Who Wants To Be An Exexcutioner?

Cafe Society
21

OMG… I can’t believe I forgot Titanic.

Please go back to my post, and mentally replace all five of my entries (no wait… four… GWTW stays) with the name Titanic.

22

Hey Nerv, have you seen What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? Leonardo can actually act, it appears, when he puts his mind to it. He was nominated for an Academy Award for his portrayal of Arnie, and I think he deserved it.

My list:
[ul]* Independence Day. I don’t think I was supposed to be howling with laughter in the theater.

  • Caligula. What a cruel, heartless, joyless piece o’ sheet!
  • Flashdance. Although a movie in which there’s a dog named Grunt does have a least one redeeming characteristic.
  • All the Rambo movies.
    [/ul]
23
  1. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
  2. Cop and a Half
  3. Stop, or my Mom will Shoot
  4. Xanadu
  5. Short Circuit
24

Being a Highlander fan I was warned in advance about Highlander II, so I can say with pride that I’ve never seen it in it’s entirety. Unfortunately I have seen Highlander III, so that one goes right on list. I have never, and will never, if I can help it, see Highlander: Endgame. What part of “There can be only one.” do I need to explain?

My list would also include

Man’s Best Friend.
This was a terrible, terrible movie. I saw it at the dollar movie and got ripped off.

Watchers
Based on the Dean Koontz novel, this was a shudderingly awful movie and one of the worst book adaptations I’ve ever come in contact with.

The Next Best Thing
I probably shouldn’t list this movie, since I haven’t seen the entire movie. It was my then girlfriend’s pick and we switched it off 3/4 of the way through and proceeded to engage in The Best Thing, so it wasn’t a total loss.

American Movie
WTF? Was this really a movie? Did I actually watch this movie? Ok, I was pretty tired, and a little drunk, but I mean, really?

In all I’ve been pretty good at avoiding these terrible movies. I value my time and try not to spend it lightly on bad films, (on the other hand reading the SDMB for seven hours is perfectly acceptable!) so I have to be pretty sure before I commit to a movie.

25
  1. Clear and Present Danger - I know I’m alone on this one, so I’ll leave it be.

2)** America’s Sweethearts** - pure unadulterated drivel, with no real point, and events that apparently are not even causaly related. Actually, come to think of it…

3)** Anything with Julia Roberts** - she just cannot perform anything which could even in passing be refered to as acting. Unless the goal of every director she has ever worked with was to duplicate the same vapid, beautiful-to-all-men-and-yet-still-angst-ridden character, in which case she does an amazingly good job. Also, I just think she has too many teeth.

  1. The Princess Bride - Stupid, stupid, stupid. I know I’m gonna get flack for that.

5)** Titanic** - I think I deserve a prize as the only human being who has not seen this movie. I feel very proud. I do, however, share a counrty with Celine Dion, so I will keep my gloating to a minimum.

26

First thing to execute is the fool who listed The Princess Bride. :wink:

Okay… My list consists of:

  1. Star Wars: Episode 1 - Damn you Lucas… I damn you to an eternity of watching Ed Wood flicks. The force is caused by microbes? germs? Oh man…

  2. Star Wars: A New Hope re-release - I have one question for you, you rat bastard Lucas. Greedo shoots first?!?!?! You are furthermore damned to having port-a-potty sludge force fed to you whilst watching said Ed Wood flicks.

  3. Natural Born Killers - Oliver Stone, I condemn you to being ass-raped by George Lucas while he’s watching the aformentioned Ed Wood flicks. You managed to take what could’ve been a good script and filled it with psychotropic garbage. I got news for you, knucklehead. THE 60’S ARE OVER!

That’s all I can think of… I think I hurt myself.

[sub]Do these rants belong in the pit?