firstborn son is still two months from making his appearance, yet my wife is already blaming him for the mysterious foul odors that manifest in the bedroom.
Therefore the cat has been off the hook lately. He thinks that’s just keen.
It is I, I must confess. I had salad for lunch yesterday; salad for dinner last night; baked beans with light kielbasa, carrots & snow peas, and cherries for lunch today. Please stay at least 5 feet away from me at all times. Do not approach me with any open flame. I will not be held liable for consequences.
They should make fart filters. . .
Pull Cecil’s finger.