Hulk Hogan or Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Assuming both are in peak condition, my money’s on the Hulkster. Pro wrestlers are skilled acrobats as well as being bulked up. Ahnold might have had an edge in pure strength, but I doubt he was ever all that limber.
Glenn Danzig or Hugh Jackman?
My money’s on the Elvis of Evil.
An 18 foot Crocodile or an 18 foot Great White?
In deep water I’d wager on the Croc, based on the advantage of its tough hide. If the shark had the element of surprise, though, it could easily prevail.
In shallow water, or on land… the croc.
Bon Jovi or a Blade of Grass?
Whatever one’s opinion of his music, and or “acting”, I’m guessing he mowed a few lawns back in his day. Advantage: Bon Jovi.
Prince or Michael Jackson?
Michael might have a bit of a size advantage, but I’m betting Prince is a scrapper. Plus, none of his parts are likely to shatter on impact. Advantage: Prince
Vlad the Impaler or Ghengis Khan?
Both pretty small guys, I believe. But Temujin (Genghis) grew up on the Mongolian steppes, while Vlad had a relatively pampered youth as a royal hostage in the Ottoman court. My money’s on… KHAN!
Abraham Lincoln or Jesse Ventura?
Actually, Honest Abe was reportedly a pretty skillful wrestler back in his day. I can’t imagine 19th century skill making up for the body mass gap in this case, though. Score one for Governor Jesse.
The Incredible Hulk or Doomsday?
I’m not really that up on my comics, but I’m pretty sure that if the Hulk gets pissed enough, he’s unstoppable. Period. One for the Hulk.
Howard Stern or Jesus?
I envision Jesus turning the other cheek a few times until he realizes who’s fighting him. Then Stern turns into a pillar of salt. Advantage: Jesus.
Steve Irwin or Jeff Corwin?
I’m not sure how you can stop Steve… other than maybe at the box office. My money’s on Steve.
Bill Gates or Linus Torvalds?
Hell, Bon Jovi could probably beat Bill… as could Michael Jackson… or the blade of grass… especially if it was a blade of that big Johnson grass… you can cut yourself on that stuff… Bill would bleed to death in seconds…
Score one for the penguin. And for modern civilizaton
A Sasquatch or a Polar Bear?
Sasquatch are supposed to be pretty big and strong.
Polar Bears are bigger and stronger. And they have claws.
I’ve heard tell that large grizzlies can keep functioning with a hole shot in their heart. Polar Bears are bigger.
Polar Bear, hands down.
Homer Simpson or Maxwell Smart?
Anybody’s guess. Max is probably marginally smarter, but Homer’s darn near indestructable. I’ll go with Max, just because he actually won fights with some frequency on his show. Even if he didn’t look pretty while doing it. Plus he’d have 99 in his corner. Marge is nice and all, but has no killer instinct.
