I agree with Kat and wring. If this is what you consider your “best friend”, you don’t need any enemies. It sounds to me like you have a crush on him and you think that by putting up with his bullshit, he’ll eventually realize how great you are. It will never happen. Friends should make you happy–they don’t criticize and belittle you and, at the very least, they wish you a happy birthday. I say drop the asshole, because that’s all he is.
You want some cheese with that whine?
KSO, you’re reading my mind. Scary.
Yeah, umm… maybe you should have a little confab before trying to have him damned to the 7th concentric circle of hell. That’s my IMHO. IANA asshole, but I play one on TV. As far as I can tell, if you don’t confront him and tell him, IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, how you feel, things are not going to change. And I put so much emphasis on the phrase because men simply do not have the mastery of subtlety that women do. Seriously. We don’t. Never have, never will. Don’t drop hints. I don’t care if they’re big or little. Hit him in the head with the brick of “This is what you’ve been doing to me for the past (insert time frame here).” If he says he doesn’t care/you’re lying/one of the myriad statements men make when they know damn well something is true but would rather die than admit, you’ll know exactly where you stand with him. Or rather, where you sit. Behind the wheel. Of your car. While he’s crossing the street. Feel me?
At the risk of sounding like a mom here, that might be just what he’s trying to find out. Whether he knows it or not. Call him on it. Tell him what you’ve told us, and see if you can set some limits between the two of you.
That is, if you want to keep him as a friend. If you think he’s just using you, then maybe you should cut your losses. But I hate to see people drop friends if they can work thing out.