Who the Hell Am I & Where Did I come From?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I wanted to go ahead and avoid the (possibly) inevitable “wha–who’s this guy I’ve never seen before, and when the hell did he rack up 1500 posts?”

As you can see by my join date, I was here around 7 years ago (with a different handle: Blessedwolf); shortly before the SDMB switched to paid subscriptions, I was laid off of my job, and didn’t want to fork over the cash (secretly hoping for a Grandfather Clause, I was sorely disappointed).
Well, times have changed, I’m back on my feet…or at least knees…and after many years of forgetting that y’all existed, I started lurking again. After seeing threads that I wished I could respond to, I went for a guest membership, and an hour later coughed up the cash. So here I am.

Even though I don’t open “here I am!” threads, I’m making one. Go fig.

So. Here I am. 38 y.o., living in Tallahassee, FL. My Pelvic Affiliate (let’s call her “Swampwitch”) and I have been living together for almost 3 years with her two kids. Her ex lives in town, and even though he’s a lying, cheating, lazy sonuvabitch, he and I get along really well. He’s a good guy, a decent father, but he was a lousy husband.
I call him my babydaddy. Mostly to see the looks on other peoples’ faces.
I’ll probably do some bitching about Swampwitch in time; she’s crazy. Real, honest-to-Og been in the hospital Crazy. But I love her, and I’m as patient as anyone could ask for (but I’ll be venting here). Turns out, her Rapid-Cycle Bipolar Disorder (with psychotic breaks–and very hostile manic episodes) isn’t what it appeared to be. My therapist heard about some of her symptoms and urged me to encourage her to get tested for Lyme Disease.
Turns out, that’s what she has. Explains the Bipolar Disorder. Not the Borderline Personality, PTSD, Dissociative Disorder or various Anxieties, but she ain’t as crazy as she used to be.
She now teaches bellydance (mostly tribal fusion style…cool as hell)

I work in a newspaper as an Advertising Designer. It’s unfulfilling but pays the rent.

And I live in a swamp (hence the name)

Lurking and having been here in the past has taught me many things, and here are a few promises:
I will never use “Hi, Opal!” but rather, I will not number a “list” of two.
I will never troll.
I will mock those that have earned my scorn, with creative insults (whatever happened to the term “goat-felcher,” anyway? Seems to have fallen into disuse)
I will never mention any style of Death Ray
Or say “gotcha ya!” or “I burning your dog”
Perhaps I’ll say “All your base are belong to us,” but probably not.
I will never, never never watch Showgirls or discuss its relative merits.

That’s it for now. I’m back, but didn’t bring pie. Deal with it.

2

Welcome home, prodigal. :slight_smile:

3

There’s…there’s no pie? What in the fuck! Can’t you at least slop some stuff into a tin and call it “pie”?

4

Pelvic affiliate ? Dude ! You better hope she’s not around. You young uns. Don’t know SCRATCH! Your old lady catches you sayin’ that stuff and you’ll be rubbing the carmex on the little mister after Missus Hand gets done. And dude? Please ! If your woman wants to watch Showgirls you’ll just watch it now, wont you?

5

Thank you, thank you…
(to prove I’m a true Doper: [nitpick] Prodigal wasteful, spendthrift[/nitpick]
Sure, the second definition is appropriate, but that’s one of those bullshit “common usage” terms, so there. :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley: )

LOUNE: 3.14159265
There. Happy now?

OM: She agrees with me. At 38 years old, it seems kinda silly saying “girlfriend.” We’ve started getting the term spread as much as we can. And she’s as likely to watch Showgirls as I am to sprout wings and fly. She’s a Dianic priestess who’s as offended by exploitation as you can get. Plus she’s heard it’s a shit movie.

6

Couldn’t you at least have sprung for some crumble or cobbler? Sheesh.

Welcome back. :wink:

7

Your pelvic partner is a Dianic priestess? Do tell. Seriously, that sounds pretty interesting. Are you also a pagan? Is pagan the right word?

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Nothing to tell, really…it’s a branch of paganism that is far more gynocentric, and it’s part of her life that doesn’t involve me whatsoever. The interesting part is that she’s a bellydancer.
But yes, Pagan is a perfectly acceptable word, IMO. It’s a nice blanket term which covers pretty much any of the religions that aren’t Judeo-Christian Monotheism or widely accepted Eastern (I’m aware, though, that “technically,” Buddhism, Hinduism, Shinto et al, are considered to be Pagan)
As for me, I’m lapsed semi-neopagnostic. I look at the forces of nature, vaguely anthropomorphise them, and then carry on living my life in the mundane sense.

9

Howdy from the upper end of the swamp! :smiley:

10

Oooh. Interesting. I’ve never heard that term before. Did you just make it up?

Doesn’t everyone?

Welcome, Swampwolf!

Now, what to call you. . . swampy is already taken. Wolfy? Sounds like my old dog’s name. Hmm. It’s not leaping to mind.

11

I remember you! (“pelvic affiliate”? I’m totally stealing that!)

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  1. Hey there, it’s swampbear! I was a little reluctant to be another swamp critter, seeing as how you’ve cornered the market, but…worse things have happened. At least no-one’s telling me I’m a Sha-Na-Na Wannabe (which I was at one point!)

  2. H&R, Yeah, I made it up…I’m big into portmanteaus.

  3. Hi, Opal!

:smack:

Well, at least it really, really fit!

Feel free to use the term “pelvic affiliate.” You don’t even need to give me credit (seeing as how I yoinked it from a friend)

13

He used to worship an 18-Wheeler.

ALL HAIL OPTIMUS PRIME! :smiley:

14

I remember Blessedwolf, but you smell different…

You smell like wet dead bunnies…

(Welcome back, btw!)

15

Nah, there’s room for all kinds of critters in the swamp. Now we need a swampgator, swampbunny, swampfox, swamppossum… the possibilities are endless! We could form our own Doper ecosystem! :smiley:

16

Great…the wet dead bunny smell hasn’t worn off yet. Perhaps I need more patchouli.

On second though, I’ll stick with wet dead bunny.

swampbear, do you live in, or near a swamp? If it’s near, move to in! I live in a cypress swamp, and there’s nothing like drinking coffee on the back porch and watching a bazillion different kinds of critters. We actually do have all that you listed and more…coyotes, coons (one li’l bastard keeps eating my outside cat’s food–no pic of Copellia yet, but I have other cats who will be posted soon. Them’s the rules), lizards, snakes, half a dozen differnt kinds of frog, herons, ibises, hawks, bald eagles, red-headed, pilleated and even the not-quite-as-extinct-as-previously-believed ivory-billed woodpecker and of course, owls. I’ll tell you, nothing on this earth is funnier than being chemically altered and listening to owls fuck.

I want to thank all of you for the warm re-welcome. I’m rather surprised I’m remembered. My tenure here was fairly uneventful (except for a pit thread which backfired. Live and learn, I s’pose). But as I mentioned to TubaDiva, being a member again is like coming back to my hometown.

p.s.: Bosda, how DARE you mock Optimus Prime! Word of advice…stay away from movie theatres until Transformers is no longer showing…you will be tried for heresy and sacrificed upon the Flying J