Well the badger wins but just by a hair, because the few seconds before a 200 foot tall mantis shrimp with no internal skeleton more or less instantly liquifies into a puddle of shrimp goo is just a bit faster than a 200 foot tall badger’s lungs and skeleton collapsing. As the Tick related - Gravity is a harsh mistress.
The Badger.
Seriously. I’ve seen a giant badger rip the head off a giant duck. It happened on September 9, 2000 in the north end zone of Camp Randall Stadium.
Donald Duck, the feathered mascot of the University of Oregon, was dancing and taunting us. The nerve of that fowl, to abuse our hospitality and act like a total jerk in our house, during a nationally televised event… someone had to stop him.
Bucky Badger strolled proudly over, and stated politely, “Mister Duck, please refrain from embarassing yourself and the fine state of Oregon. You are my guest, and while we enjoy friendly competition, your antics have no place here.”
The damned duck made a grab for Bucky.
With lightning fast badger reflexes, Bucky acted in self defense and pushed the duck to the ground. Donald’s body stopped quickly on the artificial turf.
His large, round, white head continued to roll.
The separation of the duck halves was a sight of kinetic beauty… and as the realization of what had just occurred swept through the stadium, a great cheer built in the student section. Bucky had conquered a nemesis, and Wisconsin went on to win, 27-23.
Do their hearts grow at only half the rate the rest of them do, a la The Amazing Colossal Man?
Let’s answer this sort of important question in the lingo it deserves:
b4dg3r iz g0nna pwnzer that shr1mp and 8 more liek him. liek it’s n0thing. Mo-mo-mo-MONSTER KILL!!!11!! LOLOLOL!!!1!!1!
No. The hearts frow at the same rate.
Whatever the outcome, I strongly advise anyone against eating the meat of a rabid animal, with or without garlic butter.
Well, I have not seen anyone advocating Atomic Shrimp Racing.
I was pretty neutral on this fight, until reading this:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&e=6&u=/nm/odd_badger_dc
And this was a small, un-rabid badger, bearing no lasers… ::shiver::
Got to go with the badger on this one.
Who said the badger was rabid anyway?
My money’s on the badger. I mean, come on. Shrimp is a synonym for “wimp”. Plus they rhyme.
Yes, but you keep fogetting this is a mantis shrimp. It’s a stomatopod. The stomatopod can strike in 1/2000 of a second, before the badger even has time to react. And stomatopods are extremely vicious and pugnacious, so the badger’s got nothing on him there. Besides, like all arthropods, stomatopods are armored. The badger’s claws wouldn’t have any effect.
Quite the important point, poly; is the badger atomic or regular?