Yesterday at work, I was in the smoking area talking to a friend who works in the Human Resource Depatment. I was discussing the fact that my husband has just gotten his lump sum payment from Social Security, and that now I can afford to sign up for 401K contributions again. In the middle of the conversation this smart-ass guy I barely know overhears “disability” and asks what’s wrong with my husband. I told him he has congestive heart failure. This complete and utter asshole says, “Have you picked out a casket yet?” I was completely floored! It upset me so much I had no comeback.
Didn’t your mama teach you ANY manners? Oh, I suppose the bitch who raised you didn’t have time for such amenities, with so many men shuffling in and out of her bed… You are absolutely the most heartless, uncaring, goat-felching, crusted smegma-eating, low-life pond scum of a man as ever walked the face of this earth! May you have someone skewer you and roast you over burning coals! Or skewer you with roasted coals! I hope you die a lonely old man with no one to take care of your scabby, parasite ridden, nasty-ass hide.
What a shitbag. What possesses these people? Sounds like he’s bitter about life and spreading his misery around makes him feel better.
I have a friend whose husband died of cancer. Before he was in the terminal stage, a co-worker said to my friend “Honey, what are you worried about? You’ll get life insurance, social security benefits, and all the property will be yours.” I asked my friend why she didn’t knock this stupid cunt on her ass, but I knew she would never have done that, because she’s a genuinely nice and mild-mannered person.
I wish you and your husband all the best.
Would someone please reserve me a seat on the moon rocket to a better world?
What are people thinking? WHAT? TELL ME!
I’m so sorry.
jarbaby
People can be so thoughtless. If everyone would think about what they were about to say before they said it maybe this kind of bullshit wouldn’t happen! Stupid fuckers!
Next time someone says something like this, just say “No we haven’t picked out the casket, have you picked out yours yet?” That should shut them up. Sorry that someone was so unfeeling and uncaring. Most people would have more empathy and understanding. The best to you and yours.
Let’s set fire to him and see if anyone bothers to piss on him to put the flames out.
“Let’s set fire to him and see if anyone bothers to piss on him to put the flames out.”
Well, that’s 50/50. But I would take a crap, so he could eat shit!
In addition to his apalling lack of any shred of manners, he’s also woefully ignorant. Congestive heart failure isn’t always terminal. The pressure can be reduced, and time is bought.
People like him live to be very old. They wind up alone. Picking at the sores that are a result of sitting in their own feces, until one day an errant bit of bacterium kills them as they gum their gruel. They outlive every single kind, wonderful, loving, spectacular, passionate, thoughtful person around them. People like you, Dolores. I’m so sorry you had to witness such filth.
He’ll get his.
Cartooniverse
Have you considered going to this ahem person after you’ve cooled off and telling him straight out how his thoughtless comment offended and hurt you? Cause that might make him feel very ashamed of himself (which he should), and it might make you feel better as well (which is what’s really important here).
Oh, and Cartooniverse is right; there are options for congestive heart failure; I’m sure your husband’s doctors are working with him on the best ones for him.
Or, if you can’t face him, print this out and pass it along.
I pity the fool. Casual, insensitive cruelty reflects so terribly on him.
Hey, hon.
What a jerk. What an incredibly insensitive, unfeeling turkey. Of COURSE you were too stunned to come up with an immediate comeback. Even if you had, he is probably too caring impaired to have “gotten” it.
I don’t like to keep harping on this, but in case you didn’t know, I lost my mom and older brother to cancer one year apart a few years ago.
I keep thinking I should write a book about things you should NOT say to someone in grief. I know that no one knows what to say. I understand that nothing is really going to help, and people are uncomfortable because of this. But just a plain simple old “I am so sorry, and I want to help. I love you…please let me know if there is anything I can do” is so much better than some of the things that were said to me, and to my loved ones.
Someone actually came up to me at my mom’s memorial service and said “I understand you are taking this hard.” OF COURSE I AM TAKING THIS HARD! What would it say about my relationship with my beloved mom if I WASN’T taking this hard?
