Who invented the rubber...

Duckie?

Ah, yes. The well-known and much beloved rubber duckie. I was in one of those bath and home type super stores, Men’s Hell I think it was called, and found myself surrounded by these rubber duckie products. They were everywhere. I find them quite creepy in an evil-clown kinda way. Just what sick bastard designed them? Does he get royalties? Is he thinking up other creepy stuff? Will they ever stop haunting me?

Don’t know who invented 'em, but Ernie (of Sesame Street fame) had a disturbing ditty for his – “Rubber Ducky.”

Rubber ducky your the one/that makes bathtime lots of fun/Rubber Ducky I’m awfully fond of you!

And this comes from a guy with a hand up his ass.

…and spends just a * little * too much time with a guy named Bert


“…send lawyers, guns, and money…”

 Warren Zevon

And I have photos of Bert with Hitler. I’m sure some of you have seen them. But the vile scum that created the Rubber Duckie… I don’t even like saying it. Let’s just refer to it as the RD. Maybe it was Hitler! SS…a trend?

Bert WAS Hitler! Henson convinced him to shave his 'stache (and velcro it to his head)and helped emmigrate him from Brazil in the '60s.

Henson finally gave him a forum to influence America’s youth. Ernie had the duck, Bert had the… pidgeon!

Have you ever seen Bert “Doin’ the Pidgeon”? It’s eerily similar to the stiff, knee-locked marching of Nazi stormtroopers.

then explain the picture of Bert WITH Hitler. They didn’t really have that kinda photo doctoring technology back then. Or did they?