Who is more fly? Herbert Kornfeld or Smoove B?

[Mr.Cynical]

Personally, I think that Smoove B is the true mack.

Please be prepared to back up your argument.

[yojimbo]

While I read up on Smoove B ( haven’t really being reading the onion much lately ) , could you translate what “the true mack” is .

Talk to ya soon .

[Max_Torque]

Dude, no question, Kornfeld kicks big-time ass. Smoove B, while pretty damn smoove, just don’t compare.

[yojimbo]

Ok , I could only find 2 Smoove B stories(?) this and this and I have to say that Herbert and his homies in Accountz Reeceevable beat Smoove into the ground .

Herbert has brought me to tears and made my stomach hurt. Smoove B while being funny no-where comes near to the level of hilarity Herbert hits consistently.

All that aside just look at his picture and put it with his words, it’s near genius IMHO.

[mouthbreather]

Herbert inspired my first SDMB sig line.

He is the REAL MUTHAFUCKA. Smoove B would git his ass BLASTED, he better learn sumfin.

The reason HK is the shit: He may be hard as FUCK, but he’s still got the soft spot.

Sure enough, last Thursday, the shit with Tech Support went down when I made this hardcore, dope-ass image for my desktop. Man, that desktop image was the shit. I went down to the Marketing Department and used their scanner to scan this picture of a forest with tha inscription, “Attitudes Are Contagious… Is Yours Worth Catching?” You ain’t kiddin’, muthafucka! I saved it on a disk and loaded into my computer, so when I reboot, I get this muthafuckin’ dope-ass shit on my desktop instead of that goddamn Windows logo.

Smoove B, pfft. Wack-ass bitch. HK would chew him up.

[DoctorJ]

Tha H-Dogg be down wit Smoove, but he betta not be fuckin’ wit him or his Accountz Receevable posse, or mackin on they bitches, or tha H-Dogg and his Letta Opener of Death will fuck his Smoove punk ass up wit a quickness, true dat.

Docta J

[Mr.Cynical]

[smoove b]
Baby.

I will caress your ears with my lips, whispering the sweetest words you can imagine. You will be wet. I will get you a pair of slippers, and a satin gown with a soft, warm lining. I will walk you to my balcony, overlooking the city. There, we will taste the finest champange that is made, and enjoy ripe strawberries with it.

Then, I will bend you over the rail, and hit you doggy-style.

You will make noises you did not know you could make. You will renounce Herbert Kornfeld as a wack fool. Then, you will climax, and it will be divine.

Ooooh, baby. You know it’s true. Give it up for Smoove B.

[/smoove b]

[Lawmill]

Smoove B says:

I will then provide you with fine dining. We will consume a meal at the finest four-star restaurant in the city. We will be served lobster, oysters, caviar and cheese. I will order this meal in French, which will make you wet. We will be served fine wine, french bread and corn. It will be a meal for a king and queen.

  There will also be cloth napkins.

I really like how he goes into these detailed, flowery descriptions. Then, the next sentence is just a basic fact. I’m glad that he recognizes the importance of the cloth napkins.

Jim Anchower is pretty good too, although only one of his entries is currently up.

[Boris_B]

I must say that I wholeheartedly support Mr. Kornfeld. In all my years I have never met a fresher individual, nor a flyer one.

For instance, when a whack-ass temp attempted to infiltrate Accountz Receevin, Mr. Kornfeld showed him some tough loving. Kornfeld has an undeniably fly desk - possibly they flyest I have ever seen - and he keeps it neat. And finally, Kornfeld is an excellent family man. While I am not actually a member of his posse, I would be honored to become one.

Mr. B, on the other hand, is merely a sweet-talking rake. Oh yes, he seems like a gentleman, but in reality, I believe there is a very subtle lecherous side to him. Far be it from me to speculate on someone’s inner motives, but I get the very strong sense that he desires the attentions of women to satisfy nothing but his basest carnal desires. It pains me greatly to imply that he may engage in immoral, non-marital activities of a physical nature, with women who should probably know better, but I can remain silent no longer!

Thank you for taking the time to peruse my views on this important matter.

• Mr. Boris B (no relation)

[Smeghead]

Man, anyone who lernt his accounting skeelz on da street deserve da love.

[Zarathustra]

Contrastin’ quotations, y’all.

Exhibit A, Herbert K (from “Cash Room Bitch Be Havin’ My Shortie”):

It be 5:30 on a Friday, an’ I be punchin’ out when Agnes motion to me to comes into tha Cash Room. I be lovin’ that shit, ‘cause just ‘bout every Friday afta work I be gettin’ my mack on wit’ one o’ tha Cash Room honeys, sometimes all four of they at once. “Get outta that office casual wear, hos,” I say, an’ soon we all just be one big heap on tha floor, suckin’ an’ fuckin’ like there ain’t no tomorrow. Hell, yeah. It’s all gravy.

Exhibit B, His Eminence, Smoove B (“I’ll Treat You Right”):

Let me explain something to you. I’m from the old school, you understand. I’ll treat you right. There ain’t nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for you, baby. You know what I’m saying?

  When you and I go out to eat, I'm gonna pull out your chair for you to sit down. This is a classy maneuver that means I respect you and know how to treat you right. And during our dinner together I'm gonna be whispering in your ear a sweet stream of compliments regarding your exquisite beauty. "Baby," I'll say, "your lips are like a luscious, red ocean of desire. And my lips will be like a boat upon that ocean." And any other variety of compliment.

  And when it comes down to making love, I'm going to touch your body like it's never been touched before. I will remove my hat upon your request, because that is the right thing to do. I will be remembered as the best lover in your life, because I treat my lover right. And when I'm making love to you, I will say, "Ooh, sugar... Yeah... Mmm... Mmm-Mmm... Damn..."

  "You are mine," I will say with a warm smile. Then I will rub your feet for several hours in front of the fire while we listen to Keith Sweat.

  When we go to the park, I will whisper to you, "My sweet baby, your eyes are like pearls and your hair is like moon beams." I will caress your hand. And I will then get on my knees in front of the park bench and say to you, "I am your man. I would do anything for you, baby. Anything at all." I will then present you with a beautiful diamond. This is how you will be treated, because you are my special one and only.

  Baby, you look so good right now, I wanna get freaky with you right here on this table.

Let’s hear a word from tha ladies: Who be da man?

[Mr.Cynical]

Precisely, Zarathustra!

Smoove B has what the ladies need. Indeed, they should be the judges of this debate, and all of us opinionated men merely the presenters of evidence.

[cmkeller]

Herbert Kornfeld is the main MF.

Did any of you guys see Me, Myself and Irene? The three black guys who played Jim Carrey’s “sons” strike me as the Herbert Kornfeld type.

[Coldfire]

I says da H-Dogg be winnin’ this shit hands down, motha fucka

[Lux_Fiat]

Let us be precise with our street terminology. I submit that Smoove B is more fly. However, Herbert Kornfeld is doper.

[Mr.Cynical]

So, if I undersatnd the terminology correctly, Smoove B is more FLY, but Herbert Kornfeld is a Hard-ass O.G. with enough mack to pull a truck?

[Lux_Fiat]

Right. And Smoove B’s got more funk than a boys’ locker room.