Then there is my SIL’s “friend.” The week after my brother (he was relatively young) died, Becky’s “friend” said to her. “Well, now you are going to have to find all new friends.” Becky has been friends with this “woman” for many years, and she has almost NEVER been in the same room with the woman’s husband. Their friendship did NOT revolve around couples type gatherings. What, now that my brother was dead my SIL was going to be attempting to steal her friend’s husbands? If you knew her, you would know how laughable this is. She called me up, crying and hysterical. She said she didn’t know what to do, that maybe none of her friends wanted her to be around their husband’s, and what had she EVER done to deserve that? I am not a violent person, far from it. If I had had that woman in front of me, I would have smacked her in the puss.
Around this same time, someone said to me. “So, is Becky going to remarry?” I just looked at them. My brother has been dead for two weeks, do you think she is already looking for a new husband? She can’t get through the day without crying half of it, she is going to paint her face and go who knows where and try to find a new HUSBAND? I had enough presence of mind to use my usual “ExCUSE ME?” line that I always use when someone says something totally out of line, but I don’t know why. (I DID forget to look down my nose whilst saying it, which sort of takes the sting out of it. Do you know how hard it is to look down your nose at someone when you are only 5’4"? Trust me, it makes your point.} I wanted to punch that person, too, but at least they said it to me and not to her.
Well, thank you for allowing me to vent, here. I know I went off topic. I apologize.
And I just saw pesch’s post, and I think it is an EXCELLENT idea.
Scotti
It seems these witless wastes of skin never torment each other…only good people like yourself. I am sorry you had to deal with such an ignoramus…
Also, I do wish you and your husband the best.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by pesch *
**Or, if you can’t face him, print this out and pass it along.
that would probably do it.
just fold it up and label it “asshole” and leave it in his area. He’ll eventually open it as it is addressed to him 
Dolores, my mouth dropped open at your post. Literally, it dropped open. I’m sorry.
Scotticher,
There already is a book out there on the subject. It’s called “Don’t ask for the dead man’s golf clubs [sub](What to Do and Say, and What Not to, When a Friend Loses a Loved One).[/sub]”
Not that you can’t write a better one, of course…
That may be the cruelest thing I’ve ever heard, unprovoked that is. If you guys work at the same company I would say something to your boss. I know it’s snitching but his comment was inexcusable. Maybe you could get his ass canned, if that would make you feel any better.
You could probably get him in severe hot water at work with a remark like that. If I were you I’d complain to his boss, hopefully get him fired. That’ll teach the worthless little whoreson.
I also sincerely wish for the best for both you and your husband. I know absolutely nothing about your husbands illness so I’ll just end there.
Regards
Gomez.
I remember you talking about your husband’s health problems in a thread a while back. I did an AltaVista search on congestive heart failure and found that, as featherlou and Cartooniverse mentioned, there are treatment options, something that I was unaware of.
I hope your husband is one of those whose condition can be somewhat alleviated. And I am glad he got a Social Security Disability settlement (I am now a legal secretary for a lawyer whose specialty is SSD, and I know about some of the process).
Was the person who made that comment to you fairly young, or just tactless? I would agree that it might do you some good to speak with him about it.
My best wishes to you and your husband.
I’ve heard a lot of clueless and ill mannered comments in my time but this goes beyond simple ignorance and lack of manners to some sort of psychological dysfunction or borderline social autism that he would say this.
If you want to put him in his place simply pass the story around at work. Anyone normal person who hears this will be as appalled as we are and shun him.
At least one book has already been written about this. I ran across it in a bookstore a while back, and I believe it was titled something along the lines of Don’t Ask for the Dead Man’s Golf Clubs. It seemed like a really helpful and informative book, but the only problem is that the assholes who need it aren’t the people likely to actually read it.
I want to thank you all for your kind words and wishes. I’ve decided just to ignore the asshole. I did tell a few friends what he said, and hopefully they’ll gossip a bit. My husband (and I) has been living with this for five years now. I don’t go around thinking he’s going to die today or tomorrow. He is on a lot of medications to stabilize his condition. The two treatments that have been recommended are 1) shocking his heart to get it back in rhythm and 2) heart transplant. He doesn’t want either, for reasons which are his to make. He gets around pretty good, and still tries to be active. He’s a scratch bowler, and we bowl 3 or 4 times a week. He gets out of breath very easily, but the people we bowl with are aware, and let him rest when he needs to. One of the worst things (for his self-image) that has happened is he has gained so much weight. It’s very hard to lose, with his metabolism so slowed down from the illness and the medication.
Sorry to go on again. Thanks for all your heart-felt messages. They made me smile